You found me | Bughead

05: After sun goes up

Jughead:

After we ended up in our apartments and I fell asleep, I wake up hearing screams. They come near and it's
Not hard to guess where. Betty.

I put my jeans quickly on and run to the hall. No one is there, not a surprise, it's night. I knock her door, I knock louder and faster. "Betty! Betty! Are you alright? Please open the door," I yell desperately. Silence.

Sun is rising, the light in the hallway is like gold and orange. It must be four or five o'clock. I knock again and shout her name. Finally, I hear steps.

She opens the door face flushed, red, wet. But she is there. With my old t-shirt on. My mouth drops wide open. Is this real? And what's wrong? "I'm sorry I woke you up. Nightmare," she says with heavy breathes and those teary, green eyes.

"Can I come in?" I ask hoarsely. I'm confused how I should act and if I'm nervous or not. "Yeah?" she isn't sure but I think she knows she needs someone so she lets me in.

"Your t-shirt?" I have to ask, I'm curious. Her cheeks burning more. "Oh. Fuck. Shit. It is just.. Cosy and soft.." she looks down and realizes something else "Wait, I have no pants. I need to get some." She is pulling the t-shirt down to hide her panties. Like I care that now.

She looks cute though, like that, with my shirt, no pants, messy hair. And sexy. What the fuck is happening to me? Oh my god there is bigger problems now!

"You wanna talk about it?" I ask and look around her place. Very similar than mine, brighter colours though. I'm almost sure that she doesn't wanna talk. She shakes her head. "It's nothing. Just work stuff," she says just like I assumed. I don't believe her saying it's nothing. Nobody screams like that because of little things. "Really? You screamed pretty hard," so I try. "Well I work for the FBI. Our stuff can be little hard," she is stubborn as hell and not going to tell me anything.

I stand up from where I just sat and walk back to door slowly. I don't wanna push her to tell anything, we literally just met after seven years, she'll tell me if or when she is ready. I hope she is one day, I don't know if she has many people in her life, friends I mean. "Alright. Maybe I just go then, if you are okay," I tell her even I'm not sure I want to, I lean to the door already. "Yeah.. or can you stay?" her voice is only a whisper but it's there.

I can tell she is not okay. Her chest goes up and down really fast, her eyes are glossy and red and I think she is shivering. Of course I'm staying if she wants. One stupid thing, I don't have a shirt. It feels a bit weird now since we are exes who haven't seen each other in years.

"You don't have more of my clothes? I'm kind of shirtless," I say and I'm little embarrassed. She looks now at my abs and chest, my shirtless body. Quickly but I noticed that. "You can have this, I'll get changed," she says, takes her pajamas and goes to the bathroom.

Oh my. It hits me that in few minutes it's gonna be me wearing my old t-shirt with her scent in it. Even this thought of it and I'm feeling flashbacks and deja vus hitting hard.

. . . . .

Betty:

I got changed in the bathroom and brought the t-shirt to him. I'm little bit embarrassed how he found out about that shirt. Our first day and he knows that. How I was suppoused to know he is coming to my place in the middle of my first night? And he knows my nights too. Fuck. This all makes me nervous.

I'm feeling also like shit after that nighmare. Again. They are like.. like copies of that day. But in the end, nobody rescues me. I just get stuck in there and with those men.

I'm still close to tears and trying to look away from him. I'm really not gonna tell him about these nightmares. I'm sitting on my bed, he is just walking around my place, looking things, being a bit nervous too, I think.

"You want something? Water? I actually have nothing else, I haven't gone by the store yet. I didn't want to see anyone yesterday," I ask him and explain my empty fridge. "And still you met me, of the all people in the Riverdale. But yeah, I could drink some water, I can find a glass," he smirks a little when he says that and I sigh from the relief, he is joking, this could be easy and okay.

Maybe it wasn't all bad to him to met me. Dare I say..? "I think I saw you at the station," I blurt as I find a courage to tell him that. "I saw you," he surprises me with that. When did he saw me? What was I doing? "You didn't look at me, I saw only your back," I tell him hoping he'd tell me more too. "But when your eyes were closed, I was looking at you," he says. He really said that. "What?" I can only say. He coughs. "I just noticed you quickly, I mean," he corrects himself.

Oh, okay, maybe he didn't see I was a mess. Let's hope that.

I don't know how to talk to him, like small talk things. We covered everything, all light issues already at the bar. I'm scared he'll notice how big, shitty, mess I am. I sit on my bed keeping my head resting my thights and knees. Trying to breathe. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. And I don't want him to see my face. I have this weird feeling he is still good at reading me.

"Should we try to sleep a little?" he asks. "You are right. You can take the couch," I offer but I honestly want him tightly beside me, but asking that, sounds a bit much. But I don't feel good. I'm scared still. "You sure?" he doesn't wanna step on my toes, I can tell he is being careful. But I need him to be little more.. "Yeah, but can you just sit a little while on my bed?" I really need him closer.

Jug comes to the bed and sits, I lay down. I close my eyes and I can feel his hands, he places them carefully on my feet. I can feel the weight of his hands and it calms me down, I can breathe almost normally, I might even get some sleep..

. . . . .

Jughead:

Who would have guessed here I am in the middle of my first night in Riverdale?

I'm sitting on Betty's bed, she looked restless when she laid down and closed her eyes. I placed my hands resting on her feet. I'm afraid to move or stroke her so I just keep my hands laying there. She is even tired or this calms her down, but I can feel her relaxing. Her breathing is more peaceful, she doesn't move around, not a bit.

She is beautiful, when she sleeps. I've seen her like that multiple times, when I woke up early to write and she slept beside me. It was so easy to write when I was with her. Even after we broke up, I wrote well. Maybe because I still was feeling her, in a good way and a bad way. But when the time went by, I lost her from my thoughts and I think I lost talent to write. Or motivation to write. I hope not talent. Can I use her presence now in Riverdale, can I start to write again? Like really write.

I'm a little bit nervous. I mean, this is my ex, my childhood best friend since diapers. Also, I think she is love of my life. It's like there were no years in between us, I feel exactly the same as when in high school. And that kiss and betray, it feels like teenager thing. So stupid little thing. But back then it felt like shit, that she kept it herself like few weeks. She acted like normal, she lied to me. That was the thing that hurt the most. Not that kiss. It was Archie. They both had had fights with me and Ronnie, they were comfortable with each other, like best friends usually are, I get it.

But how do we fix this? How do we become friends again?

I think we should talk. We didn't talk back then and it didn't go well. We lost each others and all of our friends.

Betty seems so tense and shy, she is hiding something I can feel it, but she's not gonna talk about it, no yet. She is not the Betty I used to know, who spoke her feelings out. I have a feeling that this is gonna take some time, but I'm willing to take it, I wanna take it. Even if she is available to become just friends and not more. I want my friend back and I want her to be herself again.

But again, where do I begin? How can I make her feel like she can talk to me, open up to me?

I'm tired but can I move from here to the couch? I don't wanna leave her, if she wakes up. But I don't know if she is okay me being here on her bed. Maybe I just lay down for few minutes, definitely not going beside her. If I'm just here, end of the bed. I'm not sleeping, I just keep my eyes closed for a minute..