Not A Chance.

Ten

TW: panic attack

Amaiah Evans

My eyes slowly flutter open and the sun creeps through my blinds as I squint. I attempt to move to get up to fix them but I feel strong arms wrapped around me. Luke. I smile. He stayed.

I try to gently move his arms away from me, but his grip just tightens. I try to sit up and I can hear him groan

"Stop moving" Luke still has his eyes closed.

"I need to fix the blinds, it's too bright"

"Just put your head in my chest and then you won't see it. It's a Saturday and way too early so you're gonna stay right here in my arms. Got that?" Luke is now slightly peaking at me.

"If you insist, pretty boy" I try to act against it.

I turn my body and he loosens his grip so I can get comfortable. I snuggle my face into his chest, which I now realize is bare. Luke once again tightens his grip around my waist and shoves his face into the crook of my neck.

"Sweet dreams, Ames" Luke whispers, his hot breath crawling down my neck sends shivers down my spine.

"Night Patterson" I whisper back.

But I couldn't sleep. The events of last night still running through my head.

Jason.

How the fuck did he find me? I used to live in Maine. We moved across the whole fucking country and he still found me. My breathing starts to get unsteady as my anxiety picks up.

Does he know where I live? Was he following us? Does my dad know? Does my mom know he's here? Did he talk to her? Is my dad trying to find us? What is he going to do when he does? What is Jason going to do? Did he follow me and Luke?

Luke.

He saw me at my lowest. I don't like when people see my weak side. He knows. He's going to tell everybody and they're all gonna laugh at you. He knows you're weak. You're so pathetic. He doesn't care about you, he never will. He's just trying to win a bet.

I'm now hyperventilating, no longer in control of my actions. I abruptly sit up and start yanking at my hair, a nervous tick I picked up when I was trying to stop myself from having a panic attack. It never works.

"Ames, I said stop moving" Luke grunts and tries to pull me back down without looking up. When I don't budge he slightly nudges me "Ames?" Now he peaks his head up from the bed.

"Shit, not again. I'm so sorry Ames, I didn't realize" Luke's now sitting up with me.

You're such a burden. No one wants you here. The boys hate your guts. You're so annoying. Stop bothering everyone with your problems. They don't care. Luke doesn't care. He doesn't care about you. He never will. He's just trying to win a bet.

"Ames? Hey, look at me. I'm right here" he tries to turn my head but I resist him "why won't you look at me?"

Because you don't care.

I just shake my head and shove my face into my knees as hot tears stream down my face. I can't let him see me like this, not again.

You're so pathetic. You're worthless. It would be so much better if you didn't exist. Luke's so annoyed with you. He hates you. He's just trying to win a bet.

My chest tightens. At this point I can't breathe. I'm gasping for air while tears pour out of my eyes.

"Ames! Shit shit shit. Hey, you're okay, I just need you to look at me" I don't move "I said..." Luke grabs each side of my face with both of his hands and forces it out of its previous position "...look at me. Just keep your eyes on me"

I shake my head and try to look away but he holds me there.

"Why are you resisting me? Did I do something?" I still can't breathe, let alone speak. I just shake my head "Ames, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere"

Luke pulls me onto his lap, holding my gaze, and my face in his hands.

I let out a sob "Shhh, you're okay bub. I'm right here. Just focus on me, yeah?" I nod a little and let out a shakey breath.

He's just trying to win a bet. He's just trying to win a bet. He's just trying to win a bet. He's just trying to win a bet. He's just trying to win a bet. He's just trying to win a bet.

The voice in my head won't shut up.

"You wanna hear something funny? The other day when we were waiting for you by your locker and Reggie kept trying to guess the code to Alex's. The funny part was, he wasn't even using the right amount of numbers but none of us told him. He was so focused on trying to get it. I kinda feel bad for letting him go so long. But then you came and he got all happy again. That boy really admires you, you're like a little sister to him. He'd do anything for you. You should've seen how pissed he was with that Jason dick" A soft smile appears on my lips.

Maybe they do care...

"There's that smile" Luke wipes away my tears with his thumb and tucks a stray piece of hair behind my ear.

Luke Patterson

God, her smile. I swear I've never seen anything so perfect. Even when she's sad she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. She's so fucking gorgeous. I just want her to be mine.

I just wish I never made that stupid ass bet.

"Luke?" Amaiah croaks out.

"Yeah Ames?" I caress her cheek with my thumb.

"Thank you. For everything"

"Of course. I'm not the only that'd do anything for you"