Breaking In

Chapter 32:

"You just stole women's lingerie."

I hit Cameron on the chest when he finally let my hands go. He wrapped himself around me and pulled me in close to his body.

"I don't think they would have wanted them back. You drenched the panties." He laughed.

"Are you making fun of me?"

"No, darling. I love how wet you get for me, but I wish I had a ziplock baggie to put them in right now. They are dripping all over the ground. It's like walking on a slip 'n slide. Remind me that I need to bring a mop with us next time." He winked and grabbed my butt.

"You're lucky I think you're cute or else I would have blown your cover." I nuzzled against him.

"That would have been the second time you've blown me today." Cameron cheesed. He was on fire tonight. I had clearly been a terrible influence on him.

"Be quiet you. Now, show me what you stole. I want to see." I tried to grab the bag from his hand.

"The word is confiscated and you'll see what it is once we get home." He blushed as he pulled it away from me. There must be some pretty good little treasures in his bag if he was already this red.

We walked lazily down the shopping plaza sidewalk, still wrapped up in each other. Cameron dropped his stolen property off in his truck before walking us over to the sub shop across the street to order the food for us to take home. I was glad we weren't going to eat in. I wanted to go back to his place and just spend some time alone with him. An extra dose of canoodling with this handsome piece of work on my arm was just what the doctor ordered tonight.

Plus, I was eager to see what in the bag was making his face turn bright red.

We were standing in line deciding what we wanted when my alarm went off on my phone to let me know it was pill time. I silenced it quickly and got on my tiptoes to whisper in Cam's ear. He helped a little by lowering his head to me.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom to take them." I didn't want to embarrass myself by pulling a pillbox out in the middle of the crowded sandwich shop.

"Ok, darling. I'll order for us. Take your time." He kissed the top of my head and let me go.

When I got inside the bathroom, I pulled out the pillbox, laid it on the counter, and opened it. I fingered the tiny pills, studying them. Something felt wrong inside my body. I didn't want to take them. I didn't feel like I should. Was I stalling or was something really not right? Why was I hesitating? After what Gabby told me in group this afternoon, I needed them more than ever. Everything had started to become so perfect lately. Why would I screw it up now by skipping my meds?

"2 for the ups, 1 for the downs, and..." I paused. There were only three pills in the section. The fourth pill that kept me from growing horns out of my forehead was missing.

I looked around the counter and even ducked down to the floor to see if I might have lost one. I was really careful when I opened them, but it seemed like dropping a pill was the only logical explanation for one to be missing. It was either that or I messed up.

Did I really miss putting in one of my prescriptions when I filled the compartments yesterday? I had never done that before. I was always extremely careful.

I opened the section for the next dose and I saw the pill I was missing. I must have just skipped putting it in with that dose, which made me feel a little better. I went to pull it out and realized I had four of the same pill in the compartment with none of the other medications I needed.

Now, I was confused. I know I put them in the right way. I had a method of doing it and then double check them before closing the lid. The pills all look a little similar and it was easy to mess up if I didn't pay attention. I started doubting if I even had the correct combination now in my hand.

Fuck. Cameron was going to think I did this on purpose.

I put all the pills back in the pillbox and laid it back on the counter. I went into the bathroom stall and shut the door. I had to try to think through what I did and then try to calm myself down. I was starting to panic, wondering if I took the wrong medication this morning. I was on cloud nine after making up with Cameron and I didn't remember if I even went through my pill mantra in my head. With what Gabby told me earlier and the phone incident in the bathroom with Cam, I was really starting to question if I was slipping again.

Good and Bad Jessa had been silent most of the night, which didn't help my stress over this. They were only quiet when they weren't fighting one another, which meant they were the same person now.  That was never a good sign.

I had to have taken the right meds. I would have known if they were wrong. I was just being paranoid and my brain was trying to self-sabotage my recovery by trying to convince me to not take my meds. Things were going too well right now which meant my bipolar disorder was fighting for its survival.

With a renewed sense of confidence, I came out of the stall and went back to the pill container. I opened it back up and wanted to scream. The drugs were back in a different spot and there was one bright yellow one sitting on top of the others. When I opened the next compartment, there was another yellow pill on the top. I opened all seven compartments and each of them contained a bright yellow pill and three white ones.

None of my pills were yellow, were they? No, one had to be. That was why I wanted the yellow helmet to match my pills.

I closed the other compartments and shook my next dose out into my hand. I had to hurry. Cam was going to start worrying about why I was gone so long. I turned on the water and leaned my head down to cup some in my mouth to swallow it. I closed my eyes and decided to splash a little bit on my face to snap out of my borderline panic attack.

I grabbed a paper towel from the dispenser and gently patted the drops of water from my face before they soaked my shirt.

The hair on the back of my neck stood up as I was drying off. I felt like someone was watching me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a black shadow cross behind me, blocking out the reflection of the light. I jumped up and spun around in time to see the bathroom door closing quickly.

There was someone in here with me. Was it the same person who broke into my house? Was I imagining things?

Could I be going crazy again?

I ran out of the bathroom and searched through the crowd of people looking for the black shadow from the mirror. Everyone was in deep concentration and ignored me. I felt eyes on me again and I spun around.

Nothing was there.

I caught another shadow rush past me out of the corner of my eye and I spun around again, looking for it. There was no one there either.

Someone was messing with me.

I felt someone creep up and press their warm body against my back. I spun, swinging wildly. Luckily, Cam caught my arm mid-swing or I would have given him a black eye.

"Jess, what's wrong?" He studied me as he held my arms down against my sides.

"The fucker is back, Cam. He followed me into the bathroom. He's taunting me." I cried loudly into his chest. He pulled me into him to protect me from the rest of the world around me.

"Jessa, what are you talking about. No one else went in or out other than you." He looked back towards the bathrooms, confused.

"Cam, someone was in there with me." I cried into his chest as the whole place stared at me with wide eyes and open mouths. They were all fucking watching me. Every single eye in the room was turned in my direction.

"Let's just get our food and get home. You're tired, darling." Cameron whispered as he kissed my forehead.