I'm Here For You (Foxy x Bonnie story)

Ch 27 Thoughts

Bonnie's POV:

You know that this is your fault right? I'm hurt because of you and because of what you did. You should've died in that car crash with your parents. None of this would have happend. But you decided to stay alive and put others lives at risk and thought that that would help. Well it isn't. They are all gonna die because of you. And your gonna be the only one to blame. Wake up Bonnie. This isn't a dream. This isn't a fairy tale. I don't even fucking love you. Your useless. Your just so easy to manipulate. I could tell you to go kill yourself and you'd probably do it. Your. An. Idiot. Wake up! Wake! Up!

I jolted up and woke up to Foxy holding me and on his phone. He noticed movement and kissed my head. "Hey good mornin sweety." He said as I fully woke up. "Good morning." I said rubbing my head against his furry neck trying to calm down from the tearable dream. "Hey are you ok? You kinda jumped a little when you woke up." "Y-yea I'm fine. Just a weird dream." "What was it about?" "Just some stuiped scary stuff. Now that I'm remembering it. It was kinda dumb." I lied. He giggled and smiled. "Well, are you excited to go to the loop today?" "Mhm. Are we gonna stay with Funtimes group the whole time?" "I was thinking that we could... sneak away at some point and it just be me and you." "Ok." I said shutting my eyes again with a sigh. "Is that ok with you?" "Yea of course." "It sounded like you didn't seem like you liked the idea." "Sorry I've just... still thinking about the Kai situation and your... eye." "Please don't worry about my eye... it wasn't your fault and you don't need to worry about Kai either. I know they will find him and put him were he belongs." I scooted back until I was face to face with Foxy still laying down on the bed. "I know but it's just... scary to know he's still out there looking for us and one of your friends told him where we were at that party and... it's just alot to take in..." He leaned in and kissed my forehead making me smile. "They will find him and we'll find out the person who ratted us out. It'll be fine, I promise." He said brushed his hands through my hair. "Alright, I trust you." He smiled and sat up out of the bed. "Would you like to take a shower or could I take on?" He asked as I sat up too. "You can go first. I'll wait." He got up, grabbed some clothes and walked over towards the door to leave. "Love you." "I love you too." We said as he walked out. Foxys right I need to stop worrying about this whole situation. It's fine. We're fine. Kai isn't gonna find us. Right? I brushed the thought out of my head and sighed. I grabbed my guitar from under the bed and started playing. I played and just thought about what the future would be like if they caught Kai or if they never find him. I thought about Foxy and our relationship and what our future will be like. All I could think about was consciences and what my parents would think when they saw me now and who I turned out to be. They would be proud of me right? I'm happy. I found love. And I'm safe form that he'll hole I was in. But then... mabye they wouldn't. What if they wouldn't like it if I were gay or bi or whatever and that I let myself stay in a abusive relationship because I was scared. I... I don't even know who I am... I don't even know if I'm gay or not or if I even love Foxy or that I want to be friends with these people or... God what am I thinking... I felt tears as I continued playing a tune on the guitar. What am I doing? Why am I here? None of this would have happend if I wouldn't have opened my dumb fucking mouth. Foxy wouldn't be hurt, Foxys friends wouldn't be worried, and Kai wouldn't be hunting us down if I woulda just... killed myself... I paused and froze in place for a minute as tears turned into sobs. What the fuck is wrong with me? I sat like that for a few moments tucking my head between my knees and sniffing and whinging as the thoughts of... suicide... I heard the door open and Foxy walked in and I quickly brushed off my tears and threw on a fake smile. "Oh hey Foxy. Y-you startled me." I said clearly noticing that I kinda jumped. "Sorry. I probably shoulda knocked." He said sitting next to me. "You can go take a shower now. Plus we're leaving around like four or five so take your time." I got up from the bed and quickly walked over towards his closet and grabbed clothes and left while trying to hide my face so he wouldn't notice that I was crying.

Time skip to a couple minutes later:

I got out of the shower and got changed and just looked at myself in the mirror. I thought to what I said earlier in my head and kept repeating it. What if I don't even love Foxy... I don't even love Foxy... I don't love Foxy... I dont... what the hell is wrong with me?! What am I even thinking?! What the fuck! I left the bathroom and bolted to Foxys room. I walked in to see that Foxy was just on his bed with his phone and I immediately jumped on the bed with him and hugged him. "Oh, Jesus. You scared me. Didn't even hear you walk in..." He trailed off as I dug my head into his chest. "Hey are you ok? You've been acting weird all morning." I didn't respond making him set his phone aside and wrap his arms around me. "Bonnie?" I felt like I was gonna cry again. Foxy sat up lifting me up while I was still hugging him and he was hugging me. "Are you still thinking about Kai? Bon..." "I wasn't thinking about that..." "Then what were you thinking?" I sat quiet again. "Bonnie, talk to me... what's going on?" "I just... I-I have so many things going through my head that I s-shouldn't be thinking a-and it's just... I don't know why I'm thinking these things or what made me think these things..." "Hey calm down its ok, I'm here for you. Tell me what your thinking, I'll help you, I promise." I started crying into his shoulder. "Your stressed about Kai and that why you thinking these terrible things. I know that because I was stressed about him too and only thought about bad shit. But it'll get better, I promise." I calmed down and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek and faced him. "Now tell me what you were thinking. Please. It's better to tell me then try to hide it." "I-I was th-thinking about suicide a-again." I studderd. His eyes widend and he started wiping the tears from my face. "Bonnie..." "The only reason why you are getting hurt is because of me and you can't say it's not because it is my fault. And none of this woulda happend if I fucking died in that car crash with my parents. Or if I slit my wrists or hung my self or-" "Bonnie stop!" He shouted interrupting me. "Stop saying these things. I don't care if I get hurt. I don't care if I die. All I care about is you and you being safe. With or without me." "I-" "I wanted to get hurt Bonnie. To keep you safe. I swore that I'd do anything to keep you safe and I will keep that promise all the way to death." I leaned my head onto his and started crying more. "I-I dont..." before I could even speak he leaned in and kissed me. The kiss lasted a while until we both pulled away for air. "I don't want you to risk your life for me. you already do so much for me." "And I will do so much more until your happy. And please don't ever think about suicide again. Please. I can't lose you." I nodded and he finished wiping the tears from my furred cheeks. "How long have you been having these thoughts?" "Since Monday." He cupped my cheeks and sighed. "Sorry if this felt super random-" "Its fine don't worry. I'd rather you talk to me about now then me have to figure it out." I slipped my hands into his hands. "I was thinking about something else too." "Tell me." "Your not gonna like it." "Tell me please." "I-I... I thought that I... didn't l-love you. And I freaked out, that thought scared the hell out of me. That's why I immediately ran in and hugged you." He looked like he froze. Like his soul left his body. "D-did... I... What..." "I didn't know what I was thinking. I was terrified. I do love you I don't know why I thought that. You. Mean so much to me." "I... I don't know what to say about that." His hands slid down and he looked to the side. "I don't know what I was thinking. I love you. I love you more than anything. I love you more than myself." "I love you too." We sat there silent again. "I don't want to think these things but I am and I hate it so much." He slid into another hug again and repeatedly kissed my cheek. I just giggled and hugged him back. "Please never think about this again. Even if you do, don't listen to it." "I-I wont." "What did you mean when you said that you should have died in that car crash?" "I lied about them getting in a crash. I was driving." "What?!" "They were letting me drive on the highway and a truck swirved into us and we flew off a hill. The car crushed my mom in the backseat and a tree branch struck through my dad... and I lived." "Dont tell me you think this is your fault." I went silent and he sighed. "You didn't kill them don't think that. That truck swirved into you. That was not your fault." "I try to tell myself that." "Then keep telling yourself that." "I will." He leaned in again a gave me a soft kiss on the lips and pulled away. "We'll go to the Loop and get this shit off our minds, ok?" I nodded and he got up and pulled me up too. "Lets get ready. We slept in for awhile." He said. I looked over at my phone that was plugged in and it said 3:48pm. "Ok. I'll get ready." I replied. He smiled and kissed my forehead. God I love his kisses. "We're gonna have fun tonight. We're gonna forget this ever happend and we gonna have a good night, ok?" "Sure thing captain." "I love you cutie." He said with a giggle. "I love you too."