Tom Holland Imagines

All I Want(Pt.2)

Part two to "It's Okay"

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I stare at the black screen for what seems like hours.  I feel numb to my core, not being able to move, everything is frozen.  I can't move as I gaze at the screen, wishing for her to come back.

I don't hear my phone ringing, I don't hear the knocking on my door, I don't hear Haz calling my name.

"Tom!! TOM!!" I finally snap out of my trance, Haz looking up at me with concerned eyes.  I can finally feel my body again.  My throat tight and closed up, my eyes dry from loss of tears.  My hands are shaking, as I try to talk, but my mouth opens and closes like a fish.

'Tom! What's going on, Zendaya and I have called you like twenty times!!" Haz cries.  I suck in a breath, trying to process what had just happened with Y/n.

"I... she... she took a job," I whisper, still in a daze, not looking at Haz.  Haz's brows furrow and he sits next to me.

That's when I look at him, my face breaking.

"I'm not seeing her next month," I whisper.  Haz's face softens, his eyes go wide.

Everything is a blur from there as I burst into tears, and slam myself into Haz.  I feel the tears pouring down my face, as Haz holds me in his arms.  I'm sobbing so hard I can't catch my breath as my whole body is racked with sobs.  I can barely breathe.

I wouldn't see her.  For the next four months.  I would have to smile, tell the media everything is okay for the next four months.  Tell them that we're doing just fine. 

Even though everyday I died a little bit inside.  I died every day that past, that her fingers didn't brush my skin, her lips didn't touch mine, her fingers didn't thread through mine.

"Why?  Why Haz?  I-I don't g-get it.  Why?" I sob, not understanding anything.  Why?  Why did I have to love her?  I loved her with every bit of me, but why did it have to be like this?  Why did love have to hurt so bad?

We sit in silence as I sob.  As the tears seem to go on for hours, before Haz finally pulls away.

"Why... did something happen?"  Haz asks.  I
close my eyes as if it would take the pain away.  I look down at my hands.

"She... she has a job offer... in... gosh I don't even know where she's going to be!!  I-I... I'm not going to be able to communicate with her for... for four months Haz," I whisper, my voice cracking under pressure.  Haz's eyes go wide.

"Y-you're kidding?" Haz stutters, his own heart slowly shattering.  I nod, wiping the eyes from my tears.

"Haz... I don't... I don't know how I'm going to do this."

"But... you told her no right?  You said it was just a job offer right!"  Haz exclaims, hoping to have found some hope in the bleak situation.  He jumps from the couch, a smile on his face. 
But then he notices how my face hasn't changed, how my eyes are still bloodshot and red, how my lips are pursed.  Haz's face drops, his hands dropping to his sides.

"You... you told her to take the job... didn't you?" Haz says.  I nod, a fresh set of tears rolling down my cheeks.  I look up at Haz.

"Haz... she could get seriously hurt.  I-I... I have no idea if I'll see her again.  I-I could lose her," I stutter, my voice breaking again.

"Tom I'm... I'm so sorry," Haz says, not knowing what to say.  I put my head in my hands, and shake it.

"Just... can I be alone?" I whisper, my voice barely audible.  Haz heaves a sigh, and gives a nod.  I hear his footsteps leave the room, my door clicking open, and then closing.

I flop back on the couch, one arm resting on my stomach, my other hanging off the side of the couch.

*play at 3:35*

I stare up at the ceiling, not knowing what else to do.  She... I just have no idea what I would do without Y/n.  She fixed me.  She brought me into the light.  She brought out the best in me, showed me parts of me I never knew existed.  Y/n showed me what it was like to be in love.  The feeling of cold air rushing across my face as we drove through the dark of the night, as we danced under the stars, laughing, spinning falling to the ground.  The light that shone in her eyes how it made me smile, how she lit up my world.  What would I do without her?  How would I function, how would I survive?  I wanted to call her supervisor, tell her to get Y/n on the phone.  I wanted to beg y/n to come home.

But then I remembered.

She dealt with my crazy schedule, her love for me never wavering.  The long plane rides she accompanied me on, the late nights she stayed up with me helping me read lines.  The days she held me while I cried over stress, running me baths, making me tea.  The weeks she went on without me as I was off filming, no complaining.  Every little thing y/n did to help me through my job.

And it was my turn to help her.

*play at 5:08*

But my heart hurt.  If she loved me, why did she have to do this?  I knew she loved me - she told me hundreds of times - but why?  Why did it have to be like this?  All I wanted was her.  All I needed was her.  I wanted her in my arms, I wanted her lips on mine, I wanted to see the smile on her face.

I suck in a breath, realizing my face was wet with my salty tears.  My chest is tight as I tried to take in a breath, but I just can't.  I can't take any breaths.  Not without her.  I just wished to see her face.  I wish I didn't have to say goodbye.  What if that was the last time I ever talked to her?

These thoughts cloud my mind, and I sob harder.  I curl into a ball and I sob like a baby, cause I have no idea what else to do.

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Thank you for reading!!! Love you all please vote and comment!!

There will be a part 3

Xoxo
~KalaylaJo~