I can't have you

The looks

"Hey Ushi - Gushi!" I'm giggeling the words inside the tall guys ear after i jumped on his back, on our way back home from school. I lay my head on Ushijimas shoulder. Shirabu walks with us, because he lives near us as well. Things like carrying each other on our backs are actually pretty normal for Ushi and me, but strangeley i feel kind of different. My body seems to tingle everywhere. I just blame it on the exhaustion of the volleyball practise we just come from. Ushijima puts his hands on my legs so that i won't fall off his back and grinns. 

                                                                               ~Shirabu POV~

I shake my head with a slight smile on my face. Usally i'm not the type to show much emotions but i just can't with those two. Without purpose they make each other so happy that their faces are brightening up everytime they see them. Right now Ushijima is carrying Tendou on his back. He doesn't say anything but he grinns and you can see something in his eyes. This special look and this special smile on his face are just for Tendou and Tendou only. It's made only for him. I wonder how long it's going to take for them to finally notice...

                                                                         ~Tendous POV again~

The door bell is ringing. I happily open up just to see Semi and Ushijima standing there with bags full of snacks. We're having a movie night at my house and i'm really exited. "Hey guys, come on in". I step to the side so they can enter my house. I live alone since i was 15 years old. I don't like to talk about the reasons so no one really knows, all i can say is that i'm better of without my father, grandparents or any of my siblings. "Hello Tendou, sorry for being late but Ushijima absolutley wanted to buy meet buns at the grocery store a few blocks away." "I wanted to buy them for Tendou, it's his favourite food and because he invited us i thought it'd be a nice gift." Ushijima looks at Semi while entering the hallway. As soon as i heard what they said my face brightened up. "Meat buns! Really? Thank you so much Ushi they're gonna be great!" I walk straight forward into the living room. "Actually i cooked Udon for you, i know it's your favourite food so i thought you like it. And don't worry Semi your favourite dish is here too, some rice balls." I point to the kitchen counter. "Wow that's great!" Ushijima and Semi reply at the same time. I chuckle and feel a filling feeling of happiness in my stomach as always when i hang out with those two idiots. 

We decided to watch the new Given movie. I actually already watched it but i really fell in love with it, so i agreed to watch it again. I place myself between Semi and Ushi on the couch with a bowl of popcorn in my hands. On the TV table are some cans of drinks and more snacks. We already ate the Udon, the rice balls, as well as the meat buns and i have to say they were great. The meat buns i mean, i haven't tried the other stuff but both had a happy look on their faces while they were eating, so i assume they liked my cooking talent. "I'll probably cry again so get me some tissues." While i say that, i turn on the TV. "Don't worry your miracle boy will comfort your poor soul." Semi reaches out to grab himself some popcorn. "Yes i can do that if you want to." Ushijima looks at me from the right. I feel my body heat up a bit but i still managed to reply with a calm voice, "I hope you will, that's your job as my best friend." 

It started pretty much when we reached the first quarter of the movie. I begin to drift away. My eyes who should be focusing on the TV screen, are  directed at Ushijimas face. They follow his well formed contur and his defined bone structur. His nose seems to fit perfectly into his face and his lips are partened while his eyes are followoing the movements on the TV. I realize that i'm staring when i hear a coughing coming from Semi. He saw the whole thing and signals me that it's time to look at the screen again. My heart starts to pound like crazy and i look away. Why does this happens so much lately? Why can't i just stop doing this stuff?

Even though i try and even though i like the movie, my eyes can't stop looking to my right where Ushijima sits. He isn't watching the movie right now, instead he's looking at his phone. Suddenly he starts to laugh in a silent deep tone. "What's so funny?" The words are out before i realize how stupid this question is and that it's actually none of my concern. Ushis head swipes to me and he says, "What do you mean? Why i was laughing? Oh i was just texting with Mila-chan and she said something funny." He looks away again and it's better that way. Else he could see the look on my face. The strange feeling of jelousy is back again. i Still can't find an acceptable reason why i feel this way, everytime i hear about Mila from Ushijima. I want to stop feeling that way so i try thinking of something else. Because i try so hard to think of anything else i can feel myself getting sleepy. before i could do something, i'm asleep.

I wake up after the movie ended. My head lays on Ushijimas shoulder. He looks down at me as i start to move a bit. I sit up straight and rub my eyes. "Did i fell asleep?" My vision is kind of blurry. "Yes you did, on my shoulder. I hope i didn't wake you up, i tried not to move." I realize that my body is wrapped in a blanket. "I-I'm sorry i didn't mean to. My head must've been heavy, you could've wake me up and did you covered me in a blanket while i was asleep?" While i said those words my face starts to heat up a bit and i'm probably red now. "Oh no it didn't bothered me at all and yes, i did covered you in a blanket because you seemed cold." Ushijima stands up to take the empty cans to the bin. I scratch the back of my head with a side look. "Well thank you i guess, but just wake me up next time." Semi watched the whole scenario. I can feel his eyes on my back and as i turned around to face him he looks at me with a knowing look. I can't interpret the look so i just try to ignore it with confusion. Why does everyone looks at me like that lateley?