Psychotic

26

"No. I just like being around you. But I wanna be able to get to know you. Things you haven't told me. I'm in love with you but the end of the day I don't know a lot about you. Like, your favorite color, favorite TV show, and etc. But at this point I'm pretty sure you know everything about me. Whenever we hang out you ask about me and while I talk you just listen. I've forgotten to actually get to know you when our relationship began and for that I'm sorry." I told her.

"Babe it's no big deal. I love listening to you talk. You're such a passionate person and that's my favorite thing about you. There's no need to apologize. But I get what you're saying. What do you wanna start with?" She asked while kissing the top of my head.

"What's the meaning of life? In your perspective. Just by that you can tell a lot about a person, if you tell me yours I'll tell you mine." I negotiated with her.

"The meaning of life...? Well that's a weird question I've never really thought about it. But if you're putting me on the spot I'm sure I can think of something." She said before going quiet before speaking up.

"To be happy really. At the end of the day you're just gonna end up dying in a few years. And when your dead, in that void, in heaven, in hell, or in between, you'll never really know what happens when your dead until your dead but everyone has different thoughts but I truly don't know. But I'm sure of one thing. The most terrible feeling when your dead is knowing how many regrets you have. You should be trying to live your life with the least amount of regrets you can since you don't have a bunch of time. Just overall be happy. That's why I do what I do, it makes me happy (most of the time). Everyone has a destiny when their born, it's not like "save the world" or become something, that you be seeing in movies. That destiny is be happy and life your life the best way you see fit." She explained while looking up at the ceiling.

"Wait. How are you so sure that's the most terrible feeling when your dead?" I asked.

"I'm pretty sure I've died before. All those times I got beat or yelled at or even insulted. The pain that I went through on the inside and outside, if someone were to feel that pain but in physical form I'm sure they'd die. But I've sat on the cold concrete of a parking lot, blood running down on my face, arms, legs, and chest. With my eyes closed, crying. While the heavy rain just kept hitting me with no remorse, no mercy. I screamed. After I finished screaming I felt nothing. The rain kept falling but I didn't even feel it anymore, my breathing stopped, the aching feeling stopped, I no longer felt the blood on my body. I couldn't even feel the tears that clouded my eyes. I was completely numb. The pain crumbled my up to the point where it's there but that's the only thing I felt, I realize that now. The pain didn't stop, it just invaded my entire body. It was peaceful yet terrifying. Every time I think of that moment... I'm been nothing but positive that's what being dead feels like." Y/N explained with a small chuckle at the end.

"I-"

"Please don't feel sorry for me, Lauren. If anything be happy for me. I'm grateful that I felt that. Now I know what to expect when the time comes. All these experiences make me who I am today and I truly love myself. Plus the bullies who hurt me that day are serving a life sentence, has cancer, and has diabetes. There was three of them and Karma worked in her own ways." Y/N told me, giving me a warm smile.

I hesitated at first but I just smiled with her, and gave her a long kiss.

"I understand. As long as you're happy I'm happy." I told her when I pulled away.

After that I continued asking questions and she answered whole heartedly.

As she spoke I couldn't help but fall more In love with her.

I'm sure if people knew the whole story of her, and they knew we were in a relationship and I truly love her. They wouldn't understand. No can really, if anything I don't understand.

She's a mix of a sociopath and a psychopath, but in the best way possible.

When we both began getting bored so we put on a TV show, the classic Steven Universe.

I felt a vibration underneath us so I searched and saw her phone was ringing.

"It's for you babe." I said handing her, her phone.

"Oh. It's my sister." She said before answering the phone.

"Hey Tiara, what's u-" she started off but sobbing cut her off.

It was really loud so I could hear it even though it wasn't on speaker.

Y/N's POV:

After me and Lauren had that refreshing talk that I honestly really enjoyed because of how understanding and supportive she was. Plus she didn't hesitate to correct me if I was wrong and tell me her own feelings. Which was great.

We re-watching Steven Universe (Even though I wanted to watch KC Undercover but it's whatever) when my sister called me.
(Let's pretend someone else played KC in that show even though we all can agree that no one could have played her better than Zendaya but let's get passed that for the sake of the book.)

I was greeting her when I only heard sobbing.

"Tiara. What's wrong what happened?" I asked sitting up.

"Sh-She raped her Y/N!" She screamed, continuing to cry.

"Who? Tiara what are you talking about?" I asked getting out of bed.

"THAT BITCH THAT YOU BROUGHT TO MY HOUSE FOUR YEARS AGO WHEN YOU WERE 16! SAID SHE WAS IMPORTANT TO YOU! SAID YOU WANTED HER TO MEET THE FAMILY YOU LOVE! SHE WAS SO OBSESSED WITH MYLAH! KEPT REPEATING OVER AND OVER AGAIN SHE LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE YOU! PLUS MYLAH IS INTERSEX JUST LIKE YOU! SHE TRACKED DOWN MYLAH'S SCHOOL! AND FOLLOWED MY DAUGHTER HOME! GRABBED HER AND RAPED HER IN AN ALLEY! MY DAUGHTER CALLED ME BAWLING SAYING THAT FRIEND OF YOURS TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HER! SAYING HOW DISGUSTING SHE FELT! My poor baby girl. She'll never be the same." My sister yelled continuing to sob.

(Heyyy.... how y'all doin?)

(Apologies for such a long wait for the update School is a lot plus my own mental health issues I'm dealing with on top of writers block. Doesn't help I'm leaving y'all with a cliffhanger. I'm getting better so I'll try to get to my regular updating schedule, which was like I updated at least every four days. Love you all and thanks for your patience.)