"𝗪𝗲'𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗴𝗲𝘀" - 𝗞𝘂𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗻

"Page 20"

🛸Song recommendation:
i want you to help me live - Bonjr

- flashback -

When Kuroo got the message, he was in college.
He was sitting in the classroom, waiting for the lecture to start.

Kenma had gone home early that day, because he had less lessons and some appointments - or at least that was what he had texted Kuroo.

Kuroo was joking around with some of his friends, when his phone rang.

He took a step away from his friends and picked up, the smile on his face not being able to be overheard.
"Hey Kenma. I'm supposed to be in class right now, but you're more important, huh?

"Kuroo? Can you come home?", Kenma whispered from the other side of the line.

He didn't even have to say anything. Kuroo's heart knew before his head did and the realization made his knees shake, a cold hand clenching around his insides.
"Where are you?"

"I'm at home right now. But I don't know for how long yet."
Kenma sounded surprising stable. No, not stable, more numb. Like he couldn't comprehend reality.

If Kuroo was honest, he couldn't either.
"I'm on my way."

He started running without telling anyone the reason and he often asked himself how he managed to not break down in that moment.

The sadness and panic only overran him when he had stopped driving, when Kenma opened the door and stared at him with glassy eyes.

They somehow made it to the bed before Kuroo collapsed, sobbing and screaming like a dying child.
But he wasn't the one threathing to die.

Kenma held him until Kuroo pulled him in as if he could protect him with his body, but Kenma never made a single noise, just stared into nothingness.

It only took a week until Kenma got so weak he had to be transfered to the hospital.
Kuroo skipped his lectures for weeks - and if he attended any, his thoughts were far away, with the boy in the hospital bed.

Kuroo tried to keep Kenma as occupied as possible, spending all their times with board games and dumb TV shows.
But he always felt like his boyfriend wasn't even there with him.

After a few weeks it became crucifying.
Kenma had described it to him before, but being there with him was something else entirely.

Kuroo finally had the feeling to really understand why Kenma hadn't wanted to do this to him the first time around.
Still, he was glad to be here.
Or maybe not glad, but there was no way in hell he'd make his boyfriend go through this alone.

Kuroo had promised and he meant it.
Kenma was never going to be alone again.

Most of the time, Kuroo just had to wait.
The chemotheraphy took a long time and after Kenma always slept a lot.

One time, about two weeks ago, Kuroo was just sitting next to Kenma, holding his hand while watching Kenma rest.

"What about him?", he heard a man say right outside the door. He knew that voice well enough by now. The tall doctor who was responsible for Kenma.

"I don't know. Critical I'd say.", another person responded.

Kuroo held his breath as he could feel his throath tighten up.

"Yeah, I think that too. Poor guy, he's still so young.
I don't think he's going to make it."

There was nothing for a moment. The footsteps got quieter and Kuroo was alone again.
Alone in that damn hospital room, the boy of his dreams sleeping peacefully before him.

He tried to prevent it, but for a moment his mind went exactly there: Kenma sleeping, just like all the other times. Just in his mind, he didn't wake up anymore.

A sob escaped his throath and he had to bite his lip until it almost started bleeding.

He was going to see that image everyday when he woke up, staring at the ceiling, trying to somehow get the energy to get him through another day of this nightmare.

Kuroo's gaze travelled back to the boy before him and now couldn't hold the tears at all anymore.
No matter how much he tried, his eyes wouldn't stop watering and at some point he just closed his eyes and laid his head down onto the matress, next to Kenma's hand in his.

How was he supposed to live through this?
How was he supposed to exist without his home?

"Please.", he whispered, a quiet, hurtful cry of an animal in pain. The only thing he could see behind his eyelids was Kenma's face, blank and not opening his eyes.
"Please come back."

Kuroo didn't know how long he sat there, sobbing into the matress, leaving stains of tears.
It must have been an eternity.

It only ended when a small hand began to softly stroke his head, brushing through his hair to calm him down.

For a split second Kuroo would have guessed it was an angel, but when he slowly lifted his head they were Kenma's eyes looking back at him, trying to tell him they had won another day.