Our Hill Of Stars

twenty

WREN THOMAS

I looked at Lacey.

My eyes hurt from crying so much. They were raw and red and everytime I blinked it felt like I was being burned.

"It was you." I mumbled, the words dripping off my tongue like acid.

"It was you who called the cops on Sebastian and let him believe that it was me."

Lacey stumbled over her words, mouth gaping wide as she tried to find her voice, "I can't believe you. Is this why you're friends with me? Because we shared a mutual hatred with Sebastian?"

"No! Of course not. I-"

"Was it pity? Did you feel bad for me?" 

"No Wren I-"

"I have had enough of everyones pity." I sobbed, glaring at Lacey and Sebastian who looked like two lost puppies.

"You let Sebastian believe that it was me, who snitched on him. You let him bully me, for years." I started, "You held me while I cried because of people who were being mean to me. I- You're a bitch." 

Lacey gasped and Sebatians eyes widened, "Wren."

"All this time, it was you and you let him do this to me, comforting me and letting me it was all going to be okay?" I sniffed, "You're such a liar how could you do this to me? Did you even like me, at all?" I asked.

Lacey shook her head, tears falling from her brown irises, "Wren I love being your friend. I didn't feel bad for you and I didn't want to make you feel like a charity case."

"Well you did." I cut her off.

"You didn't deserve his slander, and I wanted to help you." 

I laughed humourlessly, "Both of you are cowards." I hissed, earning a solemn look from them.

"How could you do that to me." I whispered, her face flooding with guilt. "How could you do that to Sebastian."

"What?"

"I am traumatised." I started, "Sebastian bullied me, and then when he left, the rest of the school bullied me too. And it's all your fault." I cried. Lacey tried to hug me but I shoved her away, "You let him believe that I was a horrible person." 

"Get out." I said calmly.

"What?"

"Get out of my house, now, get out!" I shouted.

Lacey took a step back, while Sebastian stayed put.

"Get out of my house before I throw you out, both of you, please. I can't do this tonight." I cried, my vision blurring.

"Wren="

"Shut up Sebastian. I've had enough of you."

Lacey thundered down the stairs and I waited til the front door slammed shut that I turned to Sebastian, "Get out of my face." 

He put his hands up, "I'm not gonna do that."

I felt like tearing my hair out, "Fine. Then stay there, maybe you can be useful for once."

"Where are you going?" He asked me, following me downstairs.

"To get a box."

I grabbed a cardboard box and shoved it into his hands, he held it and followed me back to my room where he stood awkwardly in the middle of my room.

I opened my closet doors, clothes falling to the ground as I pulled a drawer out of a dresser. It fell to the floor with a bang as I got onto my knees, shuffling through the stuff.

"What is this?" Sebastian asked me, kneeling on the floor next to me.

"Memories. Photos, Polaroids, movie tickets, look familiar."

I started chucking photos of Lacey and I into the box and then got the a bright pink shoe box, covered in glitter and stickers.

"You kept it?" He asked me. 

Our names were written on the box in sloppy handwriting. 

Our initials WT + SL in a heart with an arrow through it caught my eye.

"Yeah."

"I didn't." He said quietly.

"I know. I saw it in your trash when I went to your house." 

"When did you go to my house?" He asked me, "Two days after you were arrested." 

Sebastian looked shocked, "I wanted to apologise to your Mom." I choked on my words, "And I saw our memory box in the trash outside."

Sebastian's eyes were filled with unshed tears as he lifted the lid off my memory box.

Photos from when we were 5 all the way until the first day of high school spilled out of the box, surrounding my feet as I smiled at the memories.

"Wren I am so sorry." Sebastian said.

"Yeah, you said that." 

Dumping the whole memory box into the cardboard box, Sebastian looked at me wide eyes, "You're throwing it out?"

I nodded, "Y-you can't."

"I can and I will. You did, who's to say I can't do the same?" 

I started to hyperventilate as happy memories filled my head, ones I chose to forget.

"Do you remember when we went to the fair." I smiled. He nodded, "And we got that cotton candy. You ate too much and threw up on the rollercoaster."

Sebastian chuckled slightly, "That was the best day of my life." I cried.

"And the next day, you hated me." He said. I nodded, "All I could think about, was how much I regretted what I had said. And then you got arrested and- my life flipped on it's axis."

He stayed silent, letting my speak.

"You were the best thing that ever happened to me, Sebastian." I whispered, looking into his cerulean coloured eyes, "What did I do to make you hate me so much?" 

I cradled my knees against my chest, "You didn't do anything. It was my own insecurities and selfishness catching up to me. In reality, you we're the only person I wanted to talk too when I was in juvie. I hated you because I loved you." 

I looked up, confused.

"And I couldn't stand the thought of you hating me, so I hated you back. And I had no idea the consequences that you had because of me. And for that, I'll never forgive myself."

I sobbed, crying into my damp shirt as I felt his arms wrap around me. And for this one time, I let him hold me. I cried for me.

I cried for him.

But mostly, I cried for us.

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