HEARTS DON'T FEEL THE SAME (ZARRY)

23

HAZ'S POV:

"I didn't want to do this to him, Nini. I swear. But after that day I couldn't live with the thought that he wouldn't love me back, no matter what I do", I was sat on the grey couch that was in the corner of my cabin with Niall and Nick on the other side. The two of them got to know the truth of this marriage within two weeks. Let's just say it wasn't good.

"But what you're doing isn't right too, Haz. You think you are pushing him away by hurting him? No. You're only hurting yourself in the process", Nick reasoned disappointed.

"Yes. And also, the way you cried to us over the phone three days ago? Haz, do you even understand that what you are doing isn't good. You're punishing him for a mistake you both did; no matter if it was intentional or not", Niall reprimanded making me mad.

"Do you think I'm not punishing myself? I'm letting him go even after I know that I wouldn't be happy with myself ever again. Don't you think that's a punishment in itself?", I snapped.

"But why are you even doing that? You can talk to him about it. You've to open up your heart to him, Niall spoke again while Nick just nodded in agreement.

"Because I know he doesn't have any feelings towards me. You know what he said two days after the incident? I drank the regular coffee just because he made it and he went on saying that he was scared that if I die he wouldn't get the money as promised", I chuckled humourless. "The beauty of this is he literally told me that we shouldn't get too personal with each other", I explained pacing the room like a fanatic.

"When did he even say these things?", Nick questioned with his eyebrows raised.

"Two days after that incident", I whispered. "That was when I made the decision".

"But he didn't know about it. Did he?", Niall asked in a lower tone.

"No", I sighed. "I gave myself to him, guys. Yet he doesn't want me. He doesn't love me. He doesn't know how much I have cried to myself these past few months. I've wished that he'd atleast remember something. I wished he'd atleast look past the money and into my eyes to know my feelings. I wished he did something more. But, no. He doesn't know anything and he doesn't even love me anyway. I've buried those feelings inside a corner of my heart. I'm better now. I'm ready to let go. I'm ready to move on now. If he's not happy with me, if he's unaware of the emotions between us, it's better he leaves. He captivated my everything, mind, body and soul but he doesn't know about it and I prefer it that way", I poured my heart to the two of my best friends sitting before me. I fell to the ground and cry inconsolably until there were no tears left to cry.

"Well if that's what you've decided for yourself, we aren't going to stop you", Nick spoke giving me a sympathetic smile while Niall nodded in agreement.

"I'll try to move on. I'll definitely try", I said with a determination, before I placed my right palm on my heart and mumbled to myself. "But the love I had for you was real".

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"I-I l-lost my m-match. A-again. I lost my r-reputation. I lost every-thing. Hazel Beast is no more", he rambled as Liam and Louis brought his heavily drunk self into the living room, where I had sat waiting for him to come home.

"What happened to him guys?", I questioned angrily while the couple looked guilty  "Z, how much did you drink, baby?", I asked concerned about his state.

"He actually lost a match. So", Liam trailed.

"He drank so much for just losing a match? A baseball game is not important than his life. What were you two doing?", I reprimanded annoyed.