Why Me || T. Oikawa

Chapter 35: Finding Y/n

   The lack of defensiveness in her tone confusing Oikawa, but he doesn't waver. "You said you and L/n used to be friends, so why would you hurt her? What did she ever do to you?" Oikawa asks, demanding answers from the black-haired girl. 

   Mia looks him dead in the eyes, no remorse evident in her expression. "She did absolutely nothing to me," She responds, her eyes void of any emotion. 

   A shiver runs up Oikawa's spine due to the coldness of her words. Part of him was hoping Mia did what she did for a reason, but no. "W-Why?" Oikawa stutters, conflicted by the girl's tone. "L/n is a kind person. Why would you take away the sport she loved the most and then destroy the relationships she worked so hard to form?" Oikawa questions, desperate for a rational answer. His eyes narrow as he looks at the girl, trying to find any sense of human emotion in the darkness of her orbs.   

   Mia pushes herself off the wall, positioning her body square to Oikawa, letting him know that she's not playing around anymore and is meaning every word that flows from her mouth. 

   "It's because she's kind. I hurt her because of her kindness," Mia answers, the cold expression never leaving her face. 

   All of Oikawa's effort and motivation to understand the situation crumbles in front of him. 

   "What?" Oikawa asks, a distressed expression playing on his features. 

   Mia looks down for a moment, sighing. "I would think you out of all people would understand. Haven't you felt like pushing her away because you're scared of needing her?" Mia asks, some traces of sadness flickering in her eyes. "Or at the very least, felt like you had to keep her at arm's length?"     

   Oikawa feels as though the wind has been knocked out of him, the weight of Mia's words causing a small part of the boy to crumble. 

   He's scared...Scared that she's right. 

   Every time Oikawa's near you, he feels waves of emotion crashing down on him. The desire to tell you his true feelings, eating away at him. Even so, he holds back, afraid of getting too close, afraid of needing you, afraid of becoming addicted to your touch and your sweet words...afraid of you.   

   Mia sighs once more, watching the conflicting emotions drown Oikawa. "Let me paint a picture for you," Mia begins, turning back to the sky, admiring the few shimmering lights up above. "People like me and you, leach off of people like her. Desperate for the shining light that radiates from them. When that light reaches us, touches our fragile hearts, we open up. We feel things we don't want to feel and are too scared to...But we need to feel those emotions. As a result of that, we crave more, whether we like it or not. Encasing them in our darkness, we fear the possibility of them shining for someone else...Eventually, we snuff out all they have to offer, to leave them as nothing more than a shell," Mia preaches, her voice serious as she's now watching the small raindrops fall from the sky. 

   Oikawa looks at the girl in disbelief, so many different and confusing emotions eating away at his heart. Gulping, Oikawa opens his mouth, afraid of the answer Mia will give him for the next question. "What do you mean 'we' and 'people like you and me'?" Oikawa asks, fear evident in his voice. 

   Mia turns her head to him once more, eyes back to being lifeless. "You and I are the same. Afraid of the things N/n can make us feel. Afraid of having to see her light touch another," Mia explains. Her words like a sharp knife piercing Oikawa's skin.    

   He feels the tips of his finger grow numb, his legs threatening to buckle underneath him. "No... We're nothing alike," Oikawa subconsciously spits out, even though his heart sings to a different tune.