Being Moon Bin's sister a Rocky fanfic

Chapter 32

Once I calmed down we got in the car and drove to his gravesite. I walked up to where he was laid to rest, "Hey Er it's been a long time. I miss you, I'm sorry I haven't come to see you in a while. It's been really hard these last few months. I'm so sorry that I caused this to happen to you. I'm sorry that I couldn't protect you the way you protected me. I finally confronted my dad. I spilled everything.

"I said almost everything on my mind, maybe one day we can meet again. I'd really like to see you. I miss you so much. Er, you were my everything you were my first love and I was sure you'd be my last. I love Rocky but I can't love him fully, you're always there. Everywhere I look I see you. I see you in the breeze that brushes past me, I see you in the leaves that fall, I see you in every little thing I do, I see you in the way the rain falls from the sky the way your tears rolled down your cheek at our last farewell. I see you in the way the waves play at the ocean, I see you in the way the trees bend to the breeze, you're everywhere I look and I can't escape.

"But when I look to my side you aren't there. You're not holding my hand when I'm scared or when I feel like I'm crumbling to pieces. I wish you were here so I could be mad at you for leaving me. I wish you could hold me the way you used to and tell me everything will be okay even when we both know it won't." I cried. After a while, I calmed down and just cried silently while holding myself and looking at the pale blue sky. When I looked back at the grass I could see where my hands ripped and tore at the ground desperately during my rant. The way the dead grass was thrown around and in piles. My hands were filled with dirt but I didn't care.

The only thing I wanted was him. The only person I wanted to be there was him and he wasn't so I cried again and again. I cried until I had no more tears to cry. Taeyong gave me space which I'm grateful for. "Sun," he started hesitantly and softly. I looked at him as a sign to continue, "Bin and Rocky will be here after they take Jinjin and Eunwoo home," he stated. I just nodded.

*Taeyong's POV*

I stayed back while Sunny was complaining to Eric. She needed time alone to vent and to say everything she needed to. Once she calmed down I slowly walked up to her and called out to her. She turned to me with bloodshot eyes and disheveled hair, tear stains on her cheeks that were rosy red from the cold and from crying. I told her what I needed to and then sat beside her quietly. I reached over and wiped her cheeks and patted her hair as she leaned on me for support.

There we sat for a while in silence just thinking to ourselves and during the whole time, it was peaceful.

*Sunny's POV*

After Tae sat next to me, he wiped my cheeks and patted my head and I felt safe. I felt better knowing I wasn't alone in my mourning. Even though our mourning was different we still mourned together. Bringing up Er really broke us both. We were the closest people to him along with Bin. He was our best friend and the only person we trusted.

As I leaned my head on Taeyong's shoulder I thought of everything the three of us went through together from first days to last days, to school dances, to Taeyong auditioning for SM, to sleepovers, to building castles in the sand. We got through it together and now we both have to live without him. As we sat in silence waiting for Bin and Min all I could think of was wanting Eric back.

"Tae?" I asked.

"Yeah?" He replied.

"I know I'm with Minhyuk but I want Eric," I kinda sighed out but it sounded more like a 'ha' sound. "Does that make me selfish?"

"I don't think so, Eric was your best friend. You grew up with him. He was there for almost all of your firsts and even was some. Eric is just someone who holds a special place in your heart and it's okay to love him. It's a beautiful sad tragic love," he replied. "Y'know Eric was always right about everything."