𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐀 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐀

Bombò

One more lonely week passes. A week full of regret, guilt, brokenness and pain but also relief. I'm still debating with myself whether I've made the right choice.

Damiano is starting tour today. Luckily, his performance in Rome tonight is being televised so I can watch and see how he is. It starts in an hour. It probably won't help my feelings if I watch but I need to make sure he's ok. I've received what feels like a thousand messages asking me to go with him. I haven't replied. It still hurts me to have to ignore him but I've come to the conclusion I should.

I wish I could be there. Supporting him. Ready to greet him when he walks off stage. Congratulate him on his performance. I just can't. Fucking media, fucking news, paparazzi. I hate them. They've ruined what feels like my whole life. I just couldn't deal with seeing 'Damiano cheater?' And 'Damiano's got a new lady?' Every time I open my phone. I thought I could trust him, but maybe it's just beyond my abilities. Even if none of it is true, I just can't live feeling like I can't trust my own boyfriend who I love. Loved. No I do still love him. Fuck.

an hour passed and I put on the Tv to watch Damiano perform.

And there he was. The first time I'd seen him in three weeks. Bless him. I just wanted to run to him and give him the biggest hug I've ever given anyone. But I still wouldn't if I had the chance.

He sang beautifully as always. His black hair slicked back sexily. His brown eyes shimmering in the light. And his body moving around the stage. I missed every part of him.

He looked sad. He didn't look like he was enjoying himself as much as he usually did. He should've moved on by now surely. Well, I haven't. So I guess he hasn't either.

I see Thomas, put a hand on Damianos back as he appears to be crying. What? I've ruined his tour, oh my god. No Marlena, you haven't. You know it's for the best and we will both end up happier because of your actions.

A few songs pass. No smile on his face what so ever.

I stand up to go get myself a glass of water. I feel that feeling again: guilt, pain, loneliness and I recall the memories of him and i. I wipe my nose and walk back to watch the Tv.

The song he was singing was ending. He sang the final line.

I turn around to grab the remote to turn it up

"Te amo bombò" I heard through the TV.

No. That was what he called me. I know he is talking to me. Oh my god.

I drop my glass of water, it smashing everywhere and I feel my eyes begin to stream with tears as Damiano blows a kiss into the camera.