Just Do it Once

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"Hatter, why is a raven like a writing desk?"

I smile at my overly curious girl, "I haven't the slightest idea."  She smiles back with that beautiful smile of hers. I lean in and whisper into her ear, "Fare falling Alice." With those last words, she disappears. Disappears to go back to Overland. Disappears to leave us all.

To leave me.

That thought crept up on me. It just popped into my head before I had time to stop it. All day I've been contemplating what had been happening to my heart every time Alice is around. Right now, staring at the spot she once stood, it feels like it's breaking. Breaking into a thousand different pieces. Breaking because it knows a piece of it is missing. That very piece just disappeared right in front of me.

I haven't felt even a close enough feeling to this in a long time, and I definitely have never felt like this EVER. I tried to ignore it for so very long. The feelings that only couples have. The feelings only those who found their person have. But my person can't be Alice, she's too... she's too perfect.

Perfect in every which way. Perfect from her soft hair, to her little toes. I can't be with Alice. She's to far away now to even have that be possible, but that doesn't stop my heart from thinking it is. Maybe if I admit it once, I'll never have to worry about it. Just saying it once out loud and then it will go away, right?

I look around to make sure no one is around or in ear shot. It seems everyone has left, only to leave me staring at the spot our champion just disappeared from. I breath in all the air I can gather and slowly let it out. I stare at the spot she once was in and imagine she's there again. Smiling that incredibly beautiful smile of hers and I say it, "I love you, Alice."

Alice.

Alice...

Hatter loves me. Tarrant loves me. He just confirmed it with his own memory. I don't know why I tried to deny it, but I did. Mirana's memory was proof enough of what he was feeling, but I just couldn't let it sink in until now.

The Hatter, my best friend, has loved me for so long and I never stopped to see it. My bonkers, Mad Hatter. I'm not sure how to feel about it, but I know someone who has lots to say about it.

"Aww, bleh! Love is so stupid! I don't understand the concept of it. Why love someone so deeply, if their not going to give you the same way back?"

I shake my head at her criticisms. Even if I don't love Hatter the same way back, it doesn't mean I'll let her dump on my friends feelings. "It's completely innocent. Just because he loves me does not mean I'll look at him any different."

"Oh you don't, do you?" Emiliza questions. I nod my head for the obvious answer. "And innocent! Oh please, pretty girl. If you could see the stuff he's thought about you, I bet you would run to the hills."

"What do you mean?" I regretted that question right when I said it.

Emiliza smiled her famous cruel smile and states, "Let me show you beautiful, Alice."

Alice.

Alice...

Alice. That's the one name that's been jumping everywhere in my head now a days. I thought after admitting it out loud this feeling would go away, but it didn't. It got worse.

Now anytime anything, and I mena ANYTHING, reminds me of her I get these... thoughts. These very bad thoughts. Since she slayed the jabberwocky a year ago and left, they just kept coming. They always start off innocent. With me just missing her and wondering what we would do if we were together at that moment. Then they would take a dark turn, and I would be trapped with endless bad thoughts.

Like right now, I'm just sitting in my room looking at all my new hats I just made. I think about what Alice would do if she was here right now. Would she compliment my hats? Would she pick her favorite and wear it for everyone to see?

Then I think about what if Alice saw me, the same way I saw her. Would she lean against me and tell me she loves them all? Would she graze my hand with hers and tell me she wants me to make her one?

I would of course make her one if she asked. I've made her hundreds since she left, and she didn't ask. Then my thoughts get bad again. She would turn to me and whisper something naughty. This time she whispered, "What would I look like with one of your hats, but nothing else on?"

I shake my head and try to concentrate on my hats, but I can't this time. She feels more real every time. What if I just relieved myself once? Just do it once, then these thoughts will be gone for good. It worked with the last lass that tickled my fancy.

Just do it Hatter!

Fine!

I got up from my spot on the floor, and walked to the door. I locked it then went to my bed. I lay down ever so slowly to prepare myself for what I'm about to do. From what I'm about to do, with my best friend in mind. For the person that's controlled my thoughts for the past year. For my, "Alice." I whisper her name out loud and feel it. I feel my desire through my trousers.

I rub myself gently and moan with the contact. It's been so very long since I've done this. I bit my lip and imagine her on top of me. I imagine my Alice straddling my hips with nothing but her drawers and corset on. That's when I remember, Alice hates corsets. It disappears right off her body, and I gasp. She would look so beautiful here. She is so beautiful in my head at least, but to actually reach out and touch her would be a whole other mind blowing thing.

I unzip my trousers and sneak my hand into them. My breathing quickens each time I see Alice, fake Alice, move.  She moves her hands to her shoulder. She takes her little pinky finger and slowly moves it down to the top of her breasts. I watch her bite her lip in anticipation. All the while I'm stroking myself in anticipation.

She moves her two fingers to her left nipple and I see her squeeze it lightly. I wonder what it would be like to suck on them. To touch them between my fingers. I wonder how Alice would react too, to such a action. This Alice opens her mouth with a silent moan.

I feel myself getting closer to my peak. She continues her decent down. She moves to her stomach and traces her bellybutton. I look up to her face and watch her lick her lips.

I'm so close.

In a very quick motion, Alice moves her hand into her drawers and opens her mouth again in a silent moan. "Oh my," I whisper to myself. "Alice, oh gosh Alice. I'm so close. So very, very close." My imagined Alice leans forward to get close to me. She hovers her mouth over mine, but instead of kissing me she moves to my ear. I hold my breath, waiting for her to say something. The first words I hear this Alice whisper is, "Cum."

And that's what I did. I finished all over my hand and trough my trousers that I never took off. Just hearing that one dirty word from Alice finished me. I'm in such ecstasy I didn't even realize the fake Alice has disappeared. I thought I wouldn't care, but I want her back. I want the real Alice back even more. This plan didn't work. I don't want her to just disappear when I finish. I want her to be pleased with me. I want her to finish with me.

Oh, no. This isn't good. So very, not good. Alice has struck me too deep, and it's to late to turn back now for whats to come.

Come.

Come...

Oh. My. Underland. I feel my face become incredibly red. Never in my entire twenty-six years of life, have I ever thought about anyone in that way. I know about sex. I know what it takes for a couple to have a baby, but I never thought about anything like he did. Hatter thought about all of that with me.

Emiliza laughs. I finally compose myself when I remember she's here. This is definitely not the first time, but I most definitely would of not liked to see that memory at all. "Oh, come on. That was so tamed for what I'm going to show you."

My eyes go wide. "Your going to show me MORE!"

She giggles like a little girl with a secret. "Take it as preparation for whats to come. For whats go come... in your own mind."

I didn't have time to think or ask about that. She already put her hands on my head and I was off again.

Underlands Madness Unlocked [ Alice x Hatter ] B1Waar verhalen tot leven komen. Ontdek het nu