I Guess They Never Disappear

Chapter 28

Jared POV

Evan comes home from his therapy appointment looking much more happy and calm than he was going to it. 

Which is good. It's really good. 

He sets down a packet of papers on the table and waves to me. 

"Hi, sweetie." 

I smile and my chest goes warm. Evan is not really one for pet names. So when he uses them, it's something I cherish for a while. 

Those memories are some of the sweetest. 

"Hi Ev," I say. 

He goes to the cupboard and pulls out some crackers. 

"Snack?"

I snort. 

"Sure, I'll have some. You want to talk about therapy?"

He passes me the box of crackers and I grab a handful. (Evan has neatly placed his crackers into a tiny bowl, which is something that he's done ever since we were little. I'm pretty sure it's something his mom made him do.)

"Yeah," he says over his shoulder, walking into the living area, "I do. It went really well." 

"That's good."

There's a pause, and when I walk out to sit with him, he's eating one of the crackers. 

"Anything good happen in particular?" I ask.

"Why?"

"You seem more happy than usual, I was just wondering."

He smiles. 

"Yeah, I talked with Chris about medication."

I raise an eyebrow. It's a very un-Evan-like admission. If something good happens, he almost never tells me, which means this must be pretty good. 

"What did they say?"

"Well, I was talking about how I thought that I didn't need the increased dose, and I managed to convince them that I had improved enough to the point I didn't need it. They agreed to let me ease off the meds, and those papers over there—" he gestures to the packet sitting on the table, just out of sight— "are instructions on how to safely ease off the medication."

"Oh."

"I mean, I've been getting better, right?"

I think about all of the times I've looked over at Evan and asked him if he was okay, only to get a resounding yes in response. He certainly seems to want me to think he's okay. The most I can do is believe him, right? I mean, I have my suspicions that he's not exactly... telling the truth about this, but I can't just ask and ask and ask until I get my answer. He's an adult, and he's telling me what I can only assume is the truth. 

I really hope it's the truth, for his sake. 

"Yes," I say, "You have."

Some sort of emotion crosses his face briefly, although it's impossible to discern exactly what it is. Maybe he likes my answer. Maybe he doesn't. 

All I know is that he's not going to tell me because it shifts away just as quickly and Evan sets a smile on his face that looks fake to me. 

I'm just being paranoid, right?

"Yeah," he says quietly. 

Then, his mood perks back up. 

"Yeah," he says again, slightly happier, although I notice that his hands are twisting the bottom of his shirt.