Red Eyes |Genji x Reader|

Chapter 17

It's been a week since the explosion incident. Blackwatch returned to its 'normal' state, which meant no missions containing numerous casualties. And yet, ever since then, [y/n] had been feeling... Restless. The first explosion she experienced, many thoughts ran rampant through her head, so much so that it took everything within her willpower to not have a mental breakdown... But the second time, when she was the cause of the explosion, something within her lit up... Feeling the force of something that she did, and without the need of words exhilarated her.

Though despite all that, she kept that part of her self-discovery to herself, she didn't even express it to Angela. She wasn't sure if how she felt was over-excess adrenaline, or if she hit her head a little too hard on the ground. Whatever it was, she felt sure that it would leave her system soon.

With the new day of the week, [y/n] walked through the hallway with a mug of steaming coffee in her right hand, and a bowl of food in her left. It wasn't anything fancy, just some segments of food displayed neatly in a cafeteria tray.    Humming quietly to herself, she followed down the same path she took every day, which just so happened to lead to Genji's room. Before the explosion incident, [y/n] would've been screaming internally to herself to turn around, but now, she felt the tug of a string leading her down the path, as if she wanted to. What once was reluctance, now turned into willingness.

When she made it to Genji's secluded room, [y/n] scanned her pass, which in turn slid the door open. She was met with a meditating Genji. "Your late." He said without turning to her. [Y/N] walked over to him and sat down, albeit a little awkward because rather than wear her battle-ready uniform which included pants, she wore a formal skirt that reached just a few inches above her knee, accompanied by a long-sleeved white blouse with a white tank top underneath.

"Well I'm sorry Mr. Bossy but I have other patients besides you." [Y/N] stuck out her tongue in defiance. Before, she would have run away the moment that left her lips, but things were different now... Now she was met with a steel look that glinted with silent amusement. "You're a child," Genji said as he turned around and removed his face cover to eat. Even after everything she's been through, all the change she's made in such a short time, she can never get used to looking at just how damaged Genji was physically.

She was so haunted by it, that she hadn't realized that the one she'd been staring at was staring back. "I know what you must think of me..." His words snapped her back to reality, and she looked down in shame for staring for so long. "I didn't mean to stare..." She expected him to become angry, but there was just silence. When she looked up again, she found Genji staring helplessly at both of his hands... One machine, and one flesh. "I'm a monster." [Y/n]'s breath hitched in her throat.

"Gen-" She was quickly cut off. "Please. Just... Let me talk." His words held more pain than anything, and for once, she was okay with being quiet if it meant Genji would finally open up to her.

"From birth, I, along with my brother were raised with the highest of expectations. Despite being the second born, I was still expected to take part in the business, and even lead it, should something happen to my brother." His words were steady and calm as if he had repeated this story over and over in his mind. And yet, true to her word, [y/n] remained silent.

"I suppose I could've done the more sensible thing: to obey what I was told. Maybe I wouldn't have ended up like this." His hands clutched tightly into fists. He was unsettled by the thought of a 'what if'.

When nothing more was said from Genji, it took [y/n] what seemed like a whole two minutes to process his words. "We're the same..." [Y/n] hadn't realized her words had come through her lips until Genji looked up at her. Realizing he was waiting for an explanation, she immediately sputtered out. "It- It's just that, ever since I could remember, my father has always been oppressive. Men don't want a girl with a hunched posture, men don't want a girl who stutters... Men don't want a girl who cries. It always seemed like every time I did something, no matter how great or small, it was always looked upon with disappointment... Like that's all I ever was." Now it was her turn to spill everything out, and in return, Genji too remained silent.

"So... I guess we both got fucked over by our own families. If you say you're a monster because of it, then what does that make me." [Y/n] wiped tears away with her sleeve. In her mind, she knew the answer was simple: A weak link.

"And yet..." Genji spoke up. "Here you are, speaking to a monster as if it was the most natural thing you did." [Y/n] sighed, repeating what she had always told him. "I'm your doctor, it's my duty to oversee-"

"Cut the bullshit." [Y/n] flinched. She feared that perhaps she upset him in some way. Maybe comparing her problems to his body being destroyed. But all that doubt she had quickly faded when she felt the gentlest of touches against her chin. Her head automatically tilted up, and she hadn't realized the Genji was sitting so close to her. When did that happen?

"You want to know what the real difference is between you and me?" He hummed softly. The most gentle he had ever spoken to her. She felt her face searing from the sudden contact, and her shy demeanor returning to her. Whether or not she would like his answer was to be determined.

"No... No, I don't know the difference." She managed to say. For a moment, the room was filled with breathless silence, until Genji spoke once more. "The difference between you and me... Is heart." She was confused by what that implied until she realized he wasn't finished. His fingers left her chin, nearly causing her to whine from the loss of contact. She was surprised when she felt his hand over her heart. She secretly hoped that he wouldn't feel how rapidly it was beating. "Your heart beats in time with the good in life. No matter how many times it wants to stop, no matter how exhausted it is... It keeps beating."

"And... What about yours?" She asked. She slowly reached for his, just like he did with hers, only to yelp in surprise when he grabbed her wrist, surprisingly tight. "It doesn't matter." His words came out hastily. "It'll never beat in time with yours. It's nothing but metal and machine now."

She hated his words, and she wanted to do everything she could to convince him that he was wrong, but knowing the progress they had already made, she knew the best thing to do would be to take it slow, and not rush it any further. Genji released his grip on her wrist and picked up the food bowl that had been sitting there, growing cold. This hadn't phased him much, so he still ate it.

Even though there was far more to say, [Y/N] was okay with just finishing their conversation. Sometimes, real talk is all that's needed to progress healing.

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Author's note:

Woo boy! I spent about an hour and a half at most typing this up. No breaks. It feels nice to write for y'all again. Though disclaimer, I won't guarantee the same quality without my writing partner, Emily. But I will sure as hell try my best.

- Love, Cryanide

#Its-been-a-long-time-so-I-dont-know-what-to-do-for-these-anymore-but-will-do-them-out-of-tradition-anyway