Justin couldn't believe it when he looked up and saw Jeremy walking into the front bar at the World's End. Only a blind man could have looked at him and not known instantly that he was totally gay. Was he deliberately trying to sabotage him? Then he saw that he was with Andy and Sam. His anger drained away to be replaced by anxiety. It was just sheer bad luck, that they were both here at one of their favourite pubs at the same time. He could only hope that Jeremy would see that he was with work mates and ignore him. 

Jeremy didn't notice him at first. He was at the bar, buying the first round of drinks when he turned and saw Jeremy in the corner, sitting with two other men in suits. Without thinking his face lit up and he waved. Then he started to come over. 

"Friend of yours?" asked Scott Evans curiously. He worked at the desk next to Justin. 

Justin's mind went blank. He honestly didn't know what he was going to say until the words came out. He stood up and gripped Jeremy's shoulder, giving it a slight warning shake. "Scott, Martin, this is Jeremy. My ... uh ... cousin." 

"Pleased to meet you," Jeremy said, his smile fixed like that on a store dummy. He nodded politely and pulled away from Justin's hand. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." 

He went back to Andy and Sam and sat down, trying to pretend that his whole world had not deflated like a burst balloon in front of his face. His two friends were staring at him in concern, evidently he wasn't fooling any one. He finished his drink in two gulps and stood up. "Sorry guys, I'm just not in the mood any more." 

The house was empty when Justin came home an hour later. Jeremy wasn't answering his phone either. Justin rubbed knuckles into his tired eyes. He had really blown it this time, how could he have been so insensitive? Jeremy would be upset. Naturally. But he'd understand why he'd had to say what he had, wouldn't he? He'd know he hadn't meant any thing personal. 

Who was he kidding? He'd be lucky if Jeremy spoke to him for a week.  

It was almost midnight and still no sign of Jeremy. Where could he be? Justin was getting really worried now. He dithered around for ages before calling Andy and Sam. He didn't like to disturb them at this time of night, but he needed to know if Jeremy was still with them. 

"Hullo?" a sleepy voice answered. 

"Andy, it's Justin. Do you know where Jeremy is? He hasn't come home." 

"Ah." Andy cleared his throat. "He's here, he's spending the night on the couch." 

"Can I speak to him?" 

"Sorry, he's asleep." Actually passed out would probably be more accurate.  

"Can you wake him up? I really need to speak to him, to explain." Justin gripped the phone tightly. 

"Sorry Justin, he doesn't want to talk to you. Maybe tomorrow." 

"But-" 

"Just leave it huh? Honestly, he's not in a state to talk to anyone right now." 

"Oh. Right. Tomorrow then. Er, thanks for looking after him." 

"Well, someone had to!" Andy answered sharply, before hanging up. 

Tomorrow stretched into Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and still Jeremy wouldn't speak to him. At first Justin was penitent, then he got angry and then he got frantic. Jeremy had to see him. He had to apologise, tell him that he'd been an idiot, that of course he loved him more than a stupid job.  

If he could only explain, Jeremy would forgive him. He was certain. They loved each other. He refused to believe he had shattered their relationship beyond repair. 

Saturday came around and he found himself alone at the kitchen table, the muesli untouched in his bowl, the newspaper taunting him with today's date. February the thirteenth, tomorrow was Valentine's Day. The box of chocolates he had bought for Jeremy was still in the cupboard, the card untouched in its blank envelope. 

He had never felt so empty before. This couldn't go on, he had to do something, something that would tell Jeremy how much he meant to him. 

Jeremy woke up the next morning to sounds of a commotion outside the apartment. Andy and Sam had a two storey unit in a block of eight, four each side of a private road allowing access for owners cars. 

It sounded as if someone was out there on the pavement with a radio. Damn noisy neighbours. He turned over and was just about to put the pillow over his head when he realised he recognised the song. What the-? It was "What a Beautiful Day" by Brett Every, a song about two guys getting married. Someone was outside playing gay love songs. 

His heart leapt into his mouth. It couldn't be? Could it? Not Mr Conservative I-wanna-be-straight himself? No, it was probably Andy or Sam trying to cheer him up. He inched reluctantly towards the window, already preparing himself for disappointment. 

And there was Justin, wearing his best suit, a portable CD player next to him, looking up, down on one knee on the pavement.

Rainbow Shorts ( my LGBT Short Story  Collection)حيث تعيش القصص. اكتشف الآن