Just Say No

Lamentations

            Keigo was extremely quiet as he stared up at the ceiling. It took him a few minutes before he slowly sat up. He sighed as he looked down at the burn on his arm. Shadow Jin sat in front of him, smiling brightly. 

   "Looks like it's just you and me, birdy boy. I'm much better than that petty little boyfriend of yours. After all, you were just-"

  "SHUT UP! Please just... shut up... Why did you ever have to come back? I liked it while you were off somewhere fucking someone else's life up. I never asked you to come back and ruin my life you know. I never asked you to be here at all! Just get your ugly ass out of my face!" Keigo screamed. He sent a rain of sharpened feathers in the general direction of the shadow.

  He shivered a bit at the crash that came from the feathers digging themselves into the bedpost and bedside table. Keigo let out a soft whimper as he noticed that one of the feathers had shattered a picture frame with a photo of him and Dabi. Seeing the photo make Keigo begin to shake as tears pooled in his eyes. 

    "You really did fuck up like you did with Eito, didn't you? Ooh, or should I perhaps remind you of those days?" Shadow Jin cooed. He cupped Keigo's cheeks with surprising tenderness. His ghostly fingers glided over the young hero's pale sun-freckled cheeks. Keigo shook his head and laid down, pulling his blanket up over his head as he silently cried into his hands. Shadow-Jin continued to chat just outside of the blanket. His worlds were all muddled in Keigo's mind to the point that nothing that he said made sense. He squeezed his eyes shut as he let himself drift off. 

~

     Keigo's dreams hurled him back in time to an old memory. Eito was sitting behind Keigo, gently brushing his hair and snipping away at the locks with a sharp pair of scissors. 

   "What's she like?... The girl that your mother's making you marry?" Keigo asked, his voice quiet. He felt Eito's hands falter. The other boy got up, going to sit on the bed. 

   "Can we not talk about that, please? Now really isn't the time, I- I don't want to talk about her today. This is the last that we're gonna be able to see each other, so y'know. I don't want it to be eclipsed by... that.. like everything else in my life has become recently. Can we just... pretend that this is just another normal day nothing more," Eito sighed. His tone was dull and completely dead. Keigo's heart ached. He pulled the taller boy into a tight hug. 

   "Don't forget me, okay? Not I'll be waiting for you. When I become a great hero, I-I'll find you again. We can reconnect. It doesn't have to end like this I-"

  "Kei, I have no doubt that you will," Eito gently cupped Keigo's cheeks, looking into his eyes with a gaze that poured out every bit of love that he had for the younger teen, "You're going to be an amazing- amazing hero someday, and we'll find each other again and we can live that cheesy ass happy life like we always dreamed of. Hell... maybe if things work out we can even... start our relationship over again... Have a family together." Keigo sniffled, giving him a gentle kiss. 

  "You know that there is nothing else in the world that I would want, Ei... I will fight with all that I have to get to that future. I promise you," Keigo cried, his voice breaking. Both boys turned their heads as the door creaked open. Ms. Gaelen was standing there with a wicked smile on her face. 

  "Come along, Eito, you should be packing. There's no time to delay on days like these. You wouldn't want to be late for your own wedding now, would you? It isn't very gentlemanly to keep a lady waiting, you know," She said, walking right past Keigo and grabbing Eito's arms. "Come along now."

  "L-late?! but you said that the wedding wasn't for another week! Today was supposed to be my day for goodbyes and shit like that. You can't make me leave now!" Eito got to his feet, tears pooling in his eyes. Gaelen rolled her eyes. 

  "Hurry up and pack. I won't wait for you forever. You don't need to say goodbye to anyone. It's not like you actually thought that these friendships were going to last, did you? Did you actually?" She sneered, grabbing her son by the arm, "Start packing." 

    The door swished closed behind her, leaving Eito in tears. Keigo rushed over and gathered his boyfriend into his arms, nuzzling him softly as he cried. 

  "It's okay... it's all going to be okay... We'll be okay."

'But you're not going to do anything, are you, Keigo? You're just going to let him go. All for the good of the commission,' Said a voice in Keigo's head. It sent a shiver down his spine and tears to his eyes... but it was right... he wouldn't do anything.

~

  When Keigo woke up, he felt exhausted despite the hours of sleep. He could still hear Shadow Jin yapping away about something or another. He curled up tighter as he tried to block him out. The memory from his dream had slowly faded away, but the pain lingered. He flinched as Shadow-Jin peeked under the blanket, grinning wildly. He seemed to look so much more grotesque than he had. Blood dripped off of the shadow's lips, turning to darkness as soon as the droplets hit Keigo's cheek. 

  'Whatcha thinking about, hmmm? You letting those old memories get you down? C'mon. Quit being so sad,' He giggled, continuously poking Keigo's cheek. 

  "As if I can stop it. You're the one making me feel this way. I wouldn't even be thinking of these sorts of things if it weren't for you," Keigo mumbled, trying to turn away. Shadow Jin Laughed, curling in beside him. 

  'You think that I did any of this? Silly stupid Keigo. You should know that the way you feel is aaaall up to you. I got no sway in that. Just like I had no sway on you cutting yourself or flipping out on Dabi or killing Jin or-'

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! I would never do any of those things- I would never think in that sort of fucking painful self-destructive way if YOU weren't constantly here whispering in my ear and reminding me of everything that I've ever done wrong in my life!" He yelled as he practically threw the blanket off of himself and got to his feet. 

'Even if it was my fault, it all comes back to you in the end,' Shadow Jin sneered, cold fingers wrapping around Keigo's lower arm and digging in, 'In the end, it was your choice to stay. It was your choice to listen to me. It was always your choice, so you cannot blame this on anyone but yourself.'

Keigo was starting to shake. He said nothing to the being as he threw its hand off of his arm and got dressed. His eyes were dark as he lept from his balcony and flew off into the night. Fuck this. Fuck all of this. He wasn't going to stand there and let that... that THING talk to him like that. There were still people who loved him. Right? RIGHT!? Right. He just had to go to them. Rumi... Rumi was his best friend... surely she would understand. She loved him. He didn't need anyone else. All he needed was someone who would actually listen to him. She would listen to him.. right?