𝑆𝐴𝑉𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝐷𝑅𝐴𝐶𝑂 𝑀𝐴𝐿𝐹𝑂𝑌

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟑𝟑 - 𝐠𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞 𝐯𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧

╭────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────╮

Hey. Sorry. I'm back. Here are 7535 words to make up.

⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼⎼

𝐎

December 20th, 1996

Dear Margot,

I'm not much of an emotional person and I hardly ever let myself actually cry. I've had some breaking points since last summer but I imagine it should be expected of me after what happened.

I think I'm holding too many things back nowadays, so much so that I feel a tightening inside my chest all the time. It's in moments like these that I should be crying but even when I purposefully sit in front of the mirror and try to squeeze the tears out of me, nothing comes out.

I guess I'm not meant for much emotional display...

I woke up from a dream – or was it just a noise? In any case, I was left sleepless in my dorm after this sudden awakening, staring at the canopy. It was Friday and the last day of school before the winter break. In the evening, professor Slughorn would host a cocktail Christmas party, so I figured I needed some extra sleep.

I swallowed a mild sleeping draught. Nothing.

If I were back in London, I would have already called Margot, woke her up in the middle of the night to tell her all about Draco. Or maybe I would have even waited till dawn so that I could take the bus to her house. Then she would comfort me and tell me that we couldn't talk about something this important without a coffee. First, we would go to Leadenhall Market, to the Coffee Bean, where either Mum or Linus would make us an Apple Cinnamon Latte and then we would walk all the way to the banks of the River Thames. We would make our way towards Westminster Abbey and we would sit on a lonely bench with our feet crossed. And then I would fall into her arms and I would tell her all about that boy that I liked.

But that was before and either I wouldn't be interested in anyone but her, or if I were, she would swallow her jealousy and keep on comforting me. At the end of her day, Margot's advice was always Margot's advice.

If Margot was here, I would have someone to talk to, which was more important than the advice itself. I enjoyed my friends and loved them but nothing could be replaced by the unfiltered energy that flew from both of us.

I was alone.

I needed someone to talk to.

Morning came and Maya yawned awake.

"Morning..." she muttered when she saw that I was already awake.

I must have looked tense. Maybe it was the tapping of my fingers on the blanket or the dark undereyes. Maya squinted but didn't seem to care more than just a little bit. She pushed herself out of bed with a jump, the way she always does in the mornings to persuade herself that she is full of energy. It seems to be working for her. I heard her sing in the shower.

She was in a good mood. Anyone would be, with Christmas and yet another party soon approaching. She came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel and ready to put on her uniform and opened her eyes wider when she saw me still in bed, yet wide awake. By this time, I would normally have been down in the Common Room with the first cup of coffee for the day at hand.

"Maya?" I said with a deep sigh.

She turned around to face me with an inquisitive look. We never said more than what was necessary, much less before I'd had my coffee. Could I interest her in a little chit-chat? She owed me one – or a hundred. I had lent her the room one too many times and even kept my mouth shut when she first got with Blaise – the secret relationship of the year that was (little did Hogwarts know).