Blinded by Limerence

79 | Adult Talk

"Hey — er — how're you guys?"

Eric looked away and cleared his throat, his cheeks turning a bright shade of pink for some reason, all while Killian shook his head and chuckled, but Morgan thought she heard a hint of bitterness in his laugh.

"Knowing you, that question isn't for the table but for these two, right?" said Killian, shamelessly pointing to Chase and Eric, to which the latter's cheeks deepened into a more intense blush.

Some things never change, thought Morgan reminiscently as she recalled all the times Eric would would go red at any suggestive mention of him, all the times Killian would be direct and straight to the point, not giving a crap what anyone thought. Specifically, the memory of her catching him and Killian in the act came to mind, and she had to stifle a sudden need to laugh.

"Yeah — er — we broke up," announced Chase, his eyes not quite meeting Morgan's. Judging by the way he said this, it seemed as if even though it happened quite some time ago, the pain was still fresh.

"Yeah, with Chase going to Brown and me going to Caltech, it was only inevitable," added Eric with a shrug that told her he was trying to be casual about it even though it was far from it. "LDR wasn't for us, as we soon found out."

"That sucks — I'm sorry," said Morgan. "Unless — unless I shouldn't be sorry?"

Chase was quick to wave her off. "Yeah, no, it was a long time ago," he said, turning to face Eric with a small smile. "We're okay now."

Eric nodded with much enthusiasm, maybe a little too much. "Yeah, we are," he beamed. "Anyway, I guess it's kind of cool to be able to say among the people I consider the most important in my life, I've dated half."

Addie quickly found herself laughing with the three boys at Eric's true-to-life joke. "Yeah, we've got a real 'How I Met Your Mother' situation here, huh?" she giggled, shaking her head at the naughty boys.

The conversation then segued rather smoothly to Addie and her AA meetings. Chase asked her how they were going, to which she replied that they were going pretty well. Killian joked that if she hadn't started attending the meetings, it was very plausible that one day she'd consume too much alcohol and "it's likely tequilya".

Morgan thought it was a good pun — a little forced but funny nonetheless — but she couldn't help but let her brain stray from the conversation, similar to many of those dark days in high school; it had slipped back to Archer. How was he? What was he doing now?

She was eagerly awaiting a segue to Archer, as to avoid coming off sounding like she was hung up on the boy, but that proved to be difficult as they started to talk about Killian's unhealthy love for puns — you know, the normal things friends who didn't run away talk about.

"Er —" Morgan tried to find her voice, but it came out as a rather awkward squeak. Thankfully, none of them had noticed and went on talking about how The Brew would still be the prime spot for hangouts if today's youths weren't so hung up on "aesthetic photos for Instagram," as Eric so eloquently put it. Addie disagreed, saying that The Brew is "plenty aesthetic."

Nick, to Morgan's surprise, even remarked that he, too, thought The Brew would be a fantastic place for a playdate and that his friend, Lexi, would much enjoy hanging out here.

Morgan patiently waited for the topic to subside, fully knowing that it was rude to interrupt — especially since she's only part of the tight-knit group on a technicality.

But Morgan soon found her attentiveness ebbing, as though her brain was slipping in and out of tune. She felt horrible because of it, but it was just one of those things where something enters one ear then out the other. It was an oddly familiar feeling, reminiscent of all the math and science classes she had to take, she quickly realized, before her mind swimmingly drifted off to Archer again.

Whatever dreamy state she was in, however, a line from Killian filtered in through her thoughts.

"— how scary it must be to raise a kid with every chance of that little dude turning into a rapist or a serial killer of some sort when he grows up —"

Face turning a dark shade of red, Morgan's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. "E-excuse me?" she stammered, nervously turning her gaze to her kid. She won't deny that that thought hadn't crossed her mind once or twice before, but she prided herself in doing a good job on parenting Nick — alone, nonetheless.

Six years and he hasn't shown any sign of being a psychopath, despite his own mother having certain psychopathic tendencies sometimes, Morgan would secretly think. Well, there was that one time he nearly trod on a frog and showed no signs of relief when he didn't...

"I'm not raising a rapist or a serial killer!" exclaimed Morgan indignantly. 

"Well, no one intends to," Killian retorted. "It just happens. D'you think Ted Bundy's mom knew she was raising someone who'd come to serial-kill and rape people when she was bringing him to playdates and wiping mush off the corner of his mouth —"

Despite the heated argument, Morgan began to space out again; she vaguely heard Eric mutter something about "serial-kill" not being a word, but other than that, she wasn't mentally present — not even present enough to worry about how her son would react to her old friends speculating about his future so darkly like that. 

How did college treat Archer? Was he, as he was in high school, popular?

How did her abrupt leaving affect him — if it did?

How come he wasn't here right now, sitting, chatting, and catching up with her and the rest?

Why is it that —

"Hey, um, how's Archer?"

Before Morgan even realized, the question had slipped past her lips, and everyone turned to look at her. She cursed herself for her evident lack of self-control.

She was sure Addie hadn't intended for her to hear it, but she shot Chase a knowingly look, glanced at her wristwatch, and whispered behind her hand, "24 minutes — you win."

"Archer?" echoed Killian. "Didn't he say he was spending the day with Adri—"

Curiously, what followed was a howl of pain and Killian slumping down on his seat to rub his shin, all while shooting Addie dirty looks. Chase and Eric exchanged nervous glances. 

"He actually had something else to do today," said Eric, quickly catching on to what the other two were on about.

"Yeah, you know that brother of mine," laughed Addie, but Morgan couldn't help but note how forced it sounded.

"Alright — well — it was just a question," Morgan said, flashing the group a shy smile. "No need to act so weird."

It may just have been Morgan's imagination, but 'Adri—' sounded awfully like a girl's name. Had he settled down with somebody else now? Was she a girlfriend? If so, were they in a serious relationship or was she just a fling, a fuck buddy?

Not that Morgan thought the world revolved around her, but you would think that a reunion with someone who mysteriously disappeared without a trace years ago would be more important than whatever Archer had going on.

Despite suspecting that the other four were hiding something, Morgan still felt a bit upset that Archer was a no-show. Sure, she didn't know if the four even kept in touch with him and if he was part of their little gang or if he was even invited to hang out with them today — but still, even though she knew she herself was being unreasonable, something in the depths of her damaged and deeply flawed soul told her different.

She was hurt.

She had deluded herself into thinking that even six years later, she still meant something to him.