As You Are // D.M.

AS YOU ARE

Oh, I thought about it day and night until it was the only thing consuming my every thought.

I thought about it and let the idea swallow me whole. If I could have a child with Draco I would protect it as if my life depended on it. I would guard it and keep it so safe from any sort of harm. I would--

I felt a tug on the sleeve of my cloak. I glanced down to see a wide eyed and excited Scorpius, pointing towards the sweets shop down the alley. He blinked his blonde lashes at me, his grey and silver eyes sparkling on the cool fall day.

I had a son.

I had Scorpius, who I promised Draco I would love as my own and I did. I had to step in and become that mother figure for him, no matter how badly I wanted to let the tub water consume me or the flames swallow me whole during that dark June month. I had to be his mum now, I couldn't abandon him like my mother did to me. Draco and I made a vow and I made a vow to Scorpius.

"Okay" I smiled down at the six year old. "You can get one bag of sweets and that's it. Your father will have my head if he comes home in three days and finds you bouncing off the wall."

Scorpius grinned up at me with a toothy smile. The pale haired boy tugged me along in the direction of the sweet shop. I shook my head but let him take the lead.

That's when I felt it. I felt every hair on the back of my neck stand on end and I knew that she was near.

"Granny!" Scorpius cried, releasing my hand.

The small boy ran up to the older witch, engulfing her into a hug. Narcissa smiled down at her Grandson with the utmost adoration that she could give. I had no idea if Scorpius still kept in contact with his Grandmother, Draco and I never talked about her after that day at Malfoy manor

I let out a deep breath, trying to steady my nerves as I approached them. Narcissa looked up at me, her back going stick straight as her nose cinched up like she smelled something rotten.

"Narcissa" I muttered, not bothering to give her a proper greeting.

"I hear congratulations are in order" she smirked, her red lips curling up slightly.

I watched as her eyes trailed down my body, hovering over my flat stomach then to my ring. I felt my insides twist, knowing very well that she was looking for a sign of pregnancy in her son's new wife. She wouldn't find a child there, probably much to her sick and twisted pleasure I might add.

I was far from pregnant.

I was barren for a lack of better terms and I didn't need her to fucking remind me of it. I shivered at the thought.

"Yes" I sighed, shifting on my feet. "It will be one year in February."

"Well, I offer nothing but the utmost congratulations to you two" She trailed her eyes down my body once again. "I do mean it, Armena. Tell Draco hello for me."

I watched her as she walked away, I felt my jaw go slack as I stared and stared at her until she was no more than a speck of black and white. A sense of dread and unease washed over me like a tidal wave.

******

The week came and went. 

I let out a long sigh, as I moved my finger around in a slow circular motion, stirring the piping hot tea in my porcelain cup. My nails drummed mindlessly on the counter as I waited. I glanced towards the clock on the steel oven. Pansy and Blaise would be here any moment now for our Thursday night wine session. Pansy had been overwhelmed the past month after she had given birth to those sweet boys.

Had it really been that long?

The boys, James and Albus, were beautiful, each one reflecting their personalities. James was identical to Harry while Albus was Pansy's doppelgänger. That boy was going to be trouble when he got older and there was no doubt in my mind that he was going to grow up to become a Slytherin.