Listening To My Heart - Poetry/Lyrics

Poem 32 {The Last Time}

As I toss another time,

I let my mind wander off into the memories that are locked up tight.

Though the room is dark and cool,

I finally feel warm and alive for the first time today.

It's the same ritual every day,

I wander the earth and at night I gladly crawl into bed,

Ready for fantasy to take over.

My eyes shut peacefully and after hours of still no sleep,

I sigh in frustration and unlock the memories,

Letting my mind roam and reminisce,

Telling myself for the hundredth time that tomorrow I'll sleep alone.

Staring up at the ceiling in the dark my body tingles,

At the memory of your hand sitting on my back,

Your way of showing your ownership,

Oh hasn't your ownership changed?

A ripple runs through my body,

At the feel of your fingers pulling through my hair

As we lay in this very room,

Except the darkness wasn't so daunting than.

My hands burn with desire to reach out

At the memory of your arms wrapped around me ever so tightly,

Your way of showing me that you'd be there to catch me if I'd fall,

But you didn't stick to that promise either.

My eyes close content as the smell of you hovers around me strongly,

As strong as when I used to nuzzle up under your chin and inhale heavenly.

Do you remember how you use to shiver every time I did that?

A cheeky smile plays along my lips as I remember

 The ticklish feel of your lips teasing me as they used to crawl up along my neck and face,

And how you used to sigh every time and pull back

As I'd giggle at the sensation and the swarming butterflies.

Do you lie awake every night recounting on the past and all you will miss?

My heart leaps and spins at the memory

Of you whispering in my ear, as if it's a secret, how much you love me.

Are you ever so tempted as I?

To reach for the phone and call you just to hear you breathe?

Or to run out the door and fall into your arms?

Staring up at the ceiling I hope for the millionth time

That this will be the last time.

The last time I have to think back to our past moments

Instead of moments at the present.

To hope for the last night I lie awake alone.

And for the last time that I will fall asleep blissfully

Only to awake to the reality of

Your departure and the broken promise of forever.  

• ♥ •