1991

1991 part 5

"And what about you?" 

"Me? Oh god nothing, I went home and went to bed. Alone!" I say before she can ask.

"Well thank goodness it wasn't Nick right? How the hell did we miss that one Sam? What a creep." 

I look away. I'm becoming more and more freaked out every time I think about it, about poor Becky. She and I have never been super close but I'm desperately worried about her. 

"How is she today?" 

"She's much better, yeah, freaked out obviously. Fucking terrifying really. Thank fuck we were there when it happened."

"Does she remember much?"

"Not really, says she remembers chatting with Nick and him being a bit full on, really touchy and offering to buy her drinks but she turned him down. Asked for just a coke. Next thing she remembers is waking up in some dudes lap on the bathroom floor."

I'm ashamed to admit I feel a pulse in my groin at the merest mention and cross my legs more tightly.

"You ok? You flinched?" Kirsty's looking at me with concern.

"What? Oh yeah, fine. Just a bit freaked out about it all."

"It's fucking lucky that sleaze tried to move onto you if you think about it, imagine if you'd not found her in time."

I don't want to imagine it, the thought of how differently things could have turned out makes me sick with fear. I don't feel like I was the hero though.

"It was Scrunch and his friends, not me, they sorted it out," I pause and try to sound nonchalant "that lead singer helped her most, he's the one to thank." I feel my cheeks grow warm.

"When we were talking last night Scrunch said that Eddie has always been like that, will do anything for anyone you know, he just dives in. Fearless." 

I try to not show how interested I am in what Scrunch said about Eddie but inside I'm screaming to know more.

"Not just him though, not just Eddie, they were all so kind," I try to divert the conversation away from him because just his name makes my heart race a little. I keep seeing him, standing in front of the bathroom mirror staring at me, his hair tangled and flipped over to one side, his t-shirt casually thrown in the trash and his chest. How I'd imagined running my finger down his stomach, through his dark hairs and his soft, tanned skin and inside his shorts. Fuck, I wanted to lick strips off him alright. This is definitely what Kirst meant.

"You ok Sam?" Kirsty is looking at me quizzically. 

"What? Oh yes, yeah fine." I'm flustered. I'm sweating a little and I've got an irritating ache in a private place that just won't go away. Desperate to snap out of it I try to change the subject.

"Shall we go for a walk, I'm a bit stiff sitting here?" I say breezily collecting my things.

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We drop our wrappers in the trash and walk down the hill. It feels good to get some fresh air, the wind cools my cheeks and distracts from the utter, all consuming lust that coursing through me like adrenaline. His smile that reaches his eyes, blue and sparkling with mischief and a million wicked thoughts. I stop and clench my fists, fighting to push the image from my mind.

"What the fuck are you doing Sam?" K is staring at me like I'm crazy which I may well be. I certainly feel crazy.

"Umm, nothing, just got something on my mind." I put my head down and keep walking.

His wrists and hands that look so capable but weirdly elegant, the veins in his forearms, the slightly lighter skin on the inside of his elbow, the deep tan on his shoulders, sun-kissed, his stomach, taut and the curve of his pecs and oh my god I am going insane. I accidentally let out a whimper and run my hands through my hand in desperation.

"Ok, I'm starting to worry Sam, you're acting genuinely nuts woman!" K grabs my arm.

"Ugh! Kirst I can't take this!" I turn away and shut my eyes. My dream floats in, his hands on my thigh and inside my underwear. His tongue, oh dear lord!

"Fuck!"

"Sam you need to tell me why you're acting like a nutter right now dude!" K is looking at me like with deep concern. I need to tell someone or I'll explode. Or worse.

"Oh my god, I am nuts K. I don't know what the fuck is actually wrong with me!" 

K looks at me expectantly. I sigh.

"That guy. That guy is like in my head and I feel like I'm losing my mind."

"Which guy Sam?" K asks but she's already smirking slightly.

"Don't tease me K, you know exactly who I mean!" I shout haughtily. "It's not funny! I had this dream," I can feel myself blushing "this incredibly, ridiculously intense, hot dream last night when I got home and I can't get it out of my head! Like it's literally following me!"

"Go on," K's smiling so broadly I can see her molars.

"Last night, after everyone had gone, we had a...sort of....moment."

K's eyebrows shoot up into her hair. 

"No not like that! Well, not entirely, he took his shirt off....and his shorts in front of me. I mean while he was looking at me, or rather while I watched. And it was....." my heart is hammering "intense."

Kirst's jaw is hanging open. 

"Eddie, took his clothes off in front of you?" Where?"

"No, not like that. He was covered in puke, he was cleaning up, in the bathroom. I walked in. And saw him, in the mirror." I explained.

"Ok. Did he mind? You finding him in his underwear?"

"No, he didn't get undressed until I was in there, while we were looking at each other.'

"He took his clothes off while you watched?" K is beaming, "Eddie stripped for you? You may be the luckiest woman alive."

"But I'm not K. I can't get it out of my head, I'm having obscene dreams, I'm in a permanent state of excitement if you know what I mean," I say awkwardly. "I can't get him out of my thoughts, it's almost painful. He is the most delicious thing I've ever seen. He's actual cake, like chocolate cake, like a giant chocolate filled, chocolate cake, with truffles and I just want to devour it. Like, there isn't a thing about him that isn't gorgeous. And I'm terrified!"

I'm disappointed to see K laughing her head off. 

"I had no idea it would happen this fast," she grins, wiping her eyes "but I have to admit you didn't stand a chance with this one."

"Stop it K, don't make fun it's terrible. I need a cold shower every time I hear his name. I'm an actual wreck, I feel helpless and powerless. What the fuck am I going to do?" I moan.

"Just answer me one question ok?" K smiles and wraps an arm around my shoulder.

"What?"

"Would you actually drink his bath water?" she giggles.

I pause. "Do you even need to ask?" 

K wraps me in a hug. 

"In that case, there's only one solution."

"Dedicate my life to Jesus? Become a nun?" I ask hopefully.

"Not exactly. Band practice, lets go!"