Make Myself A Legacy (Another Stray Kids Member)

[Song Dimensions] Sorry - The Rose

I feel tired tonight

A word that you can't forget in a breeze

Sorry, for not turning back

Sorry, for selfish self of mine

With the music pumping through his veins, and the dances his feet would make at the moment, he has so many questions.

Questions for others, whose faces he knew but maybe his heart did not. But he hopes he does know them. Because they know him.

Questions for the world and society that have influenced people. He wanted to point his fingers towards them yet they always contradict and in the end, he finds the finger pointed at him. Because society does influence people, yet it was people who crafted society first.

Questions for himself, that weigh heaviest yet he carries with him every day. That sometimes he pretends he does not have them. Yet at a night so clear, with no stars, and the moon calling to none, had so much space. And that space forces him to feel the weight.

Maybe because those questions call for him to answer with the truth that only he can say. No matter where the witnesses were because his mind had seen it all and had known all the intentions that rode with it.

He was blessed. How could he ever hold memories against the people who took him in? Took him in despite being the one thing his birth mother despised. He failed at being a great son starting when he opened his eyes to the real world. The Ahn family, that did not only give him a name but an actual home, yet how could he do this to them. Ask for more, when was his time to be given back?

How could he hold it against people who first admired him? His schoolmates were his first fans and the people who proved to him that he is capable of being an inspiration. How could he ask his teachers to look away? Did his efforts not ask them to look his way? His hands, which chose to become callused and perfect with its curves of writing, were against everything his heart was asking. It did not like being watched.

The moon saw him. He was standing in a crowded city of silence, with the darkest clothes and a mask. And it saw him glance over and over at pictures, pictures of who he was before Korea. The mask he wore had not allowed anyone to see the smile that was nowhere near upturned. Yet his eyes had seemed so bright, only if they knew it was glistening because of the tears that refused to drip past.

The moon did not hear him. But the space between them, from the air, had told of what he asked.

Am I so selfish to leave that life behind? Am I so selfish to only think of myself because I didn't want to be who I was made to be?

And he chose himself. But if he were to go back in time, would he choose himself? Isn't that selfish but he would choose this path of performing always.

Yet that didn't mean he didn't get tired of the path he chose. There were days too dragging, that he would question his purpose. Whether asking that in front of himself only, with a reflection back at him. Or when he would be on stage, seeing so many questions yet only hearing the voice in his head.

Most especially now, when people left them. People did not try to hear them out. And they themselves sometimes succumbed to the darkness.

Maybe that's why now, he would prefer being under the stark night because no spotlights were forcing him to be brighter than it.

He didn't want to be many faces anymore, he only wanted to wear them. And becoming that person entailed him to pick this path that brought him bliss, and growth. Yet, would it be selfish to say that sometimes he gets tired too?