Chasing Chances

Chapter 11

"Pearl....."

I don't know what feelings I was feeling right now, but I know that the moment I have heard his voice, I want to cry and tell him that I miss him so much.

Ngayon ang ika-pitong araw simula nang umalis siya and tomorrow is the day he had promised to come back.

With trembling hands and a shaking voice, I call his name that took me days before I could utter his name again.

"F-flynn..."

Katahimikan ang sumalubong sakin sa kabilang linya. I don't know if he didn't recognize me or he hasn't had a voice to speak. I look at Pearl that is now drying her tears. For an unexplainable reason, my chest cries out loud because of the pain I am feeling only seeing her actions. She was silently sweeping the tears in her eyes while gripping the towel that is wrapped in her body. And for ridiculous thought, I uttered a stupid statement.

"Pearl missed you so much, Flynn," I said while looking intently at Pearl. I was ready to give the phone to her when he spoke that led me to take a deep breath.

"S-sache, how have you been, hmm?" Hindi ko nagawang makasagot dahil agad akong tumalikod at lumabas ng apartment. Doon ako umiyak ng tahimik at nawalan ng pakialam kahit may makakita pa sakin. Patuloy akong umiiyak habang nakikinig lamang siya as bawat hikbing pinapakawalan ko.

Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na umuwi na siya, bumalik na siya at samahan ako, kasi ang hirap ng ganito.

Sa loob ng isang linggo na wala siya ay parang kinakapos ako sa hangin, nahihirapan akong huminga kahit wala namang problemang malala. Gusto kong kumilos ng malaya pero hindi ko magawa kasi alam kong may kulang, gawin ko man lahat ng gusto kong gawin ay nahihirapan ako.

Nahihirapan ako.

Nahihirapan ako sa lahat, Flynn.

"Hey, hush now hmm? I am not there to wipes your tears, so please hushed now—"

"Then be here Flynn. P-please be here, nakakainis ka alam mo 'yun? You're telling me to hushed now? Really? Tanga! Naiinis ako sayo! You forgot me, Flynn, you did." I continued crying and did not even bother to wipe my tears.

Inabot pa ako ng ilang minuto bago nahimasmasan. Gamit ang kamay ko ay marahan kong pinunasan ang mga luhang natuyo sa mukha ko. Ramdam ko ang hapdi ng magkabilang mata ko at sisinghot singhot akong umiling dahil sa sipon.

"I'm mad at you..... I'm mad. You didn't call me since you left, or have texted me at least. I am checking my phone during my free time just to see if you did, but I feel so bad when I got nothing." I almost applause myself for saying those without stuttering. Tho I could already feel the lump in my throat.

"I did Sache. I did." Sa sinabi niya ay kumalma ako, sapat na sakin ang marining na ginawa niya, kahit dalawang beses lang sa loob ng isang linggo, o isang beses sa sunod-sunod na pitong araw. Hindi ko siya pwedeng kontrahin sa sinabi niya dahil may mga oras na low batt ang cell phone ko. Baka nagkataon lang.

"Pearl's there?" I nodded my head as if he could see me. I poke my cheeks using my tongue and tapped the floor using my feet.

"She's in pain, Flynn. I was shocked when I saw her outside my apartment, she was hiding her face in both of her knees, but I can tell that she was crying just looking at her shaking shoulders. You should be returned Flynn para dalawa tayong mag co-comfort sa kanya. Iyak siya ng iyak, she even used all the tissue I have." Mahabang lintanya ko sa kanya na para bang sa paraan na'to ay kayang burahin lahat ng iniisip ko. Wala sa sariling tumawa ako habang pinapakinggan ang mararahang halakhak ni Flynn. Nag-mistula itong musika sa mga tainga ko at kahit paulit-ulit ko man mapakinggan ay hindi ko pag sa-sawaan.

Nadatnan ko si Pearl na nakaupo sa kama habang may hawak na libro. Inabot kami ng ilang oras ni Flynn sa pag ku-kuwentuhan bago ko napagdesisyonan na pumasok. Lumapit ako sa kanya at inabot ang cell phone sa kanya na agad niya namang kinuha. Umupo ako sa tabi niya at sinandal ang ulo sa balikat niya.

"Babalik na siya bukas, Pearl." Bakas ang kasiyahan sakin ng sabihin ko yun kay Pearl. Sinabi kasi kanina sakin ni Flynn na babalik na siya bukas gaya ng sinabi niya. Ramdam ko din ang saya kay Pearl kahit hindi niya man sabihin.

"Sorry, naubos ko yata lahat ng bakanteng oras ni Flynn, hindi man lang kayo nakapag-usap," I said to Pearl. She put her arms around my waist and she squeezes it gently. Ilang oras kami nag-usap ni Flynn, kaya ng sinabi kong ibibigay ko kay Pearl ang cell phone ay agad siyang nag-paalam dahil may gagawin pa daw siya.

"Ano kaba, Sache, okay lang 'yun nuh? Besides, I am happy that you've talked to him. So it's okay nothing to worry about." I want to believe in every word you say Pearl but with the emotions that are painted in your face, I can't.

Iba ang sinasabi ng mga mata ni Pearl sa sinasabi niya. She could tell the truth, that she was unhappy knowing that Flynn has talked to me but have no guts to talk to her. Why lying?

"It's already late and I think we should be sleeping right now." She said and lay down on the bed. She extended her hand so I took it and lay beside her. Magkaharap kaming dalawa habang magkahawak ang mga kamay. I always dreamed of this and I hope that it won't change forever even in my dreams.

"Good night."

"Good night."

She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. I close my eyes and held her hand before I pray.

I want you to take care of this girl, God. She is the second important person in my life. Thinking that she was hurting and unhappy makes me feel hurt too. So, please cast all the pain she was feeling away and clean all the bad thoughts she has. Don't let anyone hurt her and please guides her through the right path. I love her so much, God. I am.

For the last time, I open my eyes and leaned forward to kiss her forehead, and murmured good night. I fixed myself in the mattress also the blankets. I held her hand and close my eyes.