"𝗪𝗲'𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝗴𝗲𝘀" - 𝗞𝘂𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗻

"Page 2"

🛸Song recommendation:
forver fifteen - Mothica

He couldn't concentrate.
There was shouting and the sqeaking of sneakers all around him but he couldn't hear the sounds, just Kenma's voice, over and over again.

Karasuno wasn't as bad as they expected but it was still easy for his team to outsmart them.
But he still caught himself making more mistakes than ever before.
A missed ball, a missed cue, reacting too slowly.

Not that it mattered in the end.
They reached 20 points after two breaks while Karasuno was still at 15.

Kuroo barely noticed. He was watching the boy sitting among the crowd and he let his mind wander back to days that were long past.

They started dating when Kuroo was 15. Kenma had always wanted to go to the same school as Kuroo but he had only stayed a few weeks at Nekoma. Because of his parent's job, he had said.

And everything there had ever been broke apart in just one conversation. Kuroo remembered just standing there, his head feeling like it was gonna explode and just nodding along: Yes, Kenma was moving away. Yes, it'd be better if they broke up. Yes, it was gonna be hard to keep in touch.

And he also remembered how he broke down when he was alone, screaming and punching everything in sight because he wanted to do to someone what just had been done to his heart.

After that Kenma had never reached out to him again.

But even the weeks before, he had seemed distant. Kenma had refused to play volleyball at Nekoma even though he was particulary skilled and Kuroo had begged him on his knees.

So he had sat next to the field while Kuroo had practice, playing games and only looking up when it was his boyfriend's turn at playing. He only ever looked up for Kuroo.

But he was watching Shoyo now. His hands in his pockets, his gaze steadily fixed on the red haired dwarf. Was he in love with him? Kuroo doubted he'd ever know.

What he did know though, was that from his side, nothing had changed. He was still feeling like he had been for the past 5 years, maybe more. Just looking at Kenma made his chest clench, like his body couldn't take the beauty - and regret.

"I should let him go.", Kuroo thought. "I should kiss one of those girls and forget about everything I ever wanted."

But he didn't. Of course he didn't.
Kuroo had never been good at letting things rest. And he was even worse at giving up. If he wanted something, he'd fight for it.

And he wanted this idiot that had walked out of his life without hesitating for a second and no explanation - while leaving him in pieces.

Nekoma won against Karasuno 25 - 19.
Kuroo couldn't see if Kenma was cheering or disappointed because he had been rooting for Karasuno or if he was just doing nothing.
His teammates pulled him into a group hug and Kuroo forced himself to smile.

He was walking up and down in the changing rooms while their trainer held his speech and rushed to shower and change clothes after.

He wasn't gonna give up. This time, he was gonna ask for a reason. Moving a few hours away wasn't exactly a good excuse to end a lifelong friendship, a healthy relationship and break contact completely.

If only he wasn't in love with him anymore.

That was Kuroo's only thought as he went to find Kenma and found him sitting outside Karasuno's dressing room. If he wasn't in love anymore, at least he could have talked properly.
Because right now, confronted with those eyes which held everything he ever craved, he couldn't form a sentence.

"I'm moving back again.", Kenma spoke, before Kuroo had a chance to open his mouth.

"Back? So you...you're going to Nekoma?" A simple nod answered his question.
Kuroo could feel anger building inside of him. At Kenma because he seemed so careless, like he or anything they ever had didn't touch him at all.
But mostly at himself because happiness flooded through his vains at the thought of seeing Kenma again.

"Why did you leave?" Kuroo at least managed to speak aloud, though it still sounded like a whimper.
He hated feelings. He had used to adore them, thinking about them like little parts of his soul speaking to him but he had never been good at expressing them out loud.
Because the moment he opened his mouth the tears always already started to take form and being comfortable crying in front of someone happened rarely.
And the past two years feelings just had been reminders of everything he'd lost.

"I told you. My parents had to take the job, Kuroo." Kenma at least met his eyes now. The boy had always been unreadable for everyone but Kuroo, but since that one day the person he had once known better than himself had become a mystery to him, too.

"That's not a reason to throw away everything we built, Kenma. You know it wasn't. You just...disappeared." It had been a snowy day, just like it was now. Of course Kuroo had tried to talk to Kenma after that one conversation - but nothing. It was like they never existed, like everything they were was worthless and had been taken out with the trash, left to rot away.

Kuroo could almost see Kenma reaching for words and pushing them away again, helpless and not knowing what to say.
That just left one possibility.

"You stopped loving me, didn't you?"
He hadn't wanted to believe it. Convinced himself there had to be an explanation, something more to why Kenma could go and leave him so easily.
He had refused to see the obvious.

"I didn't. I-... That's not why I broke up with you, Kuroo." It sounded like an honest answer. But with the tears blocking his vision, Kuroo couldn't even see if Kenma was still looking at him or had turned to the wall, like he had always done when he was lying.

"Why, then?"

"You broke my heart Kenma.", he wanted to say.
"You broke my heart and right now I want to pull you close and let you do it again."

But he couldn't. He couldn't make himself more vunerable than he already was.

"I broke up with you because you chose fame over me."