Changing You ✦ The Sequel

Chapter 36 {R}

~ ☾~

I don't know how long I had sat there until something inside of me snapped. Until every second of waiting and doing nothing felt like a waste of time. Until not knowing became worse than praying for the best.

Ryan's head shot up when I walked back into the room. "Are you okay? What are you doing?"

I pressed the red button on the side of his bed, that I knew from experience was meant to signal the nurses. "I'm having someone come and check up on you," I told him. "They'll give you something against the pain, because I'm not letting you wait any longer."

"Zach wouldn't want you to," I pointed out when he opened his mouth to protest.

Ryan looked away, but not before I had seen the hurt flash through his eyes.

I wetted my lips. Then softer. "I'm going to find someone who can tell me how he's doing."

Ryan bit his inner cheek, his heart rate picking up. "My aunt won't stop calling me," he said quietly. "And Zach."

"Did you bring his phone?"

He nodded. "And yours. I think she's calling you, too." He reached for the two phones on his nightstand and got up to hand them to me.

The screens took turns lighting up in my hands. First Zach's, then mine, then Zach's again.

I tried my hardest to ignore his lock screen, scattered with cracks because of his busted phone and covered by 'missed call' notifications, but unmistakably a picture of us. I refused to look at mine.

I saw Ryan's phone light up out of the corner of my eyes, too.

"I haven't picked up, yet," Ryan muttered, picking at his own phone case as he sunk back down on the bed. "I don't know what to tell her."

"It's okay, you don't have to," I said. "I'll call her back. Are you going to be okay waiting here?"

When he didn't respond right away, I waited, my senses instinctively checking on him.

I didn't know if the fear or the pain he felt had drained all the colour from his face.

He pulled his lips into a tight line, his eyes focused on the ground. "If he's..."

"He's not," I cut him off, unsure when I had decided that it wasn't an option. I shook my head. "He's not."

He lifted his hand up to his face, wiped his cheek, one quick, short motion, like he was hoping for it to be invisible. "I shouldn't have said what I did earlier. You did everything you could, I know you did."

I turned around, fingers clenching around the devices in my hands so hard that they would've shattered if I hadn't shoved them into the pockets of my jeans just in time. "I won't be long," I stammered.

~ ☾~

I was still forcing myself to breathe when I walked up to the woman sitting behind the Information Desk, and I had to pull my hands into fists to stop them from shaking.

I barely heard myself asking the question, my voice catching as his name passed my lips.

Never before had his name left behind such a sharp taste in my mouth that it burned down my throat and caused tears to form in my eyes, and the sudden pain in my chest caught me off guard.

She typed it into the computer with ease, read his full name aloud without much to it, because to her it was just that. A name.

There was no face behind it. No feelings. No memories. No teasing nick names and twinkling eyes. No playful, smug smiles after the most random pickup lines. No quick, sneaky glances when he thought I wasn't looking. No silent conversations or gentle touches or secret I love you's.