The Ouiums Journey: Hell Broke Loose (book 1)

Chapter 22

The topic of my mother had been bothering me for a few days, so I sought out Estelle, hoping to find out the truth. I wanted to know how she and my mother were connected and what sort of relationship they had. Because I had been busy with plans and barely got time for myself, I hadn't been able to process it much apart from the night when I poured a little of how I felt into my journal. It was time Estelle clarified the truth about things.

I found her at the water's edge, staring out at the river while clutching a shawl around her shoulders to shield herself from the biting cold. The river sparkled in the moonlight, which bubbled and flowed with little splashes of silverfish. She looked so unhappy that I almost turned back, not wanting to worsen that look on her face, but my curiosity pushed me to walk faster until I was right beside her.

"Estelle," I mumbled, and she jolted a little at my tone. My heart quickened at the resigned look on her face that further confirmed my suspicions that she'd been expecting this confrontation. "I need to know how you knew my mother," I said, and she took my hands in her cold ones, squeezing them a little. I squeezed back in the hope to reassure her that whatever she said, she and I would remain friends. It was something I hoped for, despite being unsure of what she would reveal.

"I understand," she said, tucking a wayward lock of hair behind her ear.

"So, you knew her?" My brow furrowed in thought.

What would have made them hide their knowledge of each other from me and how bad must it have been?

"Walk with me," she said, smiling tentatively, and I nodded.

The two of us strode along the riverside; the cool, crisp breeze blew her hair in her face and ruffled mine.

"I met your mother in a place just like this one, Esa," she said, sweeping an arm over the river. "Or rather, where she found me."

"Found you?"

"Yes," she said. "Found Kaspar and me. We washed up at the shore of a beach, cold and near death. I was crying for my loss, and it felt like my heart would shatter into tiny pieces. We had only escaped Hell by the skin of our teeth, and if your mother had wanted to finish us right there and then, she could have, and we wouldn't have been able to put up a single fight."

"But she didn't," I said knowing that my mother wasn't that kind of person.

"She didn't," Estelle agreed, nodding. Her eyes unfocused as she reminisced. "She saved us, even though she knew we were Ouiums. She saved us. She took us in and made us members of her coven despite protests. And let me tell you, Esa, many opposed us joining, but your mother stood against them all."

She laughed a little at this, but her words shocked me. My mother, who cast me away, stood up for strangers. It was a tough pill to swallow, but I rolled my shoulders to shake away the hurt and kept silent so she could continue. There was an intense look on her face as she stopped and studied me as if she knew what thoughts swirled around inside my head.

"I understand your pain, Esa. She did not abandon you."

"I would say differently. After all, you're not the one got cast out for being an Ouium."

She dipped her head, then pulled her shawl close. "Maybe I do not understand your pain, but I know what it is like to have something taken away from you. Your mother, she gave me all those things back and more. I am eternally grateful for her and what she did for me. She mended our wounds and not just the ones on our bodies, the ones in our minds too. Not that it didn't take a toll on her. Sometimes, when she thought no one was looking, there would be such pain on her face, like nothing I'd ever seen before. But she was as strong as she was kind, so I suppose that helped her cope.

"Your mother helped myself and Kaspar rebuild our coven by sending some of her finest witches to help us start off. They were gifted, and they were determined to help us get back on our feet. It is not something Kaspar and I would have been able to do ourselves because if by any chance we had survived on that shore without her help, we would have been content to hide ourselves away somewhere safe, where no one would find us. But she infused us with her strength somehow, made us want more, better, so we rebuilt and we honed our magic."

"Did you cut off from her then? Seeing as you were back on your feet?" I asked, shoving my icy hands into my pockets. The cicadas screeched, letting us know how dark it had become.

"Oh no, our covens were partners, friends of sorts, sharing information and magic, coming to each other's aid during the conflict and helping each other rebuild when anything got torn down. It was a beautiful friendship, but like all wonderful things, it had to end." At this, she looked at me, and I realised I had caused it.

"I escaped Hell," I said slowly. I remembered Hell all too well; a boiling, terrible place. Its sole aim was to inflict suffering and immense pain. It was not something I ever want to experience again. I shuddered.

"You escaped Hell," she agreed, pulling me from my memories. "She knew you were coming, and she knew what sacrifices she would have to make once you found her. Desperately wanting to keep you away, she decided that the friendship between our covens had to end. Knowing the vow to shun Ouiums, your mother couldn't be seen interacting with us. You were not to know of our friendship, until now."

It all made sense, and I had regrets about how I had viewed my mother. She had not hated me as I had thought but now, knowing that was no good. If I had known, I would have hugged her tightly the last time I saw her and told her how much I loved her. If only I knew then maybe things would have been a bit different. If only I had known. A tear slid down Estelle's face, and she reached up to wipe it away. The gesture pulled something in my chest, and I realised that there was so much I didn't know.

"Your mother cast you away to protect you, Esa. Everything she did, every move she made was to shield you from even more pain. You had already been through so much, and she wanted to make your life easier." Drops of tears ran down her face and drenched her blouse. My eyes stung at the memory of my mother, seeing her in a fresh light after hearing everything.

"She was an outstanding woman, a phenomenal witch, and she loved you very much. She did her best to protect you, and for that, I am glad. I would not be alive without her, and we would not be friends without her. I loved her, as well."

I pulled her into my arms. My heart was heavy with sadness, yet at the same time, it was light with happiness. Knowing the sacrifice my mother made for me had that effect, and I couldn't help but wish she was still here with me. That she was by my side seeing how well I had progressed.

"She was amazing, wasn't she?" I said.

"She was" Estelle murmured.

Looking up into the moonlit sky, I imagined my mother was one of the brightest stars up there, and with love, I sent my gratitude up to her, thanking her for everything.

Maybe we aren't so different after all, Mother. All we want to do is protect the people we care for: our friends, family and everything in between.