Secrets in Shibuya - Haikyuu [Oikawa x Iwaizumi]

those we love most

I began visiting Sara's apartment after my shifts. Once a week. Then, it turned into every other day. Not too long after, she soon grew comfortable with my place. Sara once told me that her room often suffocates her whenever she's in there for too long (it was the scent of paint chemicals, the draining overhead lights), so I gave her a spare key to mine. Sometimes, I would come home and she would already be in there, chopping vegetables and eating my snacks. I didn't mind it at all. We became good friends... friends with benefits, but nothing more, as she would firmly state. I was fine with that. Preferred it, in fact. Even if you took the sex away from our relationship, we would still be friends. We understood each other. It felt as if the universe planted us together, right in that smoke spot, just so we could figure out life together.

Sara made me feel less alone in my cluelessness.

We figured out how to file our taxes together. Reminded each other to pay our bills. Threw a dinner party every now and then. Got excited whenever we made a mundane purchase, like a new miniature washing machine or that fancy cast iron skillet. Whenever we had the choice of going out or staying in, we would most likely stay with one another.

I learned that Sara hates the taste of green onions and that she pours her cereal after the milk, which I thought was very wrong. She could tell you all about Jean-Luc Godard and Anna Karina's marriage, and her biggest fear would be falling off a building... and spiders. Sara pointed out my habit of drinking coffee without milk or sugar, and how I always double-checked to make sure all the lights were turned off before leaving: things I don't notice about myself. Look at you, you attentive energy-saver, she remarked.

The more time I spent with Sara, the more I was also learning things about myself.

Kuroo would give me a weird look whenever I reassured him, saying things like "I promise we're not dating" and "trust me, we're both just friends". To which he would reply with things like, "Yeah, yeah, just friends, I see. I thought you two were an old married couple, honestly" and " I'll leave y'all to it", always followed by that sarcastic wink of his.

After my evening shift, Sara and I went for a walk downtown. We followed the scent of warm Taikyaki batter, and once spotted, she raced to order the cakes—one filled with chocolate, one filled with custard. I waited around the corner. A small bookstore featured weekly magazines on the windowsill. Oikawa and Ainu were featured on the covers of many of them. The cheap, overused gossip headlines jumped out at me.

Top 10 Influential Women of Japan - Miss. Nakamura's Gallery Opening in Taiwan!

Volleyball Star Oikawa Tōru: Drugs, Partying, Lies

Oikawa Tōru and Nakamura Ainu's Breakup: All the Secrets Here

Oikawa Tōru's Nights of Recklessness (An Insider Tells All)

Nakamura Ainu Hides After Breakup, Oikawa Tōru Spotted Leaving Taiwan's Nightclubs

"Watcha looking at?" Sara held the dessert in front of my face, blocking my view and snapping me back to reality.

"Nothing important. Just celebrity gossip."

"Oikawa Tōru. Handsome guy, eh?" She said, as if she was making fun of him.

"Tell me about it."

"What is he like in real life?"

"Wait. What do you. What did you say?" I was tongue tied.

"The polaroid of him at your place. At first, I assumed you were just another fan, but it was a polaroid, and the picture was taken at your place. Are you two good friends?"

We strolled into a nearby park. "I guess you could say that."

She took a pause on pestering me with more questions. Instead, Sara and I took a nap on the grassy field. I dreamt of her and Oikawa meeting each other. It was a funny dream. We were skipping around a pond and singing a strange song. Oikawa was holding me, and Sara went off to go fishing. Strange.

When I woke up, I wondered if I'd ever tell her the full story of us. I thought about the magazine headlines, and I questioned how much of it was true. But how much of anything was ever true?

~

Dear Iwaizumi,

I apologize for writing back so late. It's been a tough winter—adjusting to Taiwan, dealing with some health troubles (nothing major; I'll get through it soon), and figuring out what the hell I'm doing with my life. I take Eevee on walks every morning. That's how I've discovered my favorite spots in the neighborhood: a small ice cream parlor, one rundown bookstore, and an alleyway mural. You were right about the places I should visit. The Yangmingshan National Park is stunning. I have to take you one day. It would be nice to sit in the sun with you. We can read books and listen to some of your albums. I miss your music, how we would blast it while sharing earbuds.

I try to avoid things that have been written about me. Those magazines drive me insane. Mostly because many of those things are actually quite true, and I want to believe that I'm more than that... more than what those articles and headlines have to say about me. I feel at my best whenever I'm away from that world (the cameras and skewed interviews), so in that sense, Taiwan has been quite peaceful. When I ignore the magazines, I feel like an ordinary stranger in the city. That's when I feel on top of the world.

I'm doing better. I hope to be back in Tokyo once I piece my life together. It's a bit all over the place right now. I guess that's just how things are, right? How are Kuroo and Bokuto? How's Tokyo? Any new changes? Have you fallen in love with anyone?

Well, I miss you like crazy, Iwachan. I tell everyone I meet about you. Sometimes, I share stories about us, and in doing so, you feel a little less far away from me.

Write back soon.

Sincerely,

Shittykawa

P.S. I stole your sweater before I left.

~

"Oikawa Tōru!? Damn, if Oikawa Tōru broke my heart, I would also be fucking depressed right now." We curled up in my bed as Sara looked through old photographs of me and Oikawa.

"Ha, very funny, but you just summed up my life."

"Well, what is it about him that's gotten you so lovesick?"

I gave Sara a small slice of my friendship with Oikawa. The full picture belonged to only me and him, but that burning curiosity was getting to her, although she played it off like she didn't care. All of Japan knew Oikawa, after all. Knowing Oikawa Tōru itself was an unbelievable fact, and so, I shared some stories of our childhood, of the days we spent with my grandparents, of growing up, drifting apart, and finding each other again in Tokyo. A blurry overview of the timeline of our friendship.

"What about you? If your girlfriend—ex-girlfriend—called you right now, would you get back together with her?"

"In a heartbeat. I think about her far too often. Just replaying the memories of us over and over in my brain. Sometimes, I can't even get work done. It consumes me, having her live in my head rent free like this." She shrugged. "Well, it is what it is. Enough of this emotional bullshit. Want to have sex?"

"You know, it would be so much easier if we were in love with each other," I joked.

"Oh, tell me about it! I wish I was in love with you too, but us humans are distracted creatures. We're confused and desperate and oftentimes in love with something that's no longer there. But hey, at least we're on the same page, right?"

I slipped my hand under her shirt. "We do make things difficult for ourselves."

She raised an eyebrow before lowering herself, fingers playing with the buckle of my belt. "Ah, ah... no more romantic, mushy, mushy, emotional feelings. I'm over that shit."

"Alright," I groaned as she nipped the inside of my thigh, and together, we ran away from the two human beings we love most.