You found me | Bughead

01: Where to start

Betty

It's a perfect spring day - sun is shining, green everywhere, all the white flowers smell beautiful, birds singing.. Unless your heart is pacing all the time. Like you couldn't rest, you couldn't stop, you just keep running and fearing that someone will catch you, could reach to you.

Clock is five pm when I head home from my office, and for once, this early. I love work, I live for my job, it's all I have. But I admit, in this month, it has been always at this time. No late nights. And this month, it's only month I've been working since everything..

Office is the only one place where my heart rate is close to normal. When I'm in deep down my work stuff. After I got back to work month ago, they unfortunately gave me strict hours. Working 9 to 5.. and every day before work I have early talk with our therapist.

I achieved my dream. I'm trainee at FBI. But in here, after massive accident (you can say that, or catastrophe, or mistake, or whatever shit you like) you can't just start working again. So I'm working cold cases. But it's really better than nothing. I need to work. And that's what I've been doing last seven years. I had those five months out of the office the end of the last year and early this year, but those were the worst. I just slept and ate and drank. I couldn't be awake and do nothing and thinking my sad fucking life. Without work I have nothing.

I'm currently walking (or almost running) to my apartment in Washington. I have lived here almost two years now. I wanna say, it's my home, but I just can't. I've had zero time (or interest) to decorate so it's just place with door, walls, furniture and my stuff. My fridge is empty all the time, I order in. I have coffee, oatmilk, apple juice and snacks. This has been my life for so long. After I got out of Riverdale. Alone.

It hurts still to think about that time of my life. When life wass suppoused to began, when high school was over and studies at university waited.

I think it's still not over. That moment, when we left the town. It's like, there was never a closer.

I just kept myself busy with Yale and then with FBI. I studied very hard in Yale, had some fun with friends there (my roommate and her friends basically). I became wine drinker. At parties and get togethers I mean. But have to say, I needed those wine nights. To forget. So I had lots of wine.

Speaking of.. I'm turning around while walking, need to buy some wine. It's Friday after all and there is a store.

With few bottles of wine in my bag, I'm finally close to my place. First things first. Cosy clothes, glass of wine and some music. I'm thinking should I dance my mind of, watch Netflix, scrolling instagram or.. should I call this fellow trainee guy. With him, we are just two empty souls, with wine, no feelings but lots of spending time naked. He has his problems, we don't talk about them and I don't talk about mine. We are fellows with benefits and we offer distraction of thinking real things.

I take my phone but at that moment it starts to buzz and there is name on the screen I haven't seen there a long time... Veronica Lodge. I place the phone down and thinking not to answer (as I have done last seven years) but accidentally I press green.

"Betty Betty please don't hang up", Veronica almost yells. I'm quiet, I don't know what to say as I feel my cheeks burning from panic. My heart rate must be two hundred. "Betty I miss you. Please", she continues with softer voice, she is begging. Maybe...

I take a deep breathe and answer with a bit shaky voice and teary eyes "Hi Vee". I have to admit, I have really missed her. "So you are alive", she states now calm and continues. "We need to talk".

I'm sobbing and she hears that. "Hey we are okay, we were okay. And still are. If you haven't noticed I've been freaking calling you every six month over these seven years and your mailbox must been full of my mails." She is kind of right. She has done that.