Impossible Dreams

CH. 47

JESSIE’S P.O.V

I don’t think Riley noticed it but I was shaking like a leaf as I held him. Seeing him freaking out like that was even scarier the second time around.

“Jessie” he said again. “I know seeing me have a meltdown freaked you out last time but …”

“That’s not it” I said looking into his eyes. “You said something to me this time” his eyes went wide as I spoke and I knew he hadn’t meant for me to ever find out what his attacks were.

“What…. What did I say?” Riley asked, pushing himself up so that he leaned against the wall in a sitting position.

“You told me to run or ‘she’ would hurt me too,” I said. He paled, and for the first time since I met him, he seemed completely vulnerable. “Riley why do you freak out like that?” I questioned him. “Who is ‘she’ and what did she do to you that made you act like this when you’re confined?” I didn’t expect him to answer but he did.
“Alright I’ll tell you, but no one else needs to know- especially not my mother,” he sighed. “She freaks out enough over what my last master did. If she knew about this she would lose it for sure.” I knew it was going to be bad as soon as that sentence left his mouth.

“I won’t tell a soul unless you say it’s ok but I’m your mate Riley think I should know so I can help you if it happens again.” I said.

“Fair enough” Riley agreed. “If I’m going to tell you about this there is something you need to see first to help you understand.” He added eyeing me warily. He reached for the bottom of his shirt and I put out a hand to stop him.

“Riley” I began.

“Just look” he said lifting his shirt up over his head. As he did so I could see scars peeking around his side under his arms. He turned around so that his back was facing me and I backed away from him when I saw what was there. His skin was a patchwork of crisscrossing whip marks not uncommon on the skin of vampires but scattered amongst the cuts there were holes. Little red dots all over his back in no particular pattern as though he had chicken pox.

“Riley what is this” I said putting my hand on his shoulder. I accidentally touched one of the dots and he flinched as the tip of my finger went into the depression that I realized then was a scar of a different sort. “What did this to you”

“A former owner of mine” he said turning to me. “She was an aristocrat and a very cruel one who liked to dole out certain tortures personally.”

“What did you do to …” I started to ask but he cut me off.

“Nothing” he said quickly. “I didn’t do a thing I was obedient and I did my work but there was another who slept in the same slave quarters as me who was not able to do his work like I could. His name was Alex and he was still pretty young.” He looked at the ground as he spoke his voice becoming little more than a whisper. “He was weak but she gave him impossible chores just so she could go after him when they weren’t done. I had been there for two years when she bought him and had heard rumors about how she punished the slaves she thought were lazy so when I noticed him struggling with his work I got worried. I helped him at first by finishing things for him but she caught on and gave me more work to stop me. After that I resorted to helping him hide from her which worked for a few weeks but one day she caught him trying to make a run back to the room we slept in. When she tried to take him to be punished he bolted and ran straight to me.”

“Riley what are you” I tried to interrupt because I had noticed he was shaking.

“She was right behind him but I got in her way. I pushed him behind me and told her that if she would spare the boy I would take his place.” Riley continued. “I knew whatever she was going to do was bad and I was scared but I knew that little kid didn’t deserve it and I was stronger. I volunteered for it every time. I protected him and I paid the price for his mistakes and my defiance. She would whip me bloody and then lock me in a coffin lined with nails buried in a layer of salt. She would leave me in that thing for hours on end. I couldn’t do anything but scream and beg to be let out. If I tried to get out it made the nails dig deeper into me and when it was over she would dump salt water over my wounds to prevent infection and put me back to work like nothing ever happened.” He was breathing heavily and I could tell that he was reliving it all in his mind and I understood what he had said to me before.

“You have flashbacks don’t you” I said grabbing his shoulder and turning him to face me. “That’s what happens when you get locked in tight spaces your mind takes you back to that torture and you relive it again”  he was crying and I pulled him closer hugging him. “You always seemed so strong I had no idea that….”

“Don’t sound so sorry for me” he said as he wiped at his eyes. “I chose what happened to me and I don’t regret it in the least.” He said looking up at me. “I would rather relive that every day for the rest of my life than know that a child had suffered and I could have prevented it.”

“Riley I know that” I said quietly. “That’s who you are. You protected that kid like you protected me when Zephyr first showed up. I know you don’t regret it I just wish you would have told me sooner” I was crying now. “I don’t like knowing that you suffered but I’m glad that now I know how to help you if it happens again. I know that all I have to do is show you it isn’t real.”  I pulled him up and walked him back toward our room. “Let’s get you cleaned up” I said as I sat him down on our bed. He had bloodied his hands again and it looked like he had dipped them in scarlet paint. It was on his face as well from where he had wiped at his eyes earlier as he cried. As I wiped the blood from under his eyes he looked up at me.

“Did I ever tell you that you are the best mate anyone could ever have” he said.

“It wouldn’t kill you to say it more often” I chuckled.

“Come here you” he said kissing me gently on the lips. I pulled back after a moment and took his hand which was still covered in red.

“Stop distracting me” I said. “I’m supposed to be patching you up not making out with you”