Heart To Heart

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"So..." Edwardo shifted his hips a little further out so his body didn't accidentally ruin the moment.

"So...?" Michael echoed.

"Michael, you know I'm sorry for hurting you, right?"

"I know."

"And how the last thing I ever want to do is hurt you again, right?"

Michael didn't respond right away. Thinking about what happened still left a sour taste in his mouth, and he knew this whole thing was supposed to clear the air, but he still dreaded talking about it.

"Eddie, I've been doing a lot of thinking since that night, and even more thinking since your brother sent me that video. I mean, I'm still kind of mad, and I'm definitely hurt, but I can also see why you did what you did. I mean, I've been kicked around by all that 'heteronormativity' crap too."

"You... have?" Edwardo seemed genuinely surprised. Michael always seemed so confident to him.

"Well of course I have! It's not like the average middleclass family goes around testing all their children to see if any of them are alpha or omega. And they're certainly not going to bother testing their boy child to see if they're omega. And... well... kids can be cruel sometimes, when they don't know any better..."

Edwardo couldn't help the tight feeling in his chest. "Were you bullied a lot as a kid...?"

"Of course I was!" Michael raised his voice indignantly, like it should have been obvious. "All I'm saying is, I understand that pressure to conform to a certain standard too."

The silence that followed was awkward. It wasn't like Michael exactly planned on unloading that, but there was something about this whole situation, this whole setup. This space felt incredibly safe. He couldn't see Edwardo's face, and Edwardo couldn't see his, and Edwardo's smell was everywhere and well, maybe Ryan was right when he said talking like this worked. He could hear Essie suddenly start snoring softly. It was all so peaceful.

"Hey Michael," Edwardo finally asked after a while, "What do you think the 'perfect alpha' is supposed to be like?

"Realistically or ideally?"

"Maybe ideally first."

Michael thought a second. "Well, I'd say ideally the perfect alpha is supposed to be some billionaire CEO in charge of some multi-national company, with an Adonis-like body, sour attitude, and the bad habit of throwing money at all his problems. At least, that's how you usually see them in movies and TV."

"Oh." Edwardo realized he fit very few of those conditions. "So, what about your ideal alpha?"

"If you asked me when I was a kid, that's probably the answer I would have given."

"And now?"

Money and looks are nice, but kindness is more important I think. My perfect alpha would be the kind who would have just as much fun walking around the city taking pictures together as he would if we went and did something expensive. He would get flustered when I teased him, and would always be happy to see me, and would have a gorgeous set of eyebrows. But above all," and Michael emphasized the last part, "he would be honest.

Edwardo managed to feel a little physical pain at the word honest. "I've promised you, no more lies."

"And that's why you're getting a second chance."

There was another slightly awkward stretch of silence. Michael had a nagging suspicion he hesitated to ask about, but both Ryan and Scott assured him talking about those kinds of things was very important when it came to maintaining a healthy relationship.

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