1991

1991 Part 28

You know that feeling when you're watching some lame TV show or some crappy movie and there's a moment when the lead character gets confronted about something bad they've done or they get caught out doing something terrible and you find yourself yelling at the screen "Just deny, deny, deny!" Like, why do they come clean so quickly, when they could lie their way out of it so easily with a simple excuse? Why are TV people so terrible at hiding secrets?  

Well, it turns out that when you're actually in that situation, and your best friend and the insanely beautiful guy you are falling hard for are staring at you like they don't know who you are anymore, it's really fucking hard to come up with an explanation. Especially if you're already a terrible liar. Which I am.

"What?" Kirst looks at Stone questioningly. She's still laughing, her shoulders are shaking but the expression in her eyes has changed to one of confusion. Stone giggles to himself.

"Me and Sam did smooches on the fire escape before but it's ok because no one knows and we've promised not to tell anyone ever." Stone is still smiling at Kirst, oblivious to what he's just done and seems to be thinking about doing a scout salute again. If he does I swear to god I'll snap his fucking fingers off.

"Shut the fuck up Stone!" I blurt out, "just stop!"

"What's going on?" Eddie asks, his voice low. 

"I have no idea..." I start to say, I even try to laugh it off but I see Eddie staring at me and the words dissolve on my tongue before I can finish. I can't lie to him. My stomach feels like a boxers bag.

"Are you serious right now?" Kirst isn't laughing anymore, she looks at me then Stone, then back to me. It's like everyone is frozen in place, no one is moving at all, and all eyes are on me. 

"Sam? Are you fucking serious?" Kirst demands. I can't think of anything to say that will make it go away, I open and shut my mouth like an idiot goldfish but the words won't come. 

"That's what you were doing for two fucking hours with my boyfriend?" she yells looking desperate, like she's willing me to say it's a joke or that Stone is just out of his mind and just making stuff up. I should lie but nothing will come into my head. 

"But you said I shouldn't worry about that? Remember? When I asked you to your face Sam?" Kirst is incredulous but all I can see is Eddie, and the utter confusion and pain behind his eyes. 

"It wasn't...I mean it was no big deal," I splutter desperate for Stone to sober up and back me up. I look at him, urging him to help me but he's blissfully ignorant of the bomb he's just detonated. Wait till tomorrow morning fucker, I glare.

"No big deal?" Kirst scoffs, her eyes blazing, "it's a big fucking deal to me Sam!"

"Jesus christ," Jeff mutters and looks away, towards Eddie who hasn't broken eye contact with me. I see Chris quickly cross the room to Eddie. He places his hand on Eddies chest and talks quietly into his ear but Eddie doesn't look away from me. 

"It didn't mean anything, we were wasted and I was upset and..." I plead.

"Sam I think you'd better go," Chris says firmly to me, holding an arm across Eddie. Tears spill down my cheeks as I look at Eddies face, his beautiful face filled with so much disappointment I can't bear it.

"I thought you'd been with Beth, I was angry!" I yell desperately at him, "I thought you were  going behind my back!" Is he even going to say anything? He's just staring at me.

"Sam, come on, we should go," Kev wraps an arm around me and pulls me towards the door.

"Eddie you have to believe me it meant nothing..." I'm really crying now and trying to pull away from Kev's grip.