Artificial Love

Chapter Nine

Louis 

The sunlight peaks through the drawn curtains, warming the dresser across my room. My left over water bottles are scattered across the floor. 

It's almost looks like I broke. 

Which in a way, I did. 

I don't fully know what happened. All of a sudden I just closed myself off, Harry thinks I did it because of seeing Brody. I can't confirm that. 

It's a mixture of things. 

The feeling of falling in love with someone is the high of my life. I feel happy, I feel powerful. Like, suddenly, I am the world. I feel on top of the world. 

Then it hits. The overwhelming feeling of grief, the sorrow, the feeling of dread. The sadness comes rolling in, but I don't even know what for. 

It may be caused by seeing Brody. He brought up pats mistakes, what I used to do. Made me feel bad for the things I did, things I regret. He managed to get into my head- like all of this was my fault. 

Or it may be because of my pregnancy. It just hit me that I'm having a baby. A baby I'm responsible for. I'm scared, scared of the future. I always like to know what's coming next, but for this- I have no idea what's coming for me. 

Will I be a good parent? Will I be able to give my baby girl what she needs? Will I make myself proud? 

It all comes with numerous questions that I unfortunately don't have the answers to. I wish I did, it would make everything so much simpler. 

I try to be okay. For Harry, for Niall. Hoping that by doing this I could mange to convince myself that it would be okay. It's all new, it's all scary. 

It's been like this for the past month. I'm 24 weeks pregnant, and it's not getting any easier. 

There's a knock on the door before it creaks open, I look over and see my joy. My happiness. 

"We just finished the room," Harry says softly to me. 

"You did?" I question, astonished with the progress they made. Harry's been keeping me updated all the time. He knows I've been struggling, but it also factors in that my feet and back are always killing me. 

"yes, darling. Would you like to come see it?" He asks me, cautiously. I always manage to keep him on his toes, my mood changes haven't been getting better, it's getting harder to control them. 

"That would be amazing, help me?" I respond, reaching out my hand for him. 

He grasps my hand, and his other hand on my back- pushing me forwards and off the bed. He kisses my lips softly before guiding me to the nursery. 

We walk down the hallway and I walk through the doorway into the lavender scented room. I gasp and clutch Harry's hand tightly. 

"Harry it's...so beautiful!" I choke out, tears clouding my vision. 

The room is painted a soft shade of yellow which could be mistaken for white or even tan. One wall, which is where the white crib is placed, is painted an Ombre of colors going from dark orange all the way to a light shade of yellow. 

The wall has painted on clouds with a sun painted on it. 

Next to the crib is a diaper changing station that has a yellow cover that is soft to the touch. It has shelves on it where diapers and baby wipes are placed. On the walls they're are shelves too with small woven buckets that have pacifiers, blankets, and baby cloths in them.

Next to the crib there's a rocking chair that has a basket of stuffed animals sat next to it. Next to the rocking chair is where a bookcase is sat, books slowly getting added to it. 

There's a dresser that I open and see baby clothes neatly folded. In smaller cabinets there's socks and baby gloves. 

On top of the dresser are pictures of ultrasounds. There's a mirror that is hung above the dresser. 

In the closet is where all the other baby clothes, diapers are stashed. Along with a stroller, a baby mat, and other things we bought- some of which I don't remember getting. 

A small chandelier hangs form the ceiling for light. But most of the light comes from the window that is across the room. There's a essential oil diffuser that sits on one of the smaller tables. 

It's absolutely perfect.

"Everything is bolted to the wall so it won't ball, and everything is baby proof," Harry points out, my view changing to how all the corners are covered and everything seems to not move at all. 

"Harry looked up every smell that babies apparently like and helps them sleep better and got all of the scents," Niall says, pulling out a small container with oils and other scents. 

"Thank you, Haz. So much, this is amazing," I say, hugging me tightly. He strokes my cheek, kissing my forehead with delicacy. 

"Still here," Niall butts in, with a solemn face. 

"Thank you too Niall," I say. He smiles back at me. 

"I also want to talk about something else with you," Harry says, following me towards the window. "We need to tell our family soon."

"Yeah, I know," I sigh "I've been thinking about it too. We've been just so busy," 

"I was hoping this Saturday?" He suggests. "I mean you are already 24 weeks, they need to know."

"That's fine, I don't think I'm doing anything," I reply. 

"Lou, you ready to go to class yet? We're going to be late," Niall asks, coming back into the room. 

"Yeah, let me grab my things and then we can leave. I need to talk to my professor about taking classes online," I say. 

"Have fun," Harry calls to me.

"yeah, yeah. You work on calling our family- we have a lot to prepare for," I say, teasing him. 

Thinks seem to be turning up, at least I think so. Now all I have to prepare for is the telling of the family. We need all the time we can get, and that's going to go by quick. 

To be continued...