Euphoria | Sapnap

twenty-two

Sapnap POV.

I felt lost, I didn't know where we were. I'd never been to England before and honestly I had never planned to come here. When Harper asked me to join them for the week I was ready to say no and move on with my life, but then I thought of Ashlyn.

I pictured the way her smile would have fallen a little when she got into the car realising I'm no where to be seen. I thought of how she'd spend the week here with two couples, the loved up couple and the couple who keep denying it. Yet there she would be, on her own.

Sitting here next to her, on the grey couch of our air B&B I was more than happy with my change of mind. The way her face lit up when she noticed me standing behind Harper's car is etched into my mind, it was the only reason I hadn't punched anything yet.

I was certain her family already hate me, who would want there daughter with someone like me.

For all I know she hadn't even told them about me, there is so much more for them to catch up on. After the long flight I couldn't help but feel irritable, but that seemed to have diminished when I got to witness how happy Ashlyn got seeing her family again.

I yearned for that feeling of happiness, there's a lot I would do to be able to feel wanted by my family. My Grandma is the only one who stuck around from my bullshit and I loved her so much for it.

"You could at least look like you're enjoying yourself." Harper's unimpressed voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

I don't answer her but instead flip her off, I didn't want to make a shitty remark and ruin the happiness I know Ashlyn was feeling. From the small smirk playing on her lips I think she was glad in my lack of answer.

"I'm not enjoying myself, let's go to the beach or something." Clay calls from the other side of the room, he was standing with George, who was focused on the screen of his phone.

"Yes! It's such a lovely day and I can show you the most amazing spot." Ashlyn squeezes my hand tightly when she gets excited, her body catapulting upright from its previous slouched position.

I fucking hate the beach.

"I think I'll sit this one out." I can't help the groan that escapes my lips just from thinking about the small grains of sand getting stuck between my toes.

Besides, I was tired from the flight and couldn't think of anything better than sleeping off the left over drugs in my system.

No one answers me, which I didn't mind because I couldn't be bothered to make up a bullshit excuse as to why I didn't want to go.

As they're all putting their shoes on and gathering their bags I hear Ashlyn mumble something under her breath. I didn't bother to ask what she said, I knew damn well she'd just be calling me a dick or something.

The slamming of the door vibrated through the entire house, leaving a ringing sensation in my ear. My grandma had always told me 'if your ear starts ringing, someone's talking about you', I'd always call her stupid and she'd laugh in my face. Something felt odd about this ringing sensation, it continued on despite the door no longer vibrating.

I didn't want to spend this alone time pondering over old memories, I hate shit like that. I pull myself up from the couch and climb the stairs to the second floor, I notice the change in theme when I reach the second floor.

Downstairs was very much your typical modern house, with a colour palette of grey and white. It made me sick, I hate how clean and boring it all looked. The upstairs however was rustic, it was old. I could smell the sea through the brick walls, it was as if the upstairs was an entirely new building.

The red and brown of the bricks were somewhat calming, it felt like a home. The hallway was open, it looked larger than it was, I could tell that any noise made on this floor would be heard by everyone. I would say I'd keep that in mind, but I couldn't give a fuck if everyone heard how good I can make Ashlyn feel.

When I reach the end of the hallway I open the door to where myself and Ashlyn decided to make our room. I wasn't made aware that there would only be 5 bedrooms in the house, but I soon came to realise Harper had done it on purpose so I'd share with Ashlyn. I made out it wasn't okay, but really I was glad I'd get to share with her.

The salty smell in the air only grew stronger the closer I got to the bathroom. I could feel a slight breeze in the room when I lock the door behind me, preparing myself for the cold shower I was about to have.

Being here in the UK I couldn't control what was happening back home, what ever fucked up plans Ace had in store. That terrified me, the pit of my stomach was doing loops and it made me want to throw up. At least I knew she was safe here, she couldn't be hurt if she was miles and miles away from him.

I twist the temperature on the shower to cold and switch it on, instantly the harsh water spits out of the shower head. If I didn't feel so sick I would be admiring the bathroom, there was a huge shower head in the centre of a blue and grey tiled corner.

I turn away from the spacious area and instead stare at the disorientated reflection in front of me. A large golden framed mirror hung from the wall, there where triangular shards of glass making up the mirror, hence the disfiguration in my reflection.

My hair was hanging to one side of my face and I couldn't help but notice the dark bags below my reddened eyes. I looked tired there was no doubt about it, but there was something different. I couldn't see the deep wrinkles that usually rippled across my forehead and in between my eyebrows.

Surprisingly it had been replaced by a indent of smile lines, each side of my mouth.

I focus my attention back to the spitting water, not wanting to dwell on my facial features any longer. Once I've stripped down to nothing I willingly step into the cornered off area, quickly becoming accustom to the piercing water.

I loved showers like this, the cold temperature stopped the sickness in the pit of my stomach. Instead it felt relaxing, I was no longer troubled by what strings Ace could pull, I didn't have to think about anything.

Except her.

She'd always find a way to squirm back to the top of my mind, even when I tried so desperately not to think of her. It's times like this when I wonder why I think of her so much, rollback a few months ago and women wouldn't have meant a single thing to me. Why should they? I was abandoned by every woman I know.

*buzz, buzz*

Just like that my calm state was cut short.

I don't dry my hands when I reach for the phone lying in my trouser pockets. I click accept, ignoring the name at the top of the screen.

"Running away to the UK won't solve your problems." His deep raspy voice states.

Just as I suspected Ace was the person ringing me. I couldn't escape him even for 10 minutes.

"I'm not trying to run away." My voice is monotone.

"She still doesn't know does she?" I could see the smirk plastered over his smug face.

"She doesn't need to be involved."

"She's quite the beauty, dear Ashlyn." He pauses, waiting to stir a reaction out of me.

"I told you, she doesn't need to have any involvement in this." I remind him, clearly the last 20 times I told him wasn't enough.

"When your debt is payed I'll consider leaving her out of it." His breathing becomes non existent, "until then, predators love to play with their dinner."

The line goes dead.

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A/N: well I've been gone for a while... I'm so sorry!! I've had a busy last month or so, but I'm hoping to get back to updating regularly!!