Chapter Thirty

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Louis' Pov.
A few hours into the party and Harry and I had gotten separated, I suppose it doesn't matter. He was piss drunk anyway. Did that stop me from looking for him? Not a chance.

There were a few people from school that I recognized here too, but I think most of these people were college students. I saw a head of curly hair in the crowd of people dancing, and I was about to make my way to it when I felt a hand tap me on the shoulder. I turned to see Harry standing there. Well I guess he found me instead.

"H-hey Lou- let's dance!" He was a slurring, hiccuping mess. He grabbed my hand and started pulling me farther into the crowd of people dancing. I tried to pull my hand away but he intertwined our fingers. Before I knew it he was facing me, pressed against me, swaying around to the music.

"Come on- on Lou! Have fun!" He yelled over the music. He locked his arms around my neck and started swaying me with him.

"Harry this isn't a good idea! Can't I just take you home?" We had to shout over the music, I could hardly hear my own thoughts it was so loud.

"No! Come on just dance for a little while!" Harry pouted at me.

And so we did, I danced with him for maybe ten minutes until I decided it was time to leave.

"Harry, come on. We've danced, now we need to leave." Harry groaned and pressed closer to me, hooking his hands behind my neck. He ended up stumbling into me a bit and I put my hands on his hips to steady him. He leaned up close to my face, putting his mouth to my ear.

"We c-can't leave. Not until I do this-" Harry hiccuped. Before I had time to question him i felt warm lips on my own. He was hesitant at first, but then he gained more confidence, pushing his lips to mine harder.

This was wrong, Harry was drunk. So drunk. If I kissed him back, I would be taking advantage of him. I'm not that type of person.

Before I had the chance to decide whether to kiss him back or not, he pulled away. There was an embarrassed grimace on his face.

"I'm- sorry.." He slurred. He looked upset now, probably because I didn't respond to his lip-lock.

"It's alright Harry, why don't we just get you home?" Harry nodded at my suggestion, leaning into my side as we made our way out of the crowded party. Once we were outside Harry was able to walk a bit better. He had his arms wrapped around his middle, I could tell he was cold.

"You want my jacket?" I asked, getting ready to take it off.

"No. It's fine." He slurred back. He was walking- more like stumbling- a few feet ahead of me. I figured I should give him his space.

"What were you talking about earlier?" Harry turned to look at me. He had an almost, desperate? Yeah, desperate. He had an almost desperate look in his eye as he asked the question.

"What are you talking about?"

"When you said you wanted to show me I had things to live for. Who? Or what, were you going to show me?" Ah, that. I sighed before replying.

"That was a spur of the moment thing. I just wanted you to last the night if I'm being honest. Obviously there are things you should live for, but at the end of the day that isn't what your life is about. You should be alive because you want to live. You should continue because you are valuable to yourself. Not because your death might affect other people. It's about you, not them. Not me." Harry looked deep in thought, well at least as deep as you can be in thought when your shit-faced.

"I don't want to hurt myself again. I-it was a mistake." He hiccuped. I smiled lightly at that.

"I believe you." Harry offered a smile to the ground, but I know it was meant for me.
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When we arrived at Harry's house his mom and Robin's car were both back in the driveway. Guess we had to be quiet getting inside.

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