さようなら; 𝑲𝑵𝒀! 𝑼𝑷𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑴𝑶𝑶𝑵𝑺 [✓]

三十三 ;

-ˋˏ さようなら ˎˊ-
( sa-yo-na-ra )
❀┊is used when you are saying
good bye to a person forever ̥◌୭˚.°
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you couldn't do this anymore. even if you wanted to live on, you couldn't. it was physically impossible. kokushibo was right. your entire body was a mess, you were losing way too much blood.

you tried to steady your breathing, taking a deep breath in and slowly exhaling. a small pool of blood was starting to form around you as you were seated on the wooden floor, leaning against a wall for support.

was it really true? was akaza dead? if you were right, he was fighting against tanjiro and giyuu. then was douma dead too?

you let out a pained grunt, head starting to hurt, vision blurring. "this sucks..." you muttered, to no one in particular.

you heard footsteps nearing you. forcing your head up, you stared at the two figures approaching you.

"[y/n]..?" his voice was laced with concerned as he ran towards you. "[y/n]! oh my god, what happened?!" tanjiro stared at you in shock, eyes filled with pain at seeing you in this state.

"i'm dying," you gave him a smile, letting out a choked laugh. you didn't know why you were laughing, honestly there was nothing funny about this.

"no way... you can't die like that... no no wait ah... giyuu-san we need to help her-"

"no," was the water pillar's simple answer.

"h-huh? why not?!" tanjiro yelled, staring up at giyuu.

"she was going to die either way... i really don't care about the rules most of the time and i would let her go, but she has crossed the line," giyuu explained, "leaking such vital informations to muzan, helping him kill oyakata-sama. it's all too much, she was going to get executed anyway."

"but..." tanjiro's voice trailed off. he knew what you did was wrong, but he wasn't the slightest bit mad at you. the whole time, he just wanted to help you.

you were such a nice person when he first met you, you had such a comfortable and calm aura. but it slowly disappeared after kyojuro's death. but despite how much he knew you were struggling to keep up, you still helped them defeat upper moon six.

tanjiro just didn't want to look at you as the bad guy here. even now, he still didn't understand what you were thinking when you went to side with the demons.

your feelings and emotions were everywhere. a complete mess.

sadness, anger, guilt and happiness. he sensed all those emotions from you, but he didn't understand why.

why were you sad? it didn't look like you were upset that you were dying. anger? at who? were you angry at him and giyuu? the pillars? ubuyashiki? guilt? were you regretting what you did, or were you guilty for not being able to help your friends? happiness. he didn't understand, you were dying but you were happy.

"[y/n]... why... why did you do what you did..?"

your vision was getting so blurry, you could barely make out tanjiro's face, despite him kneeling right in front of you. his voice was fading in and out, your head was spinning.

"_______________," you answered in a soft voice.

your first mistake - you just wanted to be friends with kurai, you knew it was against the rules, but your friendship with him wasn't even effecting the demon slayer corps.

but then again, it seems like ubuyashiki had some kind of grudge against kurai.

your second mistake - you messed up even further by hanging out with akaza. the demon that killed kyojuro. why were you even hanging out with him? shouldn't you be hating him? instead, you felt as if the hole left in you was filled whenever he was around you. you couldn't hate him. instead, you felt the opposite.

your third mistake - you went ahead and got attached to upper moon two. you had to admit, you weren't very fond of him at first. but he was genuinely such a nice and fun demon to be around. you knew he was incapable of feeling human emotions and would fake everything, but there were times where you felt like he genuinely cared. he really reminded you of kurai. maybe that's why you got attached. they had similar personalities.

your fourth mistake - kokushibo. upper moon one. seriously, you don't even know how this happened. sure it was hard being around him for the first few days, he really scared you. but he was honestly a really calm and reasonable demon. not to mention, he was always looking out for you, you never really noticed it before, but he was actually trying to help you out.

your fifth mistake - exposing the demon slayers and ubuyashiki to muzan. sure, that was really a shitty thing to do. but you only did that because kurai got taken away from you. and you felt like it would only be fair if the pillars had something taken away from them as well. or else, you would be the only one suffering. you were selfish.

all those mistakes had lead to your death. and you didn't know how to feel about it. if you were given another chance, if you could go back in time, before all this happened. would you have made the same decisions?

"ah... i'm so stupid..." you whispered out. of course you would do it again. you didn't regret a single thing you did in the pass year.

"please don't say that, i'm sure you had your reasons..." tanjiro stated, tears brimming in his eyes.

"why are you crying?" you asked, "shouldn't you hate me."

"no... i just hate myself so much right now... i could have done something to help you..."

"well, even if you did... i wouldn't listen to a single shit you said..."

"yeah, i figured," tanjiro gave you a sympathetic smile.

you felt your body going number every second that passes. and tanjiro knew, you were dying any time now.

gently taking your bloodied hand in his warm ones, he gave you that kind smile that always seemed to brighten up your day back when you two were still working together.

"i hope you find kurai again in your next life."

your vision blurred again, but this time, it was because of the tears. you didn't understand how tanjiro could still be so nice to you despite everything you have done.

you gave him a genuine smile, "thank you..." you forced out, blood spilling out of your pale lips. your eye lids felt heavy as they slowly closed. tears slowly trailing down your face. as you slowly went unconscious, you heard his soft voice speaking to you one last time.

"good bye."

next chapter :
welcome back
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might update again today :3