I can't have you

Monster

"You're strange." "I don't like you." "Stop being so weird." "Go and die." "You're a waste of space." "You are a MONSTER." I can hear the voices, even in my sleep. They won't let me go. These are things, people in my life said to me. I never knew why they treated me this way, as far as i know i've never did something wrong. I guess it's just the fact that i'm alive. 

I'm on my way home after school and i can already see my home. A small appartment with small windows and small rooms. As i'm opening the door to go inside, i can hear my parents arguing. They're arguing because of me, it's always because of me. I'm the reason they're sad and i shouldn't be alive. "He is a kid!" My mother just screamed at my father. "He is a useless piece of trash, he is a monster!" My mom seems to be the only person on this earth to not hate me compleatly. My father on the other hand, hates me with all his heart. Usally he slaps or hits me as soon as i get home , but today he seems to be too busy with arguing. I straight go to my room. I close the door and sit right in front of it, on the floor. I get my headphones and start listen to some music. As soon as the melody starts to play, the tears start to run down my cheeks. My throat tightens and it's getting hard to breath. My vision is getting blury and before i could do anything, my head already hits the floor and everything goes black. 

"Hey miracle boy!" I'm grinning at Ushijima while we're walking to the gym for our daily practise sessions. "Hi Tendou, how are you today? Is everything fine?" "Yeah don't worry about me everythings good. Let's go to the gym, i want to practise some blocking today!" I'm starting to run the last part to the gym. Ushijima smiles and runs with me. At the gym i can see Semi and Shirabu, as well as Goshiki. I greet them with a smile and they just nod or wave at me. 

Today was a normal day in my life. I got to hang out with my friends, which i love doing. I'm very thankful to have them, usally people try to avoid me. I never figured why they accepted me but they just did, so i don't question it anymore. As it's starting to get dark outside, the feeling in my stomach begins to grow. I know this feeling, it kind of became a part of my daily life, even if i don't like it. And i was right. Not even 10 minutes later the tears start to run. I can hardly breath and all i can feel is fear. I'm on my bed and try to calm down but it doesn't seem to work well. In the end i cried myself to sleep. I guess some things never change, if you have friends or not.