Reverse Psychology

18: It's okay to not be okay.

Are you the mom to your siblings? I am literally the Ursala in my house.

BUTTERCUP
"You're going to be okay. You'll forget everything like I have. I don't think about her. I'm fine." Blossom lied; the last more than the others, with a deceitful smile, a saccharine warmth, looking into my eyes as she did so and I was always too hypnotized to notice.

She never for once looked guilty for lying; she never had a furtive stare in her eyes. She didn't feel weary when she lied because she never used any effort, she never felt hurt, she didn't have any burdens to carry. She just didn't care. She didn't care how I felt, she didn't care about the repercussions of her lies, she didn't know how I stayed up at night thinking about how much I wanted to be strong like her; a false hero.

She was trying to look like her mom again -the infamous ink black hair and cold grey eyes, after years of lying to me blood sometimes isn't thicker than water, I almost finally believed like the idiot she thought me to be. She was trying to run back to her mother in hopes of being accepted with her temporary changes after almost convincing me to move on from what happened. If she planned on leaving after lying to me for so long, why did she ever start lying? What did she think was going to happen to me after she left?

She was erroneous and crossed a line I thought, my mind clouded with dark and painfully sentimental thoughts as I busted into her room. She was lying innocently on her bed, a leg crossed over the other as they hung in the sky, a book in her hands; hovering over her face and finger mid swipe. She looked away from her book, head dipping into the mattress and at me, shock and its tantamount emotions clouding her features.

"Buttercup." She said softly equally with strictness -a skill she has mastered, but her voice bounced off the bubble that sheathed me, merging me with my rage.

I dived into her room, heading for her bathroom, ignoring her calls elicited from her fake worry. I couldn't believe anything she did was real again after deceiving me for ten years.

I went through her shelves and threw everything down. She was a liar and she deserved it. My hand gripped the conditioner I bought for her a few weeks ago and I was suddenly whisked away by a once beautiful memory. She had hugged me, smiled and told me how much she loved it and I hugged her back and joked about how I was boyfriend material. Had she lied about that too? I wondered.

I threw it to the ground. I also bought her a matching shampoo which I realized as I stared at the object so enticing to throw at her. My angered and hurt eyes meeting her perspicacious ones which had taken in everything and realized why I was doing what I did, as I threw the bottle to the ground, the sound reverberating in my ear like a warning bell.

I knew what I was doing and I know what the answer I searched for vigorously would do to me. It would break me if what Butch said was true, it would be a big slap on the face if she was trying to look like the old Blossom. The Blossom that turned into the monster raveling in her mania once she crossed her threshold.

I didn't know what pulled me but I found myself drawing closer to her sink which I had neither noticed nor suspected. My hand slowly reached behind as something squeezed my heart. I reached out behind her sink and pulled out a nylon bag. My eyes closed shut. It hurt, the sting of her betrayal hurt. I sprung up to my feet and emptied the contexts to the ground, the only remaining vestiges of Blossom's weakness and she dived down immediately to protect them. She hugged the evidence to her chest as if hide them from me. I let out a scoff.

"What are you doing?" Her voice was low and demanding but also held a plea which I shunned.

"I saw everything Blossom" I said slowly and clearly. "How long has this been going on?"

She still held onto the evidence. Her eyes were fixated on the ground under my feet. She couldn't even meet my eyes, the embarrassment killing her. "Who told you?"

"That does not matter." I don't know where I mustered enough strength from to be tranquil. Maybe it's just the pathetic way she looked that filled me with pity. I squatted and placed a hand on her shoulder. She didn't still meet my eyes, instead she cowered. "You--"

"Who told you!" She screamed and I jumped back.

I sighed ruefully and pulled my hand away. "Butch."

Her hands immediately balled up. I could feel all the emotions she was exuding, from pain to anger then to hatred. "Get out." She said quietly. So quietly I had to ask her to repeat herself, more because I wanted to believe she wasn't trying to kick me out and believe she thought she had the right to push me away.

"Get out." She repeated even louder and something in me snapped at that moment.

I chuckled. I could suddenly forgive everything she has ever done to me. I could forgive the lies, the secrets, everything, I could give her a second chance because I pitied her because she was my best friend but when she told me to get out I felt everything but pity, everything but friendship because at that moment I hated her, so I told her.

"I hate you." Her eyes snapped to me immediately, searching my face for seriousness, eyes pooling with tears when she found her answer.

'Get out' she said but all i heard was 'you never mattered to me'. 'Get out' she said but what I heard was 'you were just something to pass time'. 'Get out' she said but what I heard was 'I hate you' and it hurt because my best friend hated me.

Her hands scrapped the ground; a gut wrenching sound escaped her lips, sending a shiver down my spine. Her breathing was erratic; chest rising and falling abnormally. Soon she was choking, choking on the tears she didn't want to shed. I thought she didn't trust me enough to cry and I hurt more.

"Just let it out Blossom." I wanted to say. "Don't fight it. Let it out." But instead I said, "You're pathetic."

She bowed her head, tears running down her face. I had seen it in her eyes. She expected me to leave, anticipated me running away from like her mother did and she needed to be reminded I wasn't her mother. I sunk down to my knees and hugged her.

I did hate her but I loved her so I told her. "I love you, you dumbass. Bubbles and I love you so much but you don't seem to realize it. I'm pissed you're doing this to yourself in the darkness. I'm pissed I didn't know and I can't hate you for being weak."

I squeezed her tighter, "it's okay to not be okay." Then she broke in my arms, letting all the silent wails she was used to only her walls hearing. She let out the tears she has been holding back and she broke.
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So how was this chapter? We got to see Buttercup and Blossoms relationship again. And now Blossom hates Butch, what do you think she is going to do to him in the next chapter? Who can guess? Lol also, do you think Buttercup was a little dramatic with her reaction only to admit to loving Blossom in the end? And we're you really pissed when she told Blossom she hated her? Major Eren Jaeger vibes.

Please, like and comment!!!! Thank you. Oh...I also reached 1k reads, I am so happy and grateful to my readers thank you sooo much. This book is just 4 months old but it's growing so fassst. Thank you again for deciding to read my book. I hope I can reach 2k before four months again.