Shut Up And Kiss Me (gxg)

1. F*ck It

This book is dedicated to Gloria.
You're crazy in the best possible way. I love you.

           "WILL YOU MARRY ME?"

           The entire restaurant gasped as he got down on one knee, looking up at me with something like amazement. As though I was the most beautiful girl in the world, and he couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life with me.

            "Mike Hunt, you didn't,"  I said breathlessly.  

            "I love you, Dixie," he said with shining eyes. "I always knew you you were the one. I've loved you since we were eleven years old and I popped your cherry in Grandma's trailer."

           People at the nearby tables looked up―like deer caught in headlights. 

           There are three things you should know right now.

           1. My name is Talia Decker, not Dixie. 

           2. My best friend's name is Aaron Green, not Mike Hunt.

           3. I need a new hobby.

            The restaurant was called Baton Rouge, a high-end steakhouse in downtown Brooklyn. Golden bars of light were dimmed over the wooden-paneled walls. Each velvet booth hummed with conversation, but at the sight of Aaron on one knee in front of my seat, the chatter died down.

            "Dixie, you are the love of my life. I've never wanted to be with anyone more than I want to be with you. You were there for me when I was arrested for assault, when I broke out of rehab, and even when I got your mother pregnant. You are the only constant in my life, and I can't imagine spending another day without you."

           "Oh, Mikey," I said, holding a hand over my heart. 

           Inside of the black velvet box, there is a curly onion fry.

           In a louder voice, he said, "Dixie Normous, I can't wait a second longer: Will you marry me?"

           By then, we had the attention of the entire restaurant.

           "Of course I―wait, you're not just saying this because I caught you and my mom together last week again, right?"

           Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the scandalized expressions of the family at the table nearby.

           This was always the best part.

           "No!" he insisted. "I love you, and only you."

           I narrowed my eyes with suspicion. "And you're not saying it because I found the bag of weed in your car this morning, right?"

           A waiter, speeding toward the kitchen, suddenly froze.

           My best friend took my hand in his, looking up at me with honey-flecked hazel eyes. "Don't worry, babe. I'm still sober. I don't get high, I'm just a drug dealer."

          A mother shielded her son's ears.

          "Oh," I said, softening. "Well, if that's the case . . ."

          "So what do you say? I have the keys to our minivan right here. I already switched out the stolen license plates."

           I covered my mouth with one hand, teary-eyed. "Mike Hunt, I never thought this day would come! Of course it's a yes!"