Guinevere's Grail | ✓ [BOOK 2]

~ 15 ~

Her meal was finished before anyone else's. She was tired, but she didn't feel like sleeping. At this point, she didn't think she could. It was harder every night, the longing and the pain keeping her mind awake even when her body tried to rest. This was eating at her, and she didn't know how long she could take it. She didn't know how long she could pretend to be fine.

Kit sat beside her, like he always seemed to do when it got bad. It was like he knew somehow.

"You alright?" he asked. Normally, she'd be inclined to lie, but even a simple 'yeah' felt impossible to utter.

"I will be," she murmured, pulling out a flask Quinn gave her on the ship and taking a long gulp. She offered it to Kit, and he took a hefty drink without so much as a grimace.

He passed it back. "I'm sorry," he murmured, and she thought he might spiral into a speech about his own self hatred then. Making everything about himself was a terrible habbit of Kit's, but to her surprise, that wasn't the case this time. "It gets worse before it gets better."

Eurion tossed him a glance. "I don't know that I want it to get better."

He stared.

"I mean," she continued. "I don't want to forget. I don't like this pain but... if getting rid of it means getting rid of the love, I don't want it to get better." Her vision blurred. "But it hurts. So much. I don't know what to do."

Kit's hand settled on her own. He laced their fingers together and fixed her with a sorrowful smile. "I know how that feels. I wish I could tell you what to do, but I never did figure it out myself. That's the problem with grief. It's confusing, paralyzing. But one day, you'll figure out how to live with it. I never lost the pain, and at first it crippled me, too. I figured out how to live with it, though."

The prince was good at compassion when he wanted to be, and Eurion was starting to be surprised less when he said things that made sense. "Thanks," she murmured. She wanted to think of something else, so she took another drink and nudged Kit's leg with her own. "You're not so mad at Morgana all of a sudden. What happened?"

His blush brought a wicked grin to her face. She wasn't an idiot, she knew something happened between them again, but she didn't get the chance to properly pester Kit about it yet. There had to be a reason he changed his attitude so drastically towards the Unseelie, and she could only assume it meant one thing.

"Did you sleep with him?" she asked in a whisper.

"No!" he blurted, capturing the attention of everyone else in the room. He waved them away, and when they went back about their business, he lowered his voice and spoke again. "No, I didn't. I mean--it was--it was getting there. But I doubt either of us are... ready."

Eurion didn't drop her smug look. "Do you want to be ready? Someday?"

Kit leaned his head back and hid his face in his palms with a groan. "God, I don't know. It's confusing. And strange." He let his hands fall back into his lap and turned to look at her. "I used to think I was weird. Selene, my mother, Herwerde--everyone I knew that I loved didn't care about the sex of their romantic pursuits. For the longest time, I only saw women." He gulped. "I mean, I guess I'm normal now, but I didn't see it coming."

Eurion eyed him. "So you're saying you don't know how to please a man?"

Kit rolled his eyes. "I know how to please me, how hard can it be?" His gaze flickered to Morgana across the room. "No, it's not that. I still don't know how to feel about Morgana. I mean, he's blessed gorgeous, yeah, but I still can't figure out his morals. I still don't know where he stands."

"He's not as unpredictable as you think," Eurion told him. "He has a code, it's just hard to figure out how he plans to execute it. He cares about his people, Kit. As long as he needs us to save them, he won't stab us in the back like that."

He looked down at his hands. "But as soon as they're saved from this disease, he's not gonna let us save everyone else. He'll go right back to being our enemy. How do I know he won't try to eliminate the threat while it's still close? How do I know he's not going to use me again?"

Eurion didn't know what to say to that. He was right, Morgana wasn't going to stay on their side after this as long as they still planned to bring back Camelot, but saying that wouldn't help. "We'll worry about the future when we get there," she said. "Just... keep your head on, make sure you stay thinking with that part of you. You'll be fine."

They fell into a comfortable silence then. The others were lost in their own conversation, aside from Lionel, who was already sound asleep. Eurion finally felt her eyes growing heavy, and she realized then how desperately she needed to rest.

"Get some sleep," she told Kit, patting his knee. "We have a big day tomorrow, yeah?"

As soon as Kit left and Eurion settled into her bed, she drifted off into a deep, unpleasant sleep. Her dreams were haunted by the sight of Chalice, limp on the ground with no way to return. She was the first to wake, as usual, desperate to escape the nightmares. She sat against the wall, motionless for awhile, waiting for everyone else to wake up. Though she was awake, the nightmares still followed behind her, plaguing her thoughts which she could never escape from, like a prison.

Eurion was good at escaping prisons, but this would never be the case as long as she was the one keeping herself there.

Selene woke up first. Giselle was not long after her, and soon it was only the boys and the stranger in the corner that remained asleep. Eurion had her bets on Lionel waking up next, Kit always slept like a brick and Morgana was getting bad again, enough so that he required a cane again, and she imagined his body would seek all the rest it could get after so much exertion.

She noticed his skin was still lightly tanned, and the cracks on his face and the white streaks in his hair cleared away. He never dropped the glamour, even in his sleep. It could've been a safety precaution, but he didn't drop it when it was just them in the cabin of the ship, either. He was wearing himself out and Eurion had no idea why.

Lionel was next to wake, to her excitement. Samma was already in the kitchen, silently preparing a meal for the guests that made Eurion's stomach grumble. She thought Kit might wake up next, because the only thing that could wake him up so easily was food, while Morgana wasn't much of a pleasure eater.

The two continued to sleep even as Samma served the others their breakfast, but Eurion was only concerned about Morgana. Kit's exhaustion was normal, but for the Unseelie, it was a bad sign.

She caught Giselle's eye from across the room and looked to Morgana. The Seelie caught on immediately and nodded, like she agreed that she was also nervous.

The next to wake up was the stranger in the corner. Eurion never caught their face, but they were unremarkable enough not to pique her curiosity. At least, not until they left the hostel, paying Samma and bidding a farewell. It wouldn't have bothered her if they didn't leave their bag behind without a thought.

After inhaling her meal like she'd been starved, Eurion couldn't resist the temptation. When Samma went into another room, she crawled towards the bag and yanked it open. All she wanted was supplies, she didn't expect to find what she did.

There was a map, a flask, a few other basic travel tools. But what really caught her eye was the crown inside of it, which buzzed with a magic she'd grown familiar with by now. "This is Sídhe," she said, holding up the crown. "And they left it here."

She tossed it into Giselle's outstretched hands, watching as the Seelie examined it with a look of recognition. "This is the crown of the Summer Queen," she said. "It was hidden in the Seelie palace. It shouldn't be here."

Selene's eyes brightened. "I've seen it. The princess was looking at it, she almost caught me in there."

"It was her," Eurion said when the realization hit her. "The Summer Princess killed Chalice. What the hell is her kingdom's crown doing here?"

She didn't want it to be true, but it had to be. It wasn't Connor, but it was just as terrifying. In fact, Eurion thought she might've preferred Connor this time.

This was a message from the Fair Folk.

Shit.