Camila/You - Saving you

Chapter 18

Camila/You – Saving You – Chapter 18

A/N: My heart is still not okay right now... This fic is gonna be so depressing for the next chapters and I am not even ready myself..

Your point of view.

“I wish you never came back.”

As the words flew out of her mouth, I felt the sharp pain piercing through my flesh and finding shelter in my heart, slowly tearing it apart, making it feel like it was going to explode. I never thought she would like that but then again, I knew how losing could change someone's heart along with their whole being. Maybe she had chosen to shut down the outside world out just like I had many months ago. Maybe she had chosen not to feel anymore which was why those words were said. However, regardless of the real reason they were said, the pain in my heart just kept growing as she walked away from me. It grew to the point that I could barely blink back the tears that threatened to roll down my cheeks. I felt a soft hand rest on my shoulder and immediately met Lauren's compassionate eyes. I knew she was trying to be there for me because that's what she thought I needed but she was wrong. They was only was thing capable of curing this disease that contaminated my heart and took control of my emotions, and that thing was Camila, or more precisely Camila's love for me. But she didn't want me anywhere near her, she didn't even want to look at me and that just gave more strength to that disease that was killing my soul. I came to a point that the tears were stronger than my will and finally managed to escaped the prison where they were kept. I got up, looking down as I didn't want anyone to see me even more vulnerable that I already was, and walked away at a fast pace, needing a moment alone to think about what had just happened. I just walked, careful to remain in the limits of the camp where it was safe and where I didn't risk meeting a walker or a horde. I just walked, my feet dragging me wherever they wanted without my consent. She wanted me gone. Camila Cabello, the only girl I ever fell in love with, wanted me gone. She wished I never came back. She had fallen out of love and that caused the greatest pain in my heart. I thought that I would never experience a pain as strong as the day I lost Mel, I made sure I never would by closing myself up and letting the others care. But I didn't follow my plan and ended up falling for Camila just to lose her in the very end. As I kept walking, the darkness of the surrounding similar to the one in my heart, I reminded myself that I was the one who chose to fall for Camila. You'd think I would regret it, that I was better off without her and that if I had chosen to follow my initial plan which consisted in not caring about anyone else but me, then i'd be good today. But I didn't regret it for a minute. Camila made me experience things, feelings I never wanted to forget. I realized now how fucked up I was before Camila, how she was right when she said I wasn't living and only surviving. I realized that her love was the greatest thing that had ever happened to me. She had saved me from my own agony, soothing every pain I felt, turning it into strength. But now that she wasn't mine anymore, now that there were no signs of her love for me anymore, who was gonna save me? Who was going to make this pain disappear? The pain was impossible to handle as the tears still hadn't stop rolling down my cheeks, making it hard for me to see where I was setting my feet, which made that finally, the inevitable happened and my feet bumped into a rock making me fall to the floor. Slowly, I straightened myself up on my knees and I froze when I looked in front of me. The air in my lung began running low as I read what was written on the first rock my eyes fell on.