Northern Lights: The Druid of Black Lake

Chapter 12

I spent the next few days in a haze wondering around the pack house. I wasn't really aware of myself. I tried to keep busy with various tasks like helping out in the kitchen, bringing Michael his tea, researching herbs in the library. It was coming up to the middle of May. The spring air was fresh with faint smells of flowers. I took to exploring the close grounds of the pack house on my own, shifting into my wolf and going for runs to escape my own thoughts. I didn't feel any different, but since our meeting with the werebears I often caught myself touching my stomach absentmindedly.

Clark knew something was off about me, but he didn't push too much. I avoided the conversation by avoiding him. I am sure he was hurt by that, but I wasn't ready to talk about it yet. I was coming up to my nineteenth birthday in July. I knew he wanted to celebrate it with me, but I couldn't bring myself to plan anything like that. The words Rose told me repeated over and over in my head like a mantra. By the time I was celebrating my birthday I would be hurting from the loss of this supposed child I was carrying. It felt as though there wasn't much to celebrate.

I had put in a request with Cheryl for some pregnancy tests to come in on the May supply plane. I begged her to keep that information to herself, she agreed only if I told her what was going on. I had to tell her about my conversations with Rose. Cheryl was supportive, hugged me and told me everything would be alright. I had asked her if there was a chance the Gamma was mistaken, she had said there is always a chance, but probably not.

When the plane was unloaded Cheryl brought me the test in a small bag full of our usual monthly toiletries. I was grateful she didn't make a big deal about it. I moved quickly to our bedroom, went to the bathroom and locked the door. I took the pregnancy test and waited for the results. It felt like five minutes took about three lifetimes. I started at myself in the mirror, willing myself to call for Clark but I didn't. I had to hold it together.

When I finally turned the test over, it read positive and a ball felt like it dropped into my stomach. I started to cry. Suddenly I heard Clark on the other side of the bathroom door, "Charlotte, what's wrong?!"

I threw the test across the room and sunk to the floor, I started to rock back and forth, unable to stand. Clark broke the door down and picked me up from the floor. He brought me to our bed, wrapping me up in his body and held me close. I hung on to his chest like my life depended on it, as though I couldn't live without him. I couldn't talk yet; my body could only respond it deep sobs.

"Charlotte, darling you are scarring me, what is it?" he begged, I could feel his sobs start to form. I chocked out, "I'm pregnant." He scoffed, looking down at me but I didn't meet his gaze. I felt his heart sink in his chest, "You are sad that you are having a child with me?"

I shook my head, pulling his face to mine, "No, I am sad because this baby isn't going to make it." He stared down at me, shock on his face.

"What do you mean? How do you know that?" he cried out, almost angry that I would suggest it. I buried my face in his chest again, "Rose told me." I continued to sob, not able to say more then that. Clark cried with me, holding me as close as possible. We stayed like that for hours. Tabitha brought us my mother's mushroom and camomile tea at some point, leaving it for us on the dresser. At some point I fell asleep in his arms, him in mine.

Michael knocked on the door around supper time and brought us in some rabbit stew with bread. We ate it and returned to our bed, holding each other. We were no longer crying, but we could feel the sadness bouncing between us back and forth. I looked up into Clark's face, he met my eyes with his own despair.