(completed) ELEVEN eleven 11:11 // JINJOO

Chapter 36

"I... I can't believe I agreed to that....." She was hyperventilating so hard.

"What did you agree to?" I was so concerned.

" I agree... I agreed to..." She couldn't even articulate her words properly.

I got her a cup of warm water and calmed her down, "It's okay, slowly slowly."

"I agreed to leave her... To leave Minjoo..." She continued.
"Why on earth would you agree to that?"

After Yujin told me the entire story, my heart ached. Why can't there be a happy ending. Why is it that there must be something that come in between them all the time. The worst tragedy in the world is when 2 people who love each other so much but just can't make it work. She had no choice. In order to protect Minjoo, Yujin had to leave.

Yujin's POV

It's all been settled. We're heading to the UK, to Edinburg. How quick... My parents already made the arrangements of the transfer, and at the same time, they thought it would be awesome if the entire family migrates there too. The application of the process has been so smooth due to my father's power and influence. The day is coming, and I haven't gotten the heart to disclose the truth to Minjoo yet.

The past month I've been acting like normal with Minjoo, little did she know my heart breaks a little each time she calls me baby, each time she says I love you. I kept her in the dark for the entire time, she seemed so happy when she's with me, breaking it to her would literally tear me apart. I did all the lasts with her — the last time watching a movie, the last time going to the theme park, the last time going for night walks by the seaside, the last time spending time together studying, the last time bringing Mongchi to the groomer, the last time patting her to sleep, the last time of everything, I cherished every moment.

Time is running out. I held onto her hands walking along the paths of the garden, the garden that I once confessed to her. I pretended to be a little less affectionate and more hostile for the last few days, I think she's smart enough to have already noticed.

"Yujin, is something wrong?" She halted her footsteps and glanced at me, "Why are you being like this... you ain't usually like this..."

"Minjoo, let's stop all these."
"Wait what? What do you mean?"
"I'm tired."
"Tired? Tired of me...? Yujin... I don't get what you mean." Minjoo's voice cracked as she looked down and blinked multiple times, confused about the situation.

The concussive weight in my chest builds like a volcano, it shoots pressurized lava up eventually, down my vertebra into my stomach, flowing to the nape of my neck and the back of my throat, through my temples and the top of my head, my whole body felt like it was going to collapse, but I've to continue the act.

"Yeh, I've realized that what your parents said was right. Feelings will eventually fade, and that this relationship won't go anywhere. I'm tired of all these." I turned around, back facing her.

"You don't love me anymore?" She pulled me back and turned me around to face her. Tears started to well up in her eyes, "How could it be? You were just fine the week before..."

"I'm leaving, Minjoo ah."
"Where??"
"To Edinburg. My father is bringing his business there, and my family is .... migrating there too."
"Migrating? You've never talked about it before. Why... Why so sudden?"
"It's been planned pretty long already."
"What... I don't get you... When are you leaving...?"
"This Sunday."
"You're not coming back anymore?"
"Not so soon... I guess. I don't want to continue hurting you, especially when there won't be an outcome from our relationship."
"So what now... You're... breaking up with me?" She gazed at me with pain all written over her facial expression. I hate seeing the person I love in pain. Forgive me Minjoo, I really have no choice. I love you so much, I have to protect you. At that moment, it feels like your heart is slowly being crushed, like someone is holding it and squeezing it the hardest they could, then just stopping and continues the torture by slamming it with a hammer, over and over and over again, until your heart is just nothing more than a few pieces, a bad resemblance to what it was before.

"Nono... Hush don't speak, I don't want to hear. I don't accept anything that you're going to say. No matter how far you'll go, I'll wait for you. It's not like i've not waited before. I've done it well and I can do it again. I'll wait for you. We can have long distance relationship. I really don't mind. I'll fly over to accompany you once in awhile. Just please, don't say you'll let me go. I can't live without you." Minjoo wailed, and she begged.

"I have no faith in long distance. Trust me it really doesn't work."
"WHY? Why are you presenting to me a death sentence when we haven't even tried?" She started to hit my chest and my legs started to back paddle. The shorter woman then fell onto the ground hugging her legs, burying her face. She weeped and weeped. I stared at her, the woman I love in agony. It feels as if my whole world is crumbling down, my happiness has been depleted, as though i lost an important part of myself.

She gazed at me once again, "Do you really have to go? Are you really leaving me?"

I guess the silence made her understood everything. She got up from her squatting position, turned and sprinted away. I watched her she slowly disappeared from my sight. And at that moment, I lost it. I yelled at the top of my lungs. I detested myself for making such a decision. I've lost the love of my life, how am
I suppose to be happy again? Especially when I ruined everything with my own hands. I'm in hell. I feel like I can't fit into my body. I want to rip off my skin and every single bit of my heart. I want to forget, I want to run away. There's no words in the dictionary to describe the amount of extreme pain I'm feeling right now, but I'm sure Minjoo's having it worse.

"I'm sorry.... Minjoo ah, I'm sorry... I had no choice, forgive me please... forgive the one who loves you the most." I mumbled under my breathe.

Maybe one day we'll meet again and explain to each other what really happened. Maybe one day we'll finally understand, until then, I hope, you live your best life, and really do thing you said you'll accomplish.