𝑆𝐴𝑉𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝐷𝑅𝐴𝐶𝑂 𝑀𝐴𝐿𝐹𝑂𝑌

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑𝟑 - 𝐠𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞 𝐯𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

"Yes?" she asked, somewhat occupied. I bet she wished for whatever this was to take as little time as possible. Everyone had better things to do today.

"Nothing..." I ended up saying.

She narrowed her eyes.

I pulled myself up and started getting dressed.

Like every time Christmas is near, the teachers were in a good mood and so were the students. There was anticipation hovering in the classrooms and some unwillingness for serious work from both parties. Before lunch, Professor Sprout wished us happy holidays by dismissing us early and to everyone's delight, our double Potions were reduced to one hour so that Professor Slughorn could continue the preparations for tonight's Christmas Slugparty.

The sun was full down by 5 o'clock and as I made my way to an early dinner, the castle lit up with glistening lights at once. Everything in the Great Hall had a warm tone to it, some reddish hue that matched the Christmas trees. It smelled of pine; like the forest had moved into the Hall. There were more candles floating over us. For most of us that were heading home tomorrow morning, it was the last dinner of 1996 in Hogwarts and so it was almost a celebration.

I noticed Neville in some lonely corner, eating his dinner while reading his Herbology book; a usual pastime for him.

"Hello..." I said and sat beside him. He smiled and motioned to his right.

"Hello! I'm very excited for tonight. You're going to the party tonight, right? Well, I wasn't invited but Professor Slughorn needed some extra hands, so I offered to help. Luna is going to be there too; did you know? Bad luck. I asked Ginny earlier and she said she didn't know but then I asked Harry and he said she is his date for tonight. I almost wished she wouldn't come because Professor Slughorn gave us special uniforms for tonight and I think I look ridiculous in it but it was too late to back off. I don't know... I think our mission has failed."

"Well, you should have accepted my invitation, Neville..." I said.

I knew from the first moment that I wasn't going to go with the guy I secretly wanted and bringing a friend was the more realistic idea. Neville had declined the invitation and I was suspecting that it was because he didn't want to let it be even remotely insinuated that he had somewhat of a romantic date with me, in fear that it might put Luna off. It seemed to me, however, that Neville had put too much thought into it for his own good and that Luna was, as usual, in her own world.

And Neville talked and talked and didn't care to breathe between the pauses. Neville was an overthinker, so no one would have much luck when trying to comfort him. Whenever I tried to calm him down, he could burst out with another well-thought reason to be anxious. I soon swallowed my tongue and let him vent out his anxiety. Sometimes it was better this way because Neville hardly ever got to talk about his feelings. If he ever expressed them, it was better to nod and simply understand. He could be the best listener but maybe this was the wrong day.

In any case, it seemed like a sign that I shouldn't speak about my own situation.

When Neville finished his rant, he got up quickly and said he was already late for Slughorn. I was left on the Gryffindor table alone and numb.

I felt something icy sitting on my nose.

I looked up. I could see slow snowflakes falling over my head. Was the ceiling imitating too much snow? Had it become too realistic?

In my idle questions, I noticed I was clenching my wand too tightly, a sign of anxiety. I let the wand go and the snow stopped at once.

I was never too good of a witch, or rather, I was a very controlled one. There weren't many instances of involuntary magic scattered throughout my childhood. Mum said that my magic was my dancing, that when I danced I could cast a spell on anyone. Dad said that I put all my energy into ballet and so there was nothing left for impulsive. He was sure my gifts would show over time. I ended up thinking that I just wasn't that talented – which only made me doubt my choice to leave the muggle world behind when the time came.