𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨: 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘴, 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯!
Tragedy can happen to anyone, anytime and anywhere, and the saddest part about that truth is...
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Chapter Five: A Jog A Day Keeps The Thoughts At Bay Sophia Crawford
It was Sunday today, making it almost an entire week since River had the panic attack in the boys’ bathroom, and even after a week has passed, I still couldn’t get the image of his bleeding knuckles and the bloodied shards of mirror lying in the sink out of my head.
It was a grotesque image, but nothing could beat River’s face when he turned to look at me when I caught him hitting that mirror numerous times.
He looked completely vulnerable and weak with the tears streaming down his face and when he gasped for air as he was struggling to breathe made my entire stomach drop to the ground.
It was a feeling I knew so well.
When the nurse came into my hospital room and told me that Daniel didn’t make it, I felt the exact same way River felt when he was gasping for air. When the nurse told me that Daniel died, it felt as if my breath was knocked from my lungs.
I couldn’t inhale another breath because it physically pained me.
It’s then when I realised that something might have happened to River.
Panic attacks are usually triggered, so something must have triggered River after the support group session.
But the question is what?
What triggered River to have that panic attack?
I guess I will never really know.
River has been avoiding me ever since the bathroom episode, and to be honest, I was busy avoiding him too. It was hard to avoid him in Biology when he occupied the seat right next to mine, though, but he only spoke when he was spoken to, making it easy for me to avoid him, and vice versa.
I didn’t tell anyone about the episode—and by everyone, I mean Ana and Cole—because it wasn’t my place to tell them and I know for sure that if I were in River’s shoes, I wouldn’t want him to tell anyone about it, either.
It’s a very vulnerable state to be in and definitely not something people should joke or gossip about, and it wasn’t something to share over a cup of coffee, either, so I kept what I saw to myself even it was difficult to keep what I witnessed to myself when Oliver was literally a phone call away.
River needs serious help. Oliver’s help.
He needed help in that bathroom when he used a mirror as a punching bag, multiple times, but I don’t think River is the kind of guy who would admit that he needs help. River seems like the kind of guy who would rather suffer in silence than bother someone with his problems.
