The new teacher, Ms Blanchett.. (femXfem)

■chapter 19■

Tw: self-harm

"Well, at least I don't cut myself while feeling bad"

"Jess? What do you mean?" Anna's brows furrowed on confusion,her gaze flickering between me, Harry and Jessica.

"Ha, you didn't know, someone in here are cutting themselves" She mocked. I understood that the alcohol made her like this, but I could still feel the sweat beeding on my forehead.

"What? Who?" She asked, her voice growing louder and more stressed.

"Guess. It's not me, it's not you, and we know that Harry doesn't do it" She kept slurring, I had to clench my fists to keep me from hitting her.

"Wh- Hanna?" Harry gasped, he got up from the couch and suddenly stood before me. "Hanna, is it- have you, please tell me she's lying" He stuttered, I'd never seen him this emotional, and that alone almost made me cry.

"I'm nott lyyingg" Jess shrieked before throwing up again. "Oh god" Anna said, crying, while helping Jessica.

"Hanna?" Harry said in a serious tone, I kept my gaze down. "Look at me" he demanded. I reluctantly did, without breaking the eye contact he gently grabbed my wrist, I stiffened a little, giving him the answer he feared.

He slowly pulled my sleeve up, letting out a silent gasp as he did so. "No, no, no Han...why?"

I couldn't speak, I fell completely silent looking back down and trying to hold my tears. "Hanna" Anna demanded, "please tell us, why?"

"I- I don't, I can't feel shit... I'm numb, I'm basically dead on the inside, I need to feel something. Isn't that why you do drugs?" I turned to Harry, "or why you always get shit-faced drunk of minor inconvenience?" I turned to Jessica.

"We all have different ways to cope, and neither of us have healthy ones, so stop blaming me when you do the same!" I ranted, I then closed my eyes to hide from their scared expressions.

"We're not blaming you Hanna, but, why didn't you tell us something was wrong?" Anna spoke softly, not wanting to upset me even more.

"I didn't think you would understand, or know what to do. I was scared you would leave me behind" I confessed, it wasn't all true, but I didn't lie, I was scared, and I knew that they wouldn't know how to help me.

"Does Cate know?" Harry asked.

"Of coourse.. they've fucked sooo many times.. she obv-iously knooww" Jess kept slurring and Anna decide to help her to her room and let her sleep.

"That's true though" I chuckled, "She knows"

"But, then she must be able to help you" Harry said.

"Yeah, and she helps me, but an addiction doesn't leave that easy, and I have so many struggles that's she helps me with okay."

"Okay, but, please, tell us if something is wrong" Anna pleaded.

"I will" no, probably not. "I should go home" I stated blankly. Taking my bag , but Anna grabbed my arm, making me flinch.

"Shit sorry, uhm, please stay"

I swallowed hard and nodded, and she took the chance and hugged me.
"I don't wanna leave you alone, not now" She shaked her head and buried it into my hair. I still didn't say a thing, I didn't trust my voice neither did I have anything to say.

"We love you Hanna, remember that" Harry tried, but when he met my eyes I immediately closed his mouth and gazed down.

"I will never leave you" Anna whispered in my ear, "I love you, and I will help you through this" She pulled back and with glossy eyes she searched for mine.

I opened my mouth but before I got the chance to say anything Anna cut me off. "Let's just all go to sleep, we'll take the spare room" She grabbed my hand and led me there.

"I can stay on the couch!" Harry shouted.

I changed into the clothes I packed, a hoodie and leggings, and crawled into bed. Soon Anna laid next to me.

"Wanna cuddle?" She chuckled, I smiled and nodded, she turned and I put my arm around her waist.

"Good night, Hanna"

"Night"

***

The next day I woke up at 5.15 am, but I couldn't get up. I wanted nothing more than to fall asleep again, but that never happened. At 8.10 Anna woke up, and I quickly pretended to be asleep, because I feared that day.

Would Jess remember anything? What will Harry say? It's going to be the most awkward morning encounter ever.

"Han, I know that you're awake" Anna spoke softly, rubbing my arm.

"Mhm, morning" I mumbled.

"We can stay in bed a while, Jess will sleep forever, and I do not really care about Harry right now. How are you?" She turned me around so we faced each other.

"I'm tired"

"When did you wake up?"

"At five" I chuckled.

"But you fell asleep at like 1 or 2 am" She furrowed her brows.

"Yeah, whatever, I can't sleep right now that's for sure"

"Hanna?" She put one hand on my cheek. Her hazel eyes glanced down for a second.

"What is it?" I asked, my heart threatening to beat out of my chest.

"I- I'm, please stay. Please, don't kill yourself, I need you" She whispered, struggling to get her words out and blinking away a tear.

"I'm trying Anna, I'm trying"

"I know but- can I, I- Sorry"

She pulled me closer and captured my lips, kissing me softly and loving. I completely froze, my brain screamed at me to pull back, but I didn't. Eventually I kissed her back, before the thought of Cate reminded me of what I was doing.

I panicked and pulled back, looking at Anna with wide eyes.

"I'm sorry, I- I'll go home now" She stuttered, got changed and grabbed her stuff.

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A/n

Okay that's a chapter..
And I have posted the first 2 parts of my Ocean's 8 fanfic, if you want to, please read it <3
Thank you for reading <3