It's Okay, Move On

s o l

18
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Little Do You Know plays on their rented car. He clenches his fist on his jacket at the lyrics. He glances at every opportunity to look at his fiancé.

The guilt comes back as the ginger places his hand on his, only for him to flinch in response to the action. Past nights memories came back harder, it's like the universe is trying to tell him to just pick one already. But no one will know his pain except himself, only he can understand this battle his mind is going through.

Although he loved Fundy, his fiancé, his present lover. The time he had with George beats it by a hundred miles. If only his ghost of a husband is still alive, he wouldn't be so confused. This wouldn't have happened.

His sol and luna. The pretend happiness he presents in the day and the true emotions he shows in the night. Thinking about it now, George and Fundy aren't all that different. They both love him and yet the only thing he does is hurt them.

"Dream?" He perks up and hummed in response to the other.

"Did I do something wrong?" A frown made its way to his face.

"Why'd you ask?" He tries to play it off as nothing, hoping they'll just move on and pretend it never happened.

"I tried to not say it, y'know? The month before, I noticed you've been acting weird," Fundy smiles at him, but it didn't reach his eyes, "But... something is clearly wrong."

Shit

"Is it this song? Does it hold meaning to you that I don't know about?" Because it does.

"Do you not want me anymore? Is that why you've been distant? Why I suddenly find myself alone in bed at night? Do you still want to get married? Do you even love me anymore?!" Fundy stops the car at the side, the ginger looked confused and broken. Hurt from the times he woke up with no one by his side.

He couldn't help it anymore, he breaks down in front of him, "I don't know, okay?! What do you want me to say?!"

"I just want you to be honest with me!" The other cried out, frustratedly.

With a small whimper, he looks away avoiding the other's gaze, "Of course I love you, Fundy. I want to marry you," It's just so confusing.

"I thought I was ready... to open my heart to you. I thought I'd be fine but it still hurts. Fundy, I haven't moved on," He cries and sobs harder as the other unbuckles his seatbelt to pull him in a hug, "I still love him, Fundy. I'm sorry... I still love him."

The sunsets in front of them but they couldn't admire it. Too busy crying and letting out all the hurt they've built up and pent inside them.

I love you till the sun dies

They fell asleep in the car. He woke up to find himself tangled in his fiancé's arms, it was already night. He wiggled himself out the ginger's bear of an embrace and gasps at the sight of the night sky.

Beautiful colors gave light to the night. He checked the time to find it move to exactly midnight. He saw George appear outside and he considered going out to enjoy this with him but...

His eyes landed back on the sleeping ginger and he smiles. He'll give this one night to Fundy. He wakes the other and his fiancé took a moment to process before running out and giddily pointing above. George disappeared.

Fundy pulled him to sit on top of the car, their hands intertwining and staying together as they looked at the lights. He couldn't imagine a better moment.

"Fundy," The ginger turned to him.

"Yesterday, now, tomorrow... I love you no matter what happens."

"What do you—" He didn't let the other finish, instead opting to kiss the other to shut him up.

For a moment, it was perfect. For a second, he picked Fundy. He picked the present.

Only for a moment.

____

When they came back home, it was the day before the wedding. An unsettled tension still lingered in the air around them. It wasn't the only thing making him nervous, unfortunately. This was George's last day too.

He pondered and fiddled with his phone, opting to message the ginger but his anxiousness didn't help the overthinking of his brain. His fiancé messaged him first, luckily.

Cheeky Fox <3

Fundy: hey...
11:48 pm

You: hi
11:49 pm

Fundy: Look, we didn't
have much time to talk
about this but... you can
still, cancel the wedding,
if you're not ready.
11:51 pm

You: Fundy...
11:51 pm

Fundy: Remember when
I told you that it would've
been obvious if you were
seeing someone else? Well,
it is. I tried to ignore it but
I snapped at you. I'm sorry.
11:53 pm

You: What? No, Fundy.
11:53 pm

You: The truth is, George
has been on my mind
lately... and it's driving me
insane.
11:55 pm

Fundy: You can still cancel
the wedding if you don't
want it. I can wait for you :)
11:56 pm

He doesn't know what to type or how to respond.

Fundy: ... Do you know
George and I are a lot alike?
But I'd die a hundred times
just to be him.
11:57 pm

Fundy: He has your love
while I can only hope to pick up
the scraps he left behind.
11:58 pm

Fundy: Y'know what I think
about when I hear you
crying at night? That I'm Sol
and George is Luna. Because
whenever it's night, that's the
only time I can hear you
reveal how you truly feel.
11:59 pm

Fundy: Is his ghost really here?
12:00 am

Fundy: ...
12:00 am

Fundy: Don't respond anymore.
12:01 am

Fundy: If you want to continue
the wedding, just walk
down the aisle. I'll consider it
a 'no' if you don't show up.
12:01 am.

"Dream," He turns around, "time is up."

____

End of Chapter 18

<3