𝐎𝐂𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒 ━ shawn hunter¹

11│CUTTING THE CORD

"Hey, guys," he greeted them cordially as his arm wrapped around her shoulders. "Gollum's told me so much about you all that it feels like I know you already."

"Gollum?" Cory echoed.

At the same time Shawn commented, "that's funny since she's never mentioned you." He carried on: "anyway, I'm Shawn. Good to meet you. This is my date, Angela. That's Topanga and Cory and this Angela, my date. I understand that we have a potentially embarrassing situation here but I hope that we can all be mature and have a wonderful time. Come on, Julie. Get comfortable, enjoy yourselves."

"Thanks," she replied warily. Kendrick found two chairs for them which he added to the table as she continued: "um, I have to go to the restroom. I'll be right back."

Once she left, the curly-haired boy turned to Angela. "You see? Do you see how much fun Shawn can be?"

"Yeah, that's the Shawn I've seen," she agreed.

"You handled that like a prince," Cory told the boy. "You know why? Because you are the king of dating and we are all. . ." Now that Juliet wasn't there and he didn't feel the need to impress "Kendrick," Shawn let himself sink back down to the table. "No, we are all gonna have a good time, Shawn. No, no—"

Kendrick watched Juliet's infamous best friend with interest. After having heard so many stories about him, he wasn't exactly what he'd been expecting. He couldn't believe that this was the guy that she was so heartbroken over but he supposed he wasn't in the place to judge. After all, she'd never met Celeste and probably had an image of her in her head that wasn't actually what his girlfriend was like.

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"He's staring at you, you know," Kendrick murmured as they stood by the sign-up booth for karaoke.

She scoffed. "No he isn't."

"I'm telling you, Gollum, he is. Here, let me help you out." He placed his hand warmly on her shoulder and whispered, "laugh."

"What?"

"Pretend like I said something funny."

"I can't fake laughter—"

"Just do it."

Together, they burst into laughter as they bent over the song selection that the restaurant offered. Juliet's mirth ended much faster than his and she turned back to the list in front of them before he could pester her further. As much as she appreciated his efforts she wasn't good at faking it.

"This one," she said suddenly, pointing to the name.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely positive."

"Alright," he agreed before he gave their names to the announcer.

They were introduced over the loudspeaker: "'and now, let's give a warm Captain Randy's coco-loco welcome to our first contestants, Juliet and Kendrick!'"

While she wasn't a fan of performing on stage, Juliet couldn't help but be excited for the song they'd chosen. When the music began, she started off with reading the words on the screen in an uncertain tone: "'yeah, you are my fire, the one desire, believe when I say I want it that way, but we are two worlds apart, can't reach to your heart when you say that I want it that way. . .'"

The words held more meaning now than they ever had before and, almost instinctively, her eyes found Shawn's as she began to sing the song to him. Kendrick's voice faded to the background as hers became less nervous: "'now I can see that we've fallen apart from the way that it used to be, yeah, no matter the distance I want you to know that deep down inside of me you are my fire, the one desire, you are. . .'"

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Cory and Topanga found Shawn sitting alone in the Student Union the next day and his face was blank as he stared off into the distance. They joined him on the couch as Topanga began, "Shawn, first dates after a break up are always difficult. It'll get easier."

"No it won't. Let's face it, there's something wrong with me."

"There's nothing wrong with you, Shawn. It's just. . . I mean, you're obviously hurting over Juliet and it's gonna take time," Cory told him.

"And hey, maybe it didn't work out with Angela like you guys thought it would. When you're ready to meet someone new, you will," the blonde added.

"I don't want to meet somebody new. I'd screw that up, too. Guys, it's me. I finally had the relationship I'd wanted all my life and I threw it away like it was nothing. And then when I tried again with Angela, I killed it. I'm never gonna have a relationship like you guys. I'm not normal."

"Well, Shawn, we're not normal!" Cory exclaimed. "I mean, we're freaks."

"We are. We're freaks who've loved each other since we were two."

"I know," Shawn agreed quietly. "And being friends with you guys has shown me how great it is to have a relationship. But I don't know how to keep it. I know I've said that I love Julie but what do I really know about love? I mean, if I could break up with her as easily as I did, what if I'm incapable of it? What if I can't do that?"

"Shawn, that's crazy," Topanga protested.

"No, it's not. Not for me. I don't know. I always thought Julie and I were destined for a relationship like you two have but I guess not everyone can be that lucky. It's-it's kind of hard being around you two now, you know?"

"Shawn, what do you want us to do?"

"Nothing, nothing. It's not you, it's me. Cory, for the first time, I've realized how different we really are. I just need time, I gotta be alone. I am alone."

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A few days later, he found a package waiting for him on his bed. More curious than he was willing to admit, he picked up the note first. He opened it to read: 'you can have space but you're not alone. It's us against the world, remember? I've got you, babe.'

With a small smile, he put down the note and opened the wrapped present. Inside was a very familiar Walkman. 

[written oct. 2021]
[edited jun. 2022]