It Was Just a Job

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I could not sleep well that night, with the image of John and that girl popping up all the time.
I should not be jealous – for goodness sake I had only met him for a day! And Kyle was waiting for me up in heaven.
I hope I could finish my work here soon. I would have to go hang out with John today. To be quick. Hopefully I could lock that image and jealousy up when I was with John later.
I glanced at the clock. It was just seven in the morning. But I could sleep no more, so I decided to get up.
I went to clean myself up, and put on some fresh clothes. It seemed colder than yesterday, so I put on a jacket. Having fresh clothes on made me feel slightly better.
I walked over to the window with my shoulders slumped. I opened the curtains harshly. I looked over to John’s house – I was glad that my room’s windows were facing John’s house – his black Audi was still outside his house, and I saw the girl from last night walking down the street, the same direction as the blond girl I saw yesterday morning. Now I started to doubt the thought of the blond girl just being John’s friend. But why should I care?
I walked down the stairs slowly to fix myself a bowl of cereal. I ate very slowly, and it was already ten when I came back to reality from my daydream.
I decided to go and visit John. I was right, today was slightly colder.
I walked up to John’s front door, and paused, debating whether to press the doorbell. I did not feel like facing him. But I just had to – I had to remind myself that the sooner I fixed his life up, the sooner I could forget about him and pretend that he had never existed in my life. I could just brush him off like dust on my shoulder. And I could go back to heaven and join my family and friends again.
So I pressed the doorbell anyway. I waited for a few seconds. No sound. So I pressed again.
“Ugh, what do you want?” John suddenly swung open the door, with an impatient expression, but froze when he saw me.
“Oh, (Yn)? Sorry, I – I just thought you were someone else,” John stuttered.
“It’s okay,” I forced a smile, hoping that he would not pay attention to my poor acting.
“What makes you come so early?” he smiled back.
“Oh, I was just planning to ask if you have anything to do today,” I said, “Remember yesterday you asked me if I wanted to hang out? You said you could show me around.”
“Ah,” he said, uncertainty crossing his face, “Um, sure, I’m free today.”
“Good!” I forced another smile.
“Erm, I’ll come over to your house later, at around eleven, okay?”
“Okay, so…” I made a move to back out from his porch, “I’ll see you later!”
“See you!”
John closed the door and I went back to my house. He seemed a bit weird. Like he did not really want to be with me. This made me feel a bit sad. But I should not be. I was just here to help him, not to bond with anyone. I would not want to hurt somebody when I went back, would I?
I watched TV for a bit and walked around the house. Finally the bell rang.
I quickly went to open the door, “Hi!” I greeted him.
“Hey,” John replied with a small smile, “You ready?”
“Yeah,” I followed him out of the house. He did not have his car with him today. It was not parked in front of my house, but in his garage, I guess, as it was no longer seen, “Where are we going today? I reckon we are not going far today?”
“Yes, we’re going to the park – it is okay?”
“Of course! I love going to parks,” I replied, and it was true – I suddenly remembered going to the park with Kyle, and how I ended up not giving out my first kiss after all…
“Great,”
I attempted to make small talks along the way, but John seemed to be occupied with his own thoughts. He just gave me some short answers.
At last we made it to the park. It was not really big, but pretty. There was a small pond with ducks and a bridge over it, and there were also some children facilities like slides and swings. Not many children were there, since it was Wednesday. They were probably at school.
“It seems like a really nice park,” I said, trying to break the silence.
“I always like this park. This place gives me peace,” John said. I was taken aback, as I expected him to reply with just a “yes” or “no”.
“Really? Do you come here often?”
“Yeah, I always come here whenever I need comfort,”
“Don’t you hang out with friends? I know we just met yesterday… But I want you to know that you can always trust me with your problems. You can come and talk to me when you need somebody. I really like you. You are a good friend,”
“Thanks,” John gave me a small smile, “I’m really happy that I have such a nice new friend. You know I don’t really have many friends… At least a friend that I can rely on.”
“Oh,” I said. He was such a friendly person, despite the fact that he had been acting weird since the encounter with the little boy Brian yesterday. I was quite surprised to know that he did not have many friends. He had not mentioned his social life before. All I knew was that he was “single”.
“I hope you wouldn’t leave me when you realize my flaws…” John suddenly whispered.
“What would make me leave you?” I laughed; he actually looked cute saying that, “It’s not like you eat people or something.”
“Uh-huh,” he murmured.
There was definitely something wrong. He just seemed not like the John I first met. The one who always made fun of everything and was super talkative.
We walked around the park, and when we came back to the place where the children playground was, I could not resist but said, “I want to play for a bit – I haven’t done that for ages!”
I ran away from John’s side, towards the slide. It might be a bit small for me, but I climbed up the stairs anyway, seeing there was not really anyone around, expect a few old ladies talking on the bench and a little girl watching ducks with her mum.
I giggled when I slid down the slide. I had to use my legs to help me go down.
When I was back on the ground, I looked over to John and caught him smiling at me. He saw me looking at him. He blushed and quickly looked away. He looked really, really cute like that – I could not help but stare.
When he looked up again, I smiled at him, and walked over to the swing.
“Want to join me?” I asked him, attempting to swing higher.
John chuckled, and sat down on the swing next to me.
“Let’s see who can reach the highest!” I said, and pushed on the ground with all my strength.
“You’re on!” John laughed. I could tell that he was becoming more relaxed.
John swung so high that he almost went horizontal. At last I gave up trying to get so high.
“Okay okay, you win!” I stopped the swing, and looked at John, who was letting the swing stop by itself.
“Let me give you a push,” John jumped from the swing and went behind me. He pushed me and I started to giggle.
“So John, tell me, what do you think your biggest flaw is?” I tried to squeeze more information from him.
“Huh,” he mumbled, “My biggest flaw… You wouldn’t want to know.”
“What if I want to?” I asked, and then added, “Maybe I’ll tell you my biggest flaw. Mine is that I’m a loser.”
John stopped pushing. I stood up, and followed him to an empty bench.
“How are you a loser?” he sat down.
“I used to get bullied a lot,” I said, “They all said I’m so not cool and I’m too attached to my parents. But I just love my parents. And they teased me about still having my first kiss with me.”
“What?” John said, as if he had not heard what I said.
“I said—”
“No!” John interrupted, “Sorry, I mean, you’re a totally cool person! They’re just so mean! And I’m surprised that no boy has ever tried to kiss you! I mean if I were them I would just—”
“What?” I asked when he stopped. And I remembered Kyle saying similar things. I shook my head, trying to focus on John for now.
“Nothing,”
“There is something!” I insisted, “Tell me!”
“I was saying, I would just – just kiss you anyway,” John finished the sentence in a rush, blushing.
I blushed, not knowing what to say, then laughed out loud.
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” I said, “Why would you want to? I’m not that cool anyway.”
“You are the nicest person I’ve met, I swear,” John suddenly said seriously.
“I am?” I raised my eyebrow questioningly. I realized that we had been sitting closer and closer to each other and we were both sitting on the edge. And now we were gazing into each other’s eyes silently.
“Yes,” John breathed, and glanced down at my lips. He then looked back up into my eyes, leaning in.

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